© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Chuseok
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Vivid Dreams
Korea, it seems to become vivid as the days pass, almost like a dream. Because honestly, Korea to me is a dream. My fantasy, and yes I know that some things might not be as one might expect but that's the beauty of it.
Here's a picture of the promised Strawberry Cake, it had two layers one had strawberries and second one had chocolate. I had planned to use white chocolate but couldn't find it when I was finishing the cake.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Chuseok
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Chuseok
Monday, 30 May 2011
Rouge Regime
This book is another book about North Korea and it was written by Jasper Becker.
© Taste of Kimchi, ElleRelated posts:
Barbara Demick
Sunday, 29 May 2011
Mother May
As today is Mother's Day in Sweden I thought I'd write about motherhood today.
In Sweden we're expected to give our parents gifts with smaller celebrations.
When you become a parent through adoption you're supposed to be one in the gang since you too now can be celebrated.
But maybe it's more to it than just that.. I can't be sure seeing that I only have one experience to compare with and that would be the memories from my childhood.
Once many years ago my brother and I was supposed to buy gifts for Mother's Day to mum. The thing is that my brother at that time was very penurious and well he didn't want to spend money on two gifts and two cards. He was adamant that we only bought one card and one gift, we ended up arguing outside in the shopping mall. I managed to convince him that we'd have to buy two cards one from us each. But then two cards and one gift didn't make sense so I was trying to persuade him that we'd have to buy a second gift... Then everything went from bad to worse, he begun to cry and I started getting glares and looks that said what have you done, why is your brother crying...
Dad was forced to inside since we hadn't gotten back from the shopping, I think my brother still was crying when I explained the situation. And once dad had explained to my brother we bought a second gift, two children usually means two gifts.
Mum got a necklace and movie that my brother picked out it was kids movie and one that he wanted to see. I believe it was Nutty Proffesor II...
Yesterday I realized that it's only been 14 days = 2 weeks since I contacted my birth family, so I suppose there's still hope... And I finally has a vaild and fully functional passport.
As expected I decided to bake, but I baked a strawberry cake from scratch , I will post a picture as soon as it is done.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Broken Record
Father's Day
In Sweden we're expected to give our parents gifts with smaller celebrations.
When you become a parent through adoption you're supposed to be one in the gang since you too now can be celebrated.
But maybe it's more to it than just that.. I can't be sure seeing that I only have one experience to compare with and that would be the memories from my childhood.
Once many years ago my brother and I was supposed to buy gifts for Mother's Day to mum. The thing is that my brother at that time was very penurious and well he didn't want to spend money on two gifts and two cards. He was adamant that we only bought one card and one gift, we ended up arguing outside in the shopping mall. I managed to convince him that we'd have to buy two cards one from us each. But then two cards and one gift didn't make sense so I was trying to persuade him that we'd have to buy a second gift... Then everything went from bad to worse, he begun to cry and I started getting glares and looks that said what have you done, why is your brother crying...
Dad was forced to inside since we hadn't gotten back from the shopping, I think my brother still was crying when I explained the situation. And once dad had explained to my brother we bought a second gift, two children usually means two gifts.
Mum got a necklace and movie that my brother picked out it was kids movie and one that he wanted to see. I believe it was Nutty Proffesor II...
Yesterday I realized that it's only been 14 days = 2 weeks since I contacted my birth family, so I suppose there's still hope... And I finally has a vaild and fully functional passport.
As expected I decided to bake, but I baked a strawberry cake from scratch , I will post a picture as soon as it is done.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Broken Record
Father's Day
Saturday, 28 May 2011
Broken Record
It's no secret, some of you may get a catch 22 moment and maybe honestly feel like I'm a broken record. Well so be it, I'm adopted so what did you expect ? Allright, as an adoptee I feel like I have a lot of opinions relating to adoption Korea and Sweden.
But if you feel no one would listen, then I suppose I would start acting like a broken record. It really is a matter of the heart on a more personal way...
My life could honestly be better, it's got potential at least and I'm not sure exactly how I would try to get my message across (other then this blog I mean) although I have a few ideas...
Oh, and tomorrow's Mother's Day, Father's Day is in November... I woke up and was remined that Korea, Japan and maybe also China celebrates both their parents on Parent's Day which might coinside with Teacher's Day and Children's Day which all share the same date... Should I celebrate my Omma and Appa thrice (Swedish Mother & Father's Day, Parents Day and on their birthdays)...
How do you do when you might have the same celebration twice ?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
No More Drama
Don't Push It
On My Own
But if you feel no one would listen, then I suppose I would start acting like a broken record. It really is a matter of the heart on a more personal way...
My life could honestly be better, it's got potential at least and I'm not sure exactly how I would try to get my message across (other then this blog I mean) although I have a few ideas...
Oh, and tomorrow's Mother's Day, Father's Day is in November... I woke up and was remined that Korea, Japan and maybe also China celebrates both their parents on Parent's Day which might coinside with Teacher's Day and Children's Day which all share the same date... Should I celebrate my Omma and Appa thrice (Swedish Mother & Father's Day, Parents Day and on their birthdays)...
How do you do when you might have the same celebration twice ?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
No More Drama
Don't Push It
On My Own
Friday, 27 May 2011
Swedish Sports
As far as I know there are at least two sports activitites that are hugely popular in Sweden. Those would be soccer and ice hockey , and I'm not sure which of them that would be more popular. Ice hockey is a sport that you only play in the Western World as far as I know which means they havn't heard of it in Korea, Asia or the Middle East...
(But this could quite possibly be another prejudice)
If you were to ask a foreigner who Zlatan Ibrahimovic was then they'd probably know it but if you were to ask who Peter Forsberg or Mats Sundin was then you'd probably get no answer.
Who do you think would win between Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Ahn Jung Hwa or between Park Ji Sung and Henrik Larsson ? And personally I'm no soccer fan, believe me but Ki Seung Yong, Cha Duri and Lee Chong Yong has managed to make me more interested in soccer. Yet I'm torn wich team to chear for if Korea and Sweden was in the same division or played against each other.
Blogger is still acting up...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Father's Day
Popular Trend
(But this could quite possibly be another prejudice)
If you were to ask a foreigner who Zlatan Ibrahimovic was then they'd probably know it but if you were to ask who Peter Forsberg or Mats Sundin was then you'd probably get no answer.
Who do you think would win between Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Ahn Jung Hwa or between Park Ji Sung and Henrik Larsson ? And personally I'm no soccer fan, believe me but Ki Seung Yong, Cha Duri and Lee Chong Yong has managed to make me more interested in soccer. Yet I'm torn wich team to chear for if Korea and Sweden was in the same division or played against each other.
Blogger is still acting up...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Father's Day
Popular Trend
Thursday, 26 May 2011
Standing Here On My Own
I can't help but to one and again feel like a broken record, but so be it then - my story (my life) has developed to what is today largely due to my relinquishment and final adoption. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like.. but then I stop myself because I will never know what my life would have looked like since it's nothing but mere speculations.
I have managed to find my birth family and meet them to, which was a multilayered emotion sort of, feeling like you want to burst out in tears while still being the happiest you've ever been. The shock of seeing someone that physically resembles you that my friends is a big emotional shock if you havn't been fortunate enough to grow up with relatives let alone people from the same ethnicity.
Anyhow, I have fulfilled my life long goal yet I thought I would feel happier than I actually do. I realize how complicated it actually can be to be in my posititon.
I have Swedish friends that's adopted too, but somehow they can't relate to my feelings and opinions because they haven't been able or interested in finding their birth parents like me.
So here I am now, completely alone standing here on my own...
Small sidenote relating only to this blog is that I from now on will be using Elle whenever I write or comment, because I don't know who might be reading this. And I would like to be as anonymous as possible if someone from my imidate family might be reading this.. (only as a precaution).
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Catch 22
Whatever
Don't Push
Right Left Right
I have managed to find my birth family and meet them to, which was a multilayered emotion sort of, feeling like you want to burst out in tears while still being the happiest you've ever been. The shock of seeing someone that physically resembles you that my friends is a big emotional shock if you havn't been fortunate enough to grow up with relatives let alone people from the same ethnicity.
Anyhow, I have fulfilled my life long goal yet I thought I would feel happier than I actually do. I realize how complicated it actually can be to be in my posititon.
I have Swedish friends that's adopted too, but somehow they can't relate to my feelings and opinions because they haven't been able or interested in finding their birth parents like me.
So here I am now, completely alone standing here on my own...
Small sidenote relating only to this blog is that I from now on will be using Elle whenever I write or comment, because I don't know who might be reading this. And I would like to be as anonymous as possible if someone from my imidate family might be reading this.. (only as a precaution).
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Catch 22
Whatever
Don't Push
Right Left Right
Wednesday, 25 May 2011
Right Left Right Left Right...
I think I was shocked from all impressions and that's why I valued international adoption negatively. Then it was the opposite I begun to only focus on the positive sides (if there are any). After that I realized I wasn't so radical as I imagined...
Now I think I'm somewhere in the middle which means I don't support inter country adoption as an institution, yet I am aware of what adoption changed my life into.
Is the knowledge of adoption payed with the ultimate price once you either have an epiphany or a feeling that seems to say that you should reject all ties to them.
A few days ago Iceland showed its might again as another volcano erupted and this one is even bigger than last year's, according to experts. Chances are that travel industry will be affected one way or another... Maybe I can't visit Korea this summer afterall... I guess I have to wait and see. Apparently some of Sweden's airports has been closed, figure that. But I suspect the storm isn't over yet...
Right now, I feel totally empty a sideffect from having lived a busy life, where's now I basically have almost nothing to do. Except waiting, life's always about waiting or traveling it seems...
By the way, something's up with Blogger... again...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Exception
Right Or Wrong
Birthday Party
Now I think I'm somewhere in the middle which means I don't support inter country adoption as an institution, yet I am aware of what adoption changed my life into.
Is the knowledge of adoption payed with the ultimate price once you either have an epiphany or a feeling that seems to say that you should reject all ties to them.
A few days ago Iceland showed its might again as another volcano erupted and this one is even bigger than last year's, according to experts. Chances are that travel industry will be affected one way or another... Maybe I can't visit Korea this summer afterall... I guess I have to wait and see. Apparently some of Sweden's airports has been closed, figure that. But I suspect the storm isn't over yet...
Right now, I feel totally empty a sideffect from having lived a busy life, where's now I basically have almost nothing to do. Except waiting, life's always about waiting or traveling it seems...
By the way, something's up with Blogger... again...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Exception
Right Or Wrong
Birthday Party
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
Pineapple Upside Down
Another American cake recepie, and this was my second attempt so you could say it was delicious. And the first cake was better it didn't sink in the middle like this one. I think it was to heavy this time. But the taste was unchanged which is good.
Related posts:
Piece Of Cake
Another Cupcake
Candy Land
Italian Bread
Cake Pops
Cupcake Creation
Monday, 23 May 2011
Don't Push It
I once imagined that I would cut all ties with my adoptive family since I first of all have another birth family, secondly it was due to my reunion. But now I realize I shouldn't push it that far. I'm not a radical, I'd like to keep my adoptive family even though I recently has reconnected or connected with my birth family.
I can't choose between the ones that gave me life and the ones that cared for me, they're equally important to me. To some it seems unimaginable, to other it might seem like I need to make final decision. I'm sorry I can't, maybe that to is not understandable. But the major thing here is that it's my life and I should try to live my life the way I'd like to not the way I think I should. I want to be egoistic in some ways I might seem to in other ways not.
I'm Korean, born not raised and raised in Sweden. I have a lot of Swedishness but also a lot of if not Koreaness then Asianess.
And again I can partially understand why adoptees might feel inclined to cut their adoptive parents off. Believe me I do. I don't blame those that do or thinks negatively about adoption. I can understand why, but as I see it there has to be a very good reason for someone to cut all ties with their families (be it birth family, foster family or adoptive family). In my case there really is no reason that I could think off that would make me want to take step. If I did, I would basically be all alone... so there's a negative, something that never will happen at least not for me. But I don't judge, I wish I could understand better than I currently am able to do.
About my summer trip to Korea everything is starting to fall into place; I'm starting to collect enough money for the ticket and some pocket money. I redid my passport the other last week this time I did everyhting by the book. Of course I could still have used the old passport the one in my old name that is, but then I would have to have booked the tickets in the same name. There's still one small detail missing I need to get confrimation from my birthfamily. Hopefully it will be happening I'm keeping my fingers crossed.. but to stay a month might be stretching it a bit, it's a fairly long time.
Iceland's ashes and vulcano is creating trouble that possibly might force me to delay or even cancel my trip even before my confrimation message or not.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Advice
Final Rebirth
Meaning Of Colours
Continued Legacy
The Wall
The Weil
Adoption vs. Biology
Why Korea
Adoption Day
I can't choose between the ones that gave me life and the ones that cared for me, they're equally important to me. To some it seems unimaginable, to other it might seem like I need to make final decision. I'm sorry I can't, maybe that to is not understandable. But the major thing here is that it's my life and I should try to live my life the way I'd like to not the way I think I should. I want to be egoistic in some ways I might seem to in other ways not.
I'm Korean, born not raised and raised in Sweden. I have a lot of Swedishness but also a lot of if not Koreaness then Asianess.
And again I can partially understand why adoptees might feel inclined to cut their adoptive parents off. Believe me I do. I don't blame those that do or thinks negatively about adoption. I can understand why, but as I see it there has to be a very good reason for someone to cut all ties with their families (be it birth family, foster family or adoptive family). In my case there really is no reason that I could think off that would make me want to take step. If I did, I would basically be all alone... so there's a negative, something that never will happen at least not for me. But I don't judge, I wish I could understand better than I currently am able to do.
About my summer trip to Korea everything is starting to fall into place; I'm starting to collect enough money for the ticket and some pocket money. I redid my passport the other last week this time I did everyhting by the book. Of course I could still have used the old passport the one in my old name that is, but then I would have to have booked the tickets in the same name. There's still one small detail missing I need to get confrimation from my birthfamily. Hopefully it will be happening I'm keeping my fingers crossed.. but to stay a month might be stretching it a bit, it's a fairly long time.
Iceland's ashes and vulcano is creating trouble that possibly might force me to delay or even cancel my trip even before my confrimation message or not.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Advice
Final Rebirth
Meaning Of Colours
Continued Legacy
The Wall
The Weil
Adoption vs. Biology
Why Korea
Adoption Day
Sunday, 22 May 2011
No More Drama
My life up until now has been stabil and peaceful, without any major challenges. But with that said being adopted means that you , speaking from personal experience has a life out of the ordinary, yet a life that's ordinary for you. But there's no way to escape the drama, my life's pretty boring if you ask me but it certainly adds much more drama to be adopted. Yeah, its true all people have their personal struggles and battles to fight, this is just my story.
( I need as litte drama as possible.)
Now when I basically am a grown woman, especially when I'm out with dad in public for example eating out, going to movies et c then I seem to be mistaken for my father's wife instead of his daughter... Yes there are a few Swedish men that marry Asian mail order brides but please, I'm not one of them. I'm a grown up woman, female Korean adoptee.
I've heard that it isn't easy for Korean women in Korea either, they often encounter sexual harassment based solely on their looks and gender. I think that is more common among the carrier women then ordinary Koreans yet I can't be sure.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Epiphany
Return To Sender
Catch 22
( I need as litte drama as possible.)
Now when I basically am a grown woman, especially when I'm out with dad in public for example eating out, going to movies et c then I seem to be mistaken for my father's wife instead of his daughter... Yes there are a few Swedish men that marry Asian mail order brides but please, I'm not one of them. I'm a grown up woman, female Korean adoptee.
I've heard that it isn't easy for Korean women in Korea either, they often encounter sexual harassment based solely on their looks and gender. I think that is more common among the carrier women then ordinary Koreans yet I can't be sure.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Epiphany
Return To Sender
Catch 22
Saturday, 21 May 2011
Easy Conclusions
Living in Sweden as an adoptee and KAD, means that I once in a while encounter immigrants that seems to jump to conclusions or don't understands the adoption concept. The thing with having two families (one that created you and one that raised and cared for you).
Because obviously I can't be Swedish, not really not the way I look, I mean look at me... How can I be Swedish without blue eyes or that blonde fair Scandinavian hair !? To make matters worse what about the fact that I speak fluent Swedish and the culture I know best is European and Swedish.
No, I wasn't born Swedish but I'm still a Swedish citizen and my legal parents are Swedes, I was born in Korea and my birth family are Koreans. But I didn't know any Korean since I only was an infant when I left Korea for Sweden. I've had to relearn Korean in my adult years, which in itself has proved to be quite a challenge.
Ask me anything about Sweden and I'll answer you in seconds, ask me something about Korea and I'll probably answer in a few hours or a day. But don't ask me something in Korean unless you can translate it to English...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Inter Country Adoption
New Era
Adoption Agencies
Unpatriotic Swede
Because obviously I can't be Swedish, not really not the way I look, I mean look at me... How can I be Swedish without blue eyes or that blonde fair Scandinavian hair !? To make matters worse what about the fact that I speak fluent Swedish and the culture I know best is European and Swedish.
No, I wasn't born Swedish but I'm still a Swedish citizen and my legal parents are Swedes, I was born in Korea and my birth family are Koreans. But I didn't know any Korean since I only was an infant when I left Korea for Sweden. I've had to relearn Korean in my adult years, which in itself has proved to be quite a challenge.
Ask me anything about Sweden and I'll answer you in seconds, ask me something about Korea and I'll probably answer in a few hours or a day. But don't ask me something in Korean unless you can translate it to English...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Inter Country Adoption
New Era
Adoption Agencies
Unpatriotic Swede
Friday, 20 May 2011
What's Seoul Again
Apparently Seoul or 서울 isn't a wellknown city (at least not here in Sweden), more people seems to know of 대한민국. So yeah Seoul, that's the name of Korea's capital city... if you didn't know already. Since I'm a KAD , Korean adoptee it says that I'm born in the republik of Korea and to be more precise Seoul. (Of course all Koreans and KADs aren't born in Seoul, it just happens to my birth place.)
South Korea just so happens to be a UN member, WTO, OECD, G - 20, orginal member of APEC as well as the East Asian Summit.
Here's the names of other cities in Korea:
How many birthday celebrations can one person have ? Personally I have my birthday, the day I first arrived to Sweden as well as the day I was reborn.. It's a long story really and I'm not sure if I should or even want to share that with you my presumed readers.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
First Few Days
Korean Nature
Seoul City
South Korea just so happens to be a UN member, WTO, OECD, G - 20, orginal member of APEC as well as the East Asian Summit.
Here's the names of other cities in Korea:
- Busan
- Daegu
- Incheon
- Daejeon
- Gwangju
- Ulsan
- Gyeonggido
- Gangwondo
- Chungcheonbukdo
- Chungcheonnamdo
- Jeollabukgo
- Jeollanamdo
How many birthday celebrations can one person have ? Personally I have my birthday, the day I first arrived to Sweden as well as the day I was reborn.. It's a long story really and I'm not sure if I should or even want to share that with you my presumed readers.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
First Few Days
Korean Nature
Seoul City
Thursday, 19 May 2011
Things You Can't Find In Korea
Below a list of things that's almost impossible to access in Korea
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Korean Food I
Korean Food II
First Few Days
Korean Shopping
Korean Conflict
Made In Korea
Collectivism
Stubborness
Asian Values
- cheese (the hard kind and those French dessert ones like Brie and Camenbert)
- water (sprinkled or regular) it's very expensive since they have to import it
- fruit, really expensive to since they only grow fruit in a an isolated area, which would make the price pretty high
- drinks, snacks and candy are really, really sweet, normal candy, snacks and drinks without that acess sugar
- sandy beaches the ones you see in movies there's as far as I know only sandy beaches at Jejudo Island...
- hygiene articles like deodorants and other kind of necessary things (you can find them but they're expensive)
- kitchen with owen (not really, Koreans don't cook like that as far I know)
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Korean Food I
Korean Food II
First Few Days
Korean Shopping
Korean Conflict
Made In Korea
Collectivism
Stubborness
Asian Values
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Sonnet CXVI
Let's make one thing clear; the changed and removed entries is not my doing. It was blogger's doing not mine, I had no control over what happened.
Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
Shakespeare's Sonnet CXVI
Related posts:
Writer's Dream
About Me
I Know
To Do I
The List
I Shouldn't Have
To Do II
Things I Can't Do
Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
Shakespeare's Sonnet CXVI
Related posts:
Writer's Dream
About Me
I Know
To Do I
The List
I Shouldn't Have
To Do II
Things I Can't Do
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
열 일곱 일 오 년
Today Norway celebrates the famous syttende mai their national day (and yes I know Sweden and Norway are not the same) like South Korea and North Korea possibly.
I think it even is known internationally and while Norway have celebrated their national foundation day for many many decades, Sweden just recently decided to make 시 월십 일6th June a national holiday.
Our Finnish neughbor's defeated us in the Swedish Championship in ice hockey the other day...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts :
Nobel Prize
Fathers Day
Swedish Weather
Happy Easter
I think it even is known internationally and while Norway have celebrated their national foundation day for many many decades, Sweden just recently decided to make 시 월십 일6th June a national holiday.
Our Finnish neughbor's defeated us in the Swedish Championship in ice hockey the other day...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts :
Nobel Prize
Fathers Day
Swedish Weather
Happy Easter
Monday, 16 May 2011
That's What Dreams Are Made Of
The original content in this entry has sadly disappeared and I honestly can't remember it exactly. So this entry has been recreated...
When I was younger I used to say that I draw the line at 이 십년 which means 25 years for those of you who didn't know. Back then 25 felt like a lifetime and I will soon be there... And what have I accomplished honestly not that much, for example I'm no way near a Bachelor Degree despite almost 6 years of University studies.
I later changed the goal for 25 saying that I'd like to 기흐의이어요 with at least one child , however I am presently no way near achiving anything of those goals, to begin with I haven't had a stabil relationship for years, and I'd sort of like that before settling down. Maybe I'm having my 25 year crisis... So please don't take this post too seriously...
My top 10 favorites in Eurovision this year:
Related posts:
Rebirth
Rainbow
Why
Illusion
Precious Moments
Lessons
Devotion
When I was younger I used to say that I draw the line at 이 십년 which means 25 years for those of you who didn't know. Back then 25 felt like a lifetime and I will soon be there... And what have I accomplished honestly not that much, for example I'm no way near a Bachelor Degree despite almost 6 years of University studies.
I later changed the goal for 25 saying that I'd like to 기흐의이어요 with at least one child , however I am presently no way near achiving anything of those goals, to begin with I haven't had a stabil relationship for years, and I'd sort of like that before settling down. Maybe I'm having my 25 year crisis... So please don't take this post too seriously...
My top 10 favorites in Eurovision this year:
- Dino Merlin - Bosnia & Herzegovina (Love In Rewind)
- Sjonni's Friends' - Iceland (Coming Home)
- Blue - United Kingdom ( I Can)
- Anna Rossinelli - Switzerland (In Love For A While)
- A Friend In London - Denmark (New Tomorrow)
- Eldrine - Georgia(One More Day)
- Raphael Gualazzi - Italy (Madness Of Love)
- Kati Wolf - Hungary(What About My Dreams)
- Mika Newton - Ukraine (Angel)
- Lucía Peréz - Spain (They Can't Take The Fun Away From Me)
- Ireland - Jedward (Lipstick)
- Greece - Loucas Yourkas feat.Stereo Mike (Watch My Dance)
- Moldova - Zdob si Zdub (So Lucky)
- Estonia - Getter Jani (Rockefeller Street)
- Ukraine - Mika Newton (Angel)
- Iceland - Sjonni's Friends' (Coming Home)
By the way the winner of Eurovision 2011 was Azerbaijan's Ell/Nikki Running Scared followed by Italy as runnerup with Raphael Gualazzi and his song Madness of Love
closely followed by Sweden's Eric Saade and his song Popular. This means that Sweden will have qualified directly to Eurovision (if I'm not mistaken).
Rebirth
Rainbow
Why
Illusion
Precious Moments
Lessons
Devotion
Sunday, 15 May 2011
Adoption Day
The 11th May is Adoption Day in Korea (not be confused with adoption celebration days) it's not the same. 오 월 십일일 is the Korean government's attempt to promote domestic adoption over inter country adoption.
On the very same day:
Social Discrimination
Inter Country Adoption
Don't
Swedish Agencies
Challenge
Separation
Adoption Feels
Fourth Separation
No Ending
Not For Everyone
Adoption Circle
Perfect Adoptee
On the very same day:
- 1099 years ago (912) Alexander became Emperor of Byzantine
- 509 years ago (1502) Cristopher Columbus made his final voyage to the West Indies
- 266 years ago (1746) War of Austrian Succession and the battle at Fontenoy
- 153 years ago (1858) Minnesota was declared the 32nd State
- 87 years ago (1924) Mercedes Benz was established by Daimler and Benz
- Salvador Dali was born 107 years ago (1904)
- Alvar Aalto died 35 years ago (1976)
- Nisga'a Day
- National Technology Day in India
Social Discrimination
Inter Country Adoption
Don't
Swedish Agencies
Challenge
Separation
Adoption Feels
Fourth Separation
No Ending
Not For Everyone
Adoption Circle
Perfect Adoptee
Saturday, 14 May 2011
Abstract Art
The first picture represents the three different time periods in an adoptee's life (me). The green colour on the upper part represents the life I had before being born and the little time I spent there. The green colour on the lower part represents the now. The first black dot represents my past, the second dot the now (current time) the last dot stands for the future.
This orange picture represents three different groups, the two circles in the left represents my adoptive parents, the smaller circle in the middle that's me (the adoptee) and the circles to the right is my birth family.
Don't count the circles and think you'll know how big my birth family actually is. It's just an illustration and an art piece. I'm not sure if this really count as art (maybe it does) it's basically two illustrations of my life as an adoptee more than Korean adoptee, but yeah I'm a Korean adoptee in case you didn't know.
I seem to have lost a few posts that I already published, unfortunately I can't get them back...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Good Days
Friday, 13 May 2011
Whatever
Some days ago I finally decided to get myself a valid passport in my new legal name that is.
Everything was fine until I was to sign it with my signature I somehow accidentally forgot to add my surname...
A few minutes later I went back to the police station to ask what I should do. First they had trouble believing that someone actually missed out their surname. Then they had to call and ask what to do, and I had already payed 400 SEK, and they informed I had to make another one.
When I informed them that I would be going overseas (oh really) then they said it's just a signature, how you sign your name. You can still use it, we've never encountered this problem before it should work.
Of course you apply for a passport if you intend to travel overseas and somehow I doubt I will be able to go outside Europe with my incorrect passport.
And I would really hate it if I was able to travel from Arlanda to my inter connected flight and then end up being stuck either in Bejing or Quatar. So no I think I will pay to redo my passport because I will need a passport anyways even if I don't go to Korea this year. What if I was told to come, they started longing and preparing for my stay and then my trip ended already at the airport, if I actually was able to use that new passport.
My personal name is offically three parts... and I know it's next to impossible to forget your surname, but I've only used my new personal name for a few months. Since December or maybe it was January... can't be sure I can't remember.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Identity Rambles
Blame
Don't Cry
Emotional Change
Tears
Randomness
Catch 22
Everything was fine until I was to sign it with my signature I somehow accidentally forgot to add my surname...
A few minutes later I went back to the police station to ask what I should do. First they had trouble believing that someone actually missed out their surname. Then they had to call and ask what to do, and I had already payed 400 SEK, and they informed I had to make another one.
When I informed them that I would be going overseas (oh really) then they said it's just a signature, how you sign your name. You can still use it, we've never encountered this problem before it should work.
Of course you apply for a passport if you intend to travel overseas and somehow I doubt I will be able to go outside Europe with my incorrect passport.
And I would really hate it if I was able to travel from Arlanda to my inter connected flight and then end up being stuck either in Bejing or Quatar. So no I think I will pay to redo my passport because I will need a passport anyways even if I don't go to Korea this year. What if I was told to come, they started longing and preparing for my stay and then my trip ended already at the airport, if I actually was able to use that new passport.
My personal name is offically three parts... and I know it's next to impossible to forget your surname, but I've only used my new personal name for a few months. Since December or maybe it was January... can't be sure I can't remember.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Identity Rambles
Blame
Don't Cry
Emotional Change
Tears
Randomness
Catch 22
Thursday, 12 May 2011
Things I Cannot Do
- open a bakery or seek employment as chef, baker or pastry chef
- start training to become a chef, baker or pastry chef
- become a succer player or play outdoor sports
- become a florist, I sneeze far too much and a florist with hay fever... well wouldn't think so.
Of course one might say that should not make such a list since I'm basically not supposed to be nagging since I'm adopted. But even so I do of course realize the significant difference in our lifes, sometimes I wonder what with have looked like, how would it have felt to grow up with many siblings instead of in a small knit family.
Oh, who cares such thoughts results in nothing of importance really... But I know one thing the life I was given because of adoption couldn't be any more different if I compare it with my siblings. And I know for a fact that this list would have looked bigger would I have been raised in Korea.
This post has finally been published.. blogger has been down.
I just realized that a couple of my already published entries has been removed, sorry for that. It's none of my doing.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Future Plans
Things I Do
Wednesday, 11 May 2011
Amore
Translation:
Amor vincit omnia, Ab imo pectore, Sine amore, nihil est vita, Si vis amari, ama,Amor caecus est, Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur, Numquam periit amor, Eis quos amo
Love conquers all..., From the bottom of my heart..., Without love life is pointless...,If you wish to be loved, love...., Love is blind.., We choose to love we do not choose to cease loving..., Love never dies..., To those that I love...,
All of the above quotes summarize exactly how I feel being adopted but more so how I feel about my birth family. Like my heart's about to burst open really, but I also know that if I was to cut all ties with my adoptive family the consequences would be to high. Basically my entire life wouldn't be worth anything, nothing at all. But most importantly I love my adoptive family and I can't imagine a life without them as much as I try to think of a life without my birth family. Sadly the latter seems to be easier to accept...
I mean for years I only used to have fragmented sentences on a paper, only the knowledge of them. How old my supposed siblings were and how many and so, birth dates and more. For years I didn't have that but now I also have their faces and actually met them to.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
More Love
Ab Imo Pectore
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Step Forward
I wrote an entry some time ago about the economic development in Korea ... This would mean it would be likely that Korean (inter country) adoption might decrease in the near future and eventually cease. But I guess it's a long time left, changes don't happen over night.
The change would seem to become even more apparent once domestic adoption within Korea increase which it already is starting to show signs off...
This would mean that less Western people would be able to adopt Korean children, which means they either had to choose between another country or decide to try IVF treatments and alike. Not that I'm an expert in this area. In India for example you can choose a young woman to carry the child for you. (this is not really what this post is about, and well it's discusting I'd say since you basically take advantage of the poor and often vulnerable women.
I personally don't like inter country adoption no matter what the circumstances. Yet I realize what it has given me and at the same time forced me to give up, my life might be better seen in Western standards but also lonelier and maybe also emptier. I'm not sure, all I know is that I felt incomplete before last summer but I'm still confussed.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Complete Fullfilment
Weil
Comparison Game
Gratefulness
Perfect Adoptee
The change would seem to become even more apparent once domestic adoption within Korea increase which it already is starting to show signs off...
This would mean that less Western people would be able to adopt Korean children, which means they either had to choose between another country or decide to try IVF treatments and alike. Not that I'm an expert in this area. In India for example you can choose a young woman to carry the child for you. (this is not really what this post is about, and well it's discusting I'd say since you basically take advantage of the poor and often vulnerable women.
I personally don't like inter country adoption no matter what the circumstances. Yet I realize what it has given me and at the same time forced me to give up, my life might be better seen in Western standards but also lonelier and maybe also emptier. I'm not sure, all I know is that I felt incomplete before last summer but I'm still confussed.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Complete Fullfilment
Weil
Comparison Game
Gratefulness
Perfect Adoptee
Monday, 9 May 2011
Perfect Adoptee
I should never let me guard down, people always disapoints me. Why should I let myself be fooled from to time... !? No, I will trust in no one or rather continue the trust the few people that actually care about me. Otherwise I will be disapointed ever time and yes I'm usually to nice for my own good. And that's it, I'm no more Mr Nice guy let me tell you.
I know that there are adoptive parents that rejects the first offer of a child that they are given, which could be for a number of reasons. But again that to me seems very selfish, why? Usually the woman and expecting mother gets no knowledge of presumed illnesses or disabilities that that child may have, there are exceptions of course and then the mother is usually given the choice between keeping the child or an abortion.
Of course caring for a disabled child may be an even greater responsibility and if that's the reason for rejecting a child than I might be more prone to accept it, than if you're simply turning someone down because of wrong gender (especially for multiple/twin/triplets).
Usually if it would have been an ordinary pregnancy the expecting mother wouldn't know beforehand about future and likely illnesses and disabilites unless it's genetic. And again, I'm sorry to say that it seems like birth mothers are more likely to keep a disabled child or chronically ill child instead of surrendering their parental rights.
I'm aware of the fact that I might be biased yet again... Can adoptive parents really afford to be picky and wait for the perfect child ? Is there such a thing as a perfect or desired child?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Experience
Expectations
Birthday Party
What Not
I know that there are adoptive parents that rejects the first offer of a child that they are given, which could be for a number of reasons. But again that to me seems very selfish, why? Usually the woman and expecting mother gets no knowledge of presumed illnesses or disabilities that that child may have, there are exceptions of course and then the mother is usually given the choice between keeping the child or an abortion.
Of course caring for a disabled child may be an even greater responsibility and if that's the reason for rejecting a child than I might be more prone to accept it, than if you're simply turning someone down because of wrong gender (especially for multiple/twin/triplets).
Usually if it would have been an ordinary pregnancy the expecting mother wouldn't know beforehand about future and likely illnesses and disabilites unless it's genetic. And again, I'm sorry to say that it seems like birth mothers are more likely to keep a disabled child or chronically ill child instead of surrendering their parental rights.
I'm aware of the fact that I might be biased yet again... Can adoptive parents really afford to be picky and wait for the perfect child ? Is there such a thing as a perfect or desired child?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Experience
Expectations
Birthday Party
What Not
Sunday, 8 May 2011
Ab Imo Pectore
I wish more than anything that I would be able to go back to Korea, some time soon. And not just go to Korea for seightseeing but to see my family... That's my one wish, my ab imo pectore... Until I get a reply from my birth family I don't dare to hope that I'll be back in Korea in just a few months time. I've already started looking at tickets but I dare not make my next move which would be to book an airplane from Sweden to Korea.
Also I don't want to get my hopes up in case my family are engaged elsewhere, who knows what plans they might have made. I dare not be to demanding, there's already so many mistakes I wish I could undo or at least put back to normal.
Ab Imo Pectore...,
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Chuseok
Future Plans
Catch 22
Also I don't want to get my hopes up in case my family are engaged elsewhere, who knows what plans they might have made. I dare not be to demanding, there's already so many mistakes I wish I could undo or at least put back to normal.
Ab Imo Pectore...,
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Chuseok
Future Plans
Catch 22
Saturday, 7 May 2011
Friday, 6 May 2011
On And On
The story never ends here's another post of mine with a somewhat short summary of my personal experience. Especially dealing with healthcare and fundamental knowledge that adoptees often lack.
It might be folish but I'm hoping to visit Korea this year or possibly the next year and if all else fails then I should hope for 2013. In two years time. That's a really long time which is why I fear that the longer I put it on hold the more likely it is that my second trip to the land of the morning calm never may materialize...
I few days ago I spent approximately three hours trying to type a letter in hangul, consisting of 8 short sentences. I managed to write complete sentences yet I fear that the grammar mistakes are many and also that you might not understand what I tried to write. The languge barrier seems to disappear and re-appear when you least expect it.
My knowledge in Korean so far is not at the level I would like it to be at and honestly I know I should have built up a higher knowledge in it by now but not speaking in Korean a daily basis means I only remember it once I'm in class and seriously struggle the rest of the time. But hopefully I'll be able to use my Korean knowledge in a better way once I do decide to visit again.
I could decide not to put myself through this daily experience but I endure it all since I finally know where I come from, still trying to figure out who I am. Adoptees losses many things like the ones I mentioned yet what we get in return are the unaviodable sense of quite a many things. Language barriers, cultural clashes and almost daily misunderstandings. I could easilly write more about this topic but I'll stop there this time.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Omma
한글
Challenge
감사합니다
Citizenship
Korean Language
언니
It might be folish but I'm hoping to visit Korea this year or possibly the next year and if all else fails then I should hope for 2013. In two years time. That's a really long time which is why I fear that the longer I put it on hold the more likely it is that my second trip to the land of the morning calm never may materialize...
I few days ago I spent approximately three hours trying to type a letter in hangul, consisting of 8 short sentences. I managed to write complete sentences yet I fear that the grammar mistakes are many and also that you might not understand what I tried to write. The languge barrier seems to disappear and re-appear when you least expect it.
My knowledge in Korean so far is not at the level I would like it to be at and honestly I know I should have built up a higher knowledge in it by now but not speaking in Korean a daily basis means I only remember it once I'm in class and seriously struggle the rest of the time. But hopefully I'll be able to use my Korean knowledge in a better way once I do decide to visit again.
I could decide not to put myself through this daily experience but I endure it all since I finally know where I come from, still trying to figure out who I am. Adoptees losses many things like the ones I mentioned yet what we get in return are the unaviodable sense of quite a many things. Language barriers, cultural clashes and almost daily misunderstandings. I could easilly write more about this topic but I'll stop there this time.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Omma
한글
Challenge
감사합니다
Citizenship
Korean Language
언니
Thursday, 5 May 2011
Olympic Stadium And Star Street
Please enjoy this pictures from Korea's Olympic Stadium and Star Street... Happy Children's Day and Parent Day, which also is celebrated in Japan and maybe China too...
Related posts:
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
Catch 22
There's a glimmer of hope I might, just might be able to visit Korea for a second time really soon. Maybe. Hopefully. Sort of likely.
Of course I would have to make all neccessary arrangeements (like confirming with my siblings which dates I should come and where I should live... And for how long.) Maybe on Chuseok 2011 (which is on 12th September this year). Lasting until 15th September meaning 3 days payed holiday. Or til Korean New Year.
As much as I can't wait to go there I'm also afraid of going there myself, would it hurt my adoptive parents if I did .. Honestly though my Omma and Appa aren't that young anymore and I would like to visit Korea at least once more, to meet my birth parents.
This time I'm sure I will not get cold feet, we're no longer strangers yet we don't know each other that well yet. Because 10 months time is not that long, 10 months out 20 + years that's not very long time. Approximately it's the equivalent of the time I spent inside my mother , before being born. In a way you could say the reunion trip was like a second pregnancy with me.
Hopefully it will be less of a catch 22 although this entire experience has been something unknown and unfamiliar yet also very much catch 22. I really don't want to relive the past summer, although it was what enabled us all to get this far.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Advice
Reasons
Challenge
Illusion
Of course I would have to make all neccessary arrangeements (like confirming with my siblings which dates I should come and where I should live... And for how long.) Maybe on Chuseok 2011 (which is on 12th September this year). Lasting until 15th September meaning 3 days payed holiday. Or til Korean New Year.
As much as I can't wait to go there I'm also afraid of going there myself, would it hurt my adoptive parents if I did .. Honestly though my Omma and Appa aren't that young anymore and I would like to visit Korea at least once more, to meet my birth parents.
This time I'm sure I will not get cold feet, we're no longer strangers yet we don't know each other that well yet. Because 10 months time is not that long, 10 months out 20 + years that's not very long time. Approximately it's the equivalent of the time I spent inside my mother , before being born. In a way you could say the reunion trip was like a second pregnancy with me.
Hopefully it will be less of a catch 22 although this entire experience has been something unknown and unfamiliar yet also very much catch 22. I really don't want to relive the past summer, although it was what enabled us all to get this far.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Advice
Reasons
Challenge
Illusion
Tuesday, 3 May 2011
Looking In
I'm caught in between, in a weird way - I have a family that I share genetics and past with more than anything else. But I havn't shared my childhood, teenage years with them. That family my first family, they have my past and to some extent my future.
My second and current family had my childhood and my teens, that period is a period of my life which I don't want to remember that much. Why live in the past !?
I'm not Korean nor Swedish at best I'm an expat Korean, or immigrated Swede. But I've already covered the last one, so no this time my answer is that I'm an expatriate Korean. One that have no knowledge of Korean history, traditions, religions or society.
The small percentages and pieces that I managed to learn I've learned over the past five years, and that is only a small fraction of an ancient nation's proud history.
Yet I have to be realistic even if I learn Korean, I will not be like them no matter how hard I try.
Of course I would be able to vote and seek employment in Korea if I were to seek dual citizenship. The thought of that is honestly really tempting to me, but on the other hand I don't really know what the consequences would become. If I do become a dual Korean citizen or whatever you may call it, will I no longer be able to call myself a KAD?
Or maybe my two families have 50 % each of my future and the now, sadly my first family at times seems to have even less. But I wish they had 50 % each, because that seems fair, since I don't want to forget the people who raised me and ultimately made who I am.
But the reunion and more importantly adoption, meant that I also was a product or item created by my first parents, so in wa way they helped shape me because they made me live.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Appreciation
Change Of Heart
Rainbow
Legacy
Deep Down
Satisfaction
Chosen
My second and current family had my childhood and my teens, that period is a period of my life which I don't want to remember that much. Why live in the past !?
I'm not Korean nor Swedish at best I'm an expat Korean, or immigrated Swede. But I've already covered the last one, so no this time my answer is that I'm an expatriate Korean. One that have no knowledge of Korean history, traditions, religions or society.
The small percentages and pieces that I managed to learn I've learned over the past five years, and that is only a small fraction of an ancient nation's proud history.
Yet I have to be realistic even if I learn Korean, I will not be like them no matter how hard I try.
Of course I would be able to vote and seek employment in Korea if I were to seek dual citizenship. The thought of that is honestly really tempting to me, but on the other hand I don't really know what the consequences would become. If I do become a dual Korean citizen or whatever you may call it, will I no longer be able to call myself a KAD?
Or maybe my two families have 50 % each of my future and the now, sadly my first family at times seems to have even less. But I wish they had 50 % each, because that seems fair, since I don't want to forget the people who raised me and ultimately made who I am.
But the reunion and more importantly adoption, meant that I also was a product or item created by my first parents, so in wa way they helped shape me because they made me live.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Appreciation
Change Of Heart
Rainbow
Legacy
Deep Down
Satisfaction
Chosen
Monday, 2 May 2011
Under The Loving Care Of The Fatherly Leader
Related posts:Nothing To Envy
Pop Korea
Somewhere Inside
Korean Slang
Great Leader Dear Leader
Sunday, 1 May 2011
Walpurgis Night
Happy Walpurgis Night this night day is celebrated because of the spring arrival. People in Sweden also used to demonstrate often it was different worker Unions as well as other Organizations and Unions.
And before we started celebrating the Swedish Nation Day, Walpurgis Night was without no doubt the biggest Swedish holiday we had, apart from Midsummer of course.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Cinnemon Bun Day
Nobel Prize
Jean Baptiste
Father's Day
Swedish Politicians
And before we started celebrating the Swedish Nation Day, Walpurgis Night was without no doubt the biggest Swedish holiday we had, apart from Midsummer of course.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Cinnemon Bun Day
Nobel Prize
Jean Baptiste
Father's Day
Swedish Politicians
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)