Wednesday 29 February 2012

Seoul Part IV


Here's the promised pictures from last year, gosh it's already so long ago it feels like yesterday or maybe ages ago, in another life time... Anyways here's a random selection of old and new things from Seoul. ^^










© Taste of Kimchi, Elle


Related posts:


Seoul Part I

Seoul Part II

Seoul Part III

Tuesday 28 February 2012

Lonely Life

Ace Of Base - Lonely Life

Ironically this used to be one of my favorite songs in my teens, I get a bit nostalgic whenever I here it. And Ace Of Base is Swedish group...


© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Monday 27 February 2012

I Have A Dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take future even if you fail
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

http://www.lyrics007.com/Abba%20Lyrics/I%20Have%20A%20Dream%20Lyrics.html

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Name Of The Game

I Do I Do I Do

The Winner Takes It All

Sunday 26 February 2012

Cleansing Cream

Cleansing Cream - Brown Eyed Girls



 When I first learned about this song I thought it was some kind of commercial for some makeup remover... But it's actually a song by Brown Eyed Girls.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Saturday 25 February 2012

Korean Family

For those of you who may not have followed this blog I thought I would present my Korean family, my first family...

Oppa, he's the one who's always up to something. He used to be farmer and was once employed by the state.
Omma, I always think's mad or angry but I guess it's how she talks.. She started working after the Collegestudent were born.

Older Unni, she the oldest and she's married with two children.
Brave Unni, she's the second one, she choose to live her family and to get a better life.
Working Unni, she's always working and very busy. She's the third one. Working Unni and Brave Unni helped take care of Older Unni's children.
Kind Unni,she's the fourth one, I know her the best. She has very kind eyes. She's married like Older Unni and Brave Unni. Kind Unni took care of Pretty Unni, Trendy Unni and the Collegestudent while Omma and Appa were working.
Pretty Unni, she's the fifth one she seems to be very busy and working a lot.
Trendy Unni, she's the sixth one she's a lot with Pretty Unni and she shares a flat with Working Unni and Pretty Unni.

The College Student, he's my namdongsaeng (meaning my younger brother) He studies somewhere else, none of my siblings lives with Umma and Appa anymore... That's my Korean family, my first family; who I love tremendously.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Letters


F4-Visa

Friday 24 February 2012

Udamu

Just like Sung Bong Choi there are others just like him, people that may have tragic past but somehow strive to reach their dream.. And one of those is Udamu a Mongolian orphan boy, he aditioned on China's Got Talent a few years ago and his story is just as tragic. He lost his mother in a car accident and a few years later his father was also taken from him.


It's a Mongolian song he sings and he sings it for his late mother, I think it's really touching and tragic. Even though I cannot understand what he sings his voice and singing are truely amazing!


© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Susan Boyle

Thursday 23 February 2012

I Surrender

Quit Playing Games With My Heart - Backstreet Boys


As an adoptee I really feel like this song is spot on, summarizes how it can feel to love somebody who never really was yours to start with - speaking of my birth family.

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Expectations

Written Letters

Meaning Of Life


Wednesday 22 February 2012

Why Should I

Most people in there 20s something settle down - gets married and have a couple of kids.

It's what everyboy does
wrong it's what many people choose, I'm not saying that it's wrong but it's just not on my agenda any time soon.
More women these are happy too be singles and finds other ways of fullfilling there lives. To settle down and raise a family it's what most people may do but it's not something that should be taken lightly.

My dad once told me that it's allright to be single, and I guess I like the benefits of my single life far too much. I especially enjoy my freedom and the independence it entails.

Also, my dad said it's allright if I never have children or never marries somebody, it might be selfish but it's what I've choosen out of convenience more then anything and now I'm just to accustomed to want to sacrifice my independence because I enjoy it far too much to simply give it up.

 So yes, it may be selfish too want to move abroad but many people delibrately choose to do but at least  I'm not hurting anybody. But just because my main goal is to move abroad it doesn't have to exclude the possibility of me settling down and some day raising a family of my own. But it's not something I long for right now, I'm perfectly content with life as it is and I wouldn't like too change it. Of course I'm going to lie, life would significantly improve if I would be able to get on a plan back to Korea today - but such a big decision requires time and planning.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Meaning


F4-Visa

Tuesday 21 February 2012

F4-Visa And Then What

I have just been aquainted with Korea the Land of The Morning Calm and I anticipate a lifelong lovestory and passion. As of right now the plan is to save enough money so that I one day could stay in Korea for 3 consecutive months and then apply for the F4 Visa.

After that I don't know what I would do, I might apply for a dual Korean citizenship after that. But things can change. Yet my love for my first family and the love I feel for my birth country is eternal and unthreathened by nothing. I still havn't abandoned that dream and why should I ? It's something I've always felt like I wanted do as soon as I got knowledge of the special conditions for Korean adoptees which would make it possible for people just like myself to regain our citizenship. I know it's a pretty big dream but I don't care it's important to have goals and aspirations in life. But I have to confess that I'm a little worried about how my first family would react once I told them if and when I decided to realize my plans...

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Expectations

Meaning

Monday 20 February 2012

Korea's Susan Boyle

Instead of an entry about the Swedish Semmeldag, which is tomorrow I thought I'd like to share something else completely different and unrelated to cooking... I might not be baking as often but we'll have to see about that...

I realize this is a bit old but this guy has an amazing voice and determination. And yes it's Sung Bong Choi, he used to be a homeless orphan boy but now he has held several concerts. 



And yes before I forget, this week pupils begins their one week school break it's an annual tradition. It's called Sportlov in Swedish which means you can you use the school break to enjoy out door activities or travel. 

And in a few days the annual book sale will start again... Much to look forward to.


© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Sunday 19 February 2012

Kite Flying

For many people Kite flying might not be viewed as a sport per say maybe more of a leisure activity - something to do during the warm summer days with the children. But fact is that Kite Flying is considered a big sport in Korea especially but also Asia.

Kites can be seen in Korea during Lunar New Year as well as Chuseok , the original kites were made of bamboo sticks and traditional Korean newspaper. During my last stay in Korea I did see some kites around Chuseok so Korea is still loyal to its ancient traditions despite the fact that it is a leading economy in Asia with a high technology development and brands.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Material Arts

Saturday 18 February 2012

Meaning Of Life

The first reunion which took place in 2010 was everything that I ever imagined, think of what you've seen on TV... It was almost exactly like that, the anticipation, anexity and nervousness was something I never felt before, I don't think I ever will experience such a feeling ever again. That time I went with my mama and papa but as usually happens when I'm around my parents I ended up taking the backseat allowing or forcing my mum and dad to take control of things. It also felt like I would betray them by siding with my parents and my older siblings.  I wanted to eat the cake while having it too, if you get my drift.

That's why it was not only easy but neccessary to return to Korea on my own, because I'm convinced that if I hadn't or choosen to go with someone else the experience would look very different... And maybe I still would have felt empty, sad and lost without a purpose or goal. Now I'm not only happy but also know what I want in life. I will not apologize for my dream, I will not give up, compromise or replace my dream not until I've tried it... If don't decide to try it out I might never know and I would most likely regret that I didn't make a decision to try living there. Maybe it will turn out not to be my dream or goal in life, but that's allright because then I would at least know and I wouldn't have to wonder about what could have been...

Don't tell my it's impossible, unreachable, can't be done because who are you tell me how to live my life !? 

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

Friday 17 February 2012

North Korean Adoption Act


Apparently it seems like Americans might be able to adopt North Korean children, at least they're thinking about doing it. And if this bill gets passed it may be theoretically possible. Can't decide what I think about though...

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Seightseeing

Take On Me

Thursday 16 February 2012

Inspirational Quotes

Believe you can and you're halfway there - Theodore Roosevelt.
 Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. Non-being is the greatest joy. - Lao Tzu 
Mankind is made great or little by its own will - Friedrich Schiller 
 Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. - Nido Qubein
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Motivational Quotes

Wednesday 15 February 2012

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna Matata - Piggy Dolls


Yesterday I didn't do anything special, I went to my Korean class... I told you I'm learning Korean, right ? 

This a really happy song and if don't worry as much maybe we can dare to try to become happy. Happiness starts from within, a smile and some positive thinking. That's all you need, you don't need money, a certain someone or material things. 

괜 찮이, 한국어를 배우고있어요. 

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Tuesday 14 February 2012

Infertility

I know it's Valentine's Day, but since I dont' celebrate it I thought it would be fitting with a clip about infertility from Adoptedthemovie. Because generally speaking people fall in love , get married and have children...


The most common reason behind intercountry adoption is a selfish need, of course being infertile can't be fun. But most people that I know choose adoption because they had a need to become parents no matter what, they didn't think let's help a child in need and do a good deed...

I can't say for sure if all adoptive parents automatically becomes good and capable parents. I don't think so. And what if the adoptive parents later manages to become biological parents will they make a difference in their adopted child/children and the biological ones ? What about the love will they love their biological child more then the one that was adopted ?

I would personally prefer staying childless if that is my faith then to adopt a child myself, because the child in question is never asked what it would want... I know just how much adoption can influence and what impact it can have on your life. 

©Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Lifetime

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Excerpt

Monday 13 February 2012

Written Letters

I don't know what's common to do when you're suddenly in active reunion.. Do you send pictures, letters or gifts to your relatives, parents or siblings... And what about visits then... I mean once you've found them there must be some change in how you do things... Mustn't it...

Of course it's not easy especially not if you're forced to rely on a second language and translator or social worker... For three years or so now I have sent birthday cards and occassional gifts to my siblings and parents, I don't mind doing it because it makes me happy because I know it makes my family happy to get that proof of recognition, because it's what it is.

This of course means that I must keep track on all the dates and ages of my Korean family members and it's many birthday cards to send. But don't get me wrong I love sending them, but it's a little annoying that I usually don't get to know if the gifts or letters I've sent ever reaches it's destination... It's not costumary to that in Korea, you don't even open gifts in front of somebody or even mention them.

Also once in a while my siblings ask me if I have a boyfriend or if I'm still single.. Well I'm still single and happy, living my life. It couldn't be better to tell you the truth. I guess my Korean parents might have asked me to get married if it weren't for the fact that I dont' even have a boyfriend and three of my older sisters are still unmarried if not single. If they all were married they may have sounded differently... I don't want to settle for the first guy that comes along unless I really care about that person... Maybe that's why I don't date, you can still be young and having fun living your life without feeling the pressure from society, friends and family...

Luckily for me my family as well as my Korean family all seem to really want the best for me, I know they would be the first ones to congratulate me once or if I ever marry... Should I ever marry the guy needs to treat me nicely and be kind to me or else... I think maybe they have realized things I still struggle with, the thing about being adopted and wanting to reconnnect with your birthculture only to realize that you don't share the same mentality. So maybe I'm naive.

©Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Sunday 12 February 2012

Mama's Girl

Mama -  Spice Girls

This song is for my Umma, I miss the time that was stolen from us; basically my entire life give or take 10 years or so. 어머니는 사랑해요.  

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Saturday 11 February 2012

Sixth Sense

Sixth Sense - Brown Eyed Girls


Weither or not you have a good sixth sense or not this preformance by Brown Eyed Girls is really something !!!

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Friday 10 February 2012

Expectations

I really want to move back to Korea, the country of my birth in order to give my first family a real chance to get to know me and to form a lasting and deeper bond. But that might not be without complications since Korea is a country with group identity while I was raised in Sweden under individual principles.

Maybe they'll ask me to change my way of dressing, what to eat and et.c maybe even about who I should marry. But to be honest marriage isn't on the agenda just yet not even in my head. And I seriously don't think they'd dare to ask me to just marry someone just for the sake of marriage. Then again they are Korean afterall and if and when I've decided on my next move they'll probably like me to become more like them in order to fit in more than anything... But nowadays some Koreans do marry someone outside Korea, some Korean men are forced to marry Asian women (not Koreans). While some Korean women decide to find themselves a Western man... So Korea is changing too...

How far would you be willing to go in order to make your birth family proud ? How far should adoptees go in order to get accepted by their first families ? What's to far and where should you draw the line? Are Korean adoptees supposed to study Korean (if they want to get to know their birth family) and do they have to erase their childhood and memories once reunited ? Are you supposed to just forget what's been ?

Would you settle for someone who says that like you when you know that they don't and that you deserve better?


  1. I want to live in South Korea 
  2. I wish I could speak Korean fluently
  3. I hope to move to South Korea in a few years time
  4. I will not go on a date just because someone wants to date me
  5. I don't need a man to take care of myself 
  6. I don't want a man just because you're supposed to be like everybody else
  7. I am trying to get a degree from my University studies
  8. I am trying to find fulltime employment
  9. If I'd like to settle down I know for a fact I'd rather be childless then to adopt myself
  10. I'm not sure if I ever would like to get married
Maybe I'll think differently about some things in a few years time, but I know that some opinions will not change...

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Reunion Reflection


Crossroads

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Thursday 9 February 2012

Wednesday 8 February 2012

Yearly Greetings In Korean

새해 복많이 받세요! Happy New Year !!!
생일축하밥니다! Happy Valentine's Day
발렌타인축하해요! Happy Birthday !!!
생일 하이트데이! Happy White Day !!!
머리크리스마스! Merry Christmas !!!

The more I stay in Sweden it seems I might only experience creepy and weird things, things that makes me like to live her less then I already do. Of course my life has been good, I'm not complaining at all but now it seems like my lovestory with Sweden is about to reach its end. Or either I have to change in order to don't get this weird and unwanted experiences... I'm really not sure not anymore. I wish I could live Sweden soon, even today but I can't not right now. I know it will not be easy to leave Korea for Sweden ... but it's what I want and I will let nobody stop me from realizing my dream. I am still young, I'd like to experience life before I might settle down and possibly start a family. I won't settle for less I'd hate myself to death if I allowed someone to trick me into something just for their own good not because of love but because of what they wanted from me.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Tuesday 7 February 2012

Feminism Quotes

When men attempts bold gestures it's generally considered romantic. When women do it, it's often considered desperate or psycho - Sarah Jessica Parker.
Women with pasts interests men because men hope history will repeat itself - Mae West.
Most men lead lives in quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them - Henry David Thoreau.
I wish someone would have told that, just because I am a girl, I don't need to get married - Marlo Thomas.
Women are the only suppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their enemy - Evelyn Cunningham.
A man has every season while a woman only has her Spring - Jane Fonda.
To tell a woman everything she cannot do is to tell her everything she can do - Spanish proverb. 
Feminism is dated yes ? Yes for priviliged women like my daughter and all of us here today, but not for most of our sistersin the rest of the world who are still forced into premature marriage, prostitution, forced labour - they have children that don't want or cannot feed - Isabel Allende.
The young women in my classes are feisty and clever and believe, often with passion of youthful optimism that feminism is a battle already won. I worry for them - and for my daughters too - Louise Brown.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Monday 6 February 2012

Take On Me


North Koreans preforming a cover on Aha's Take On Me .

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Sunday 5 February 2012

Sisters

Sisters - Spice Girls

I can't help but to think of my Unnis when I here this song. 언니학이는 사랑해요 ! 

I almost made a big mistake, it could have been worse... I let someone persuade me to do something I never intended to in the first place... But more then anything else I'm angry and disappointed in myself, why I'd let myself be persuaded so easily..

©Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Saturday 4 February 2012

Crossroads

My first family, siblings even Umma and Appa can't possibly have any recollection of me, you see I was born in a hospital and then immediately placed for adoption. Prior to my birth my Onnis had no knowledge of me and my upcoming birth. Umma was later at some point told that I was stillborn, and when Appa finally knew of my whereabouts it was to late. I had already left the country for Europe and Sweden...

25 years and a few months later I finally know what I want to do with my life, I want nothing else then to move back to Korea permanentely not because my first family demanded, requested or asked me to do that. They have never even talked about that possibility maybe because they are older and wiser , realize things that I am yet unaware of... But still it's what I want, I want to make that move in a few years time.

I want my relationship to my Unnis and Namdongsaeng's to develop and deepen, I want to include them in my life in a completely different way than what I have done. Of course it would be easier if my first family would be able to travel to Sweden and visit me. But you see they are really poor so the only possability for me to get to know them is to make the move myself. And I know for a fact that they never would ask me to make that sort of sacrifice myself... Out of respect for my second family and my life in Sweden.

But I have nothing to take into consideration at this point in time, my Swedish parents will always be there for me no matter what. They can even understand why I feel the way I do about my first family and future move back to Korea.

Therefore I have no intention of making a lasting commitment to anybody which would mean that I would have to remain in Sweden when it isn't what I want or intended to do in the first place. When I finally have that second passport in my hands I'll start planning for the future but no until then.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Friday 3 February 2012

Answer My Call

You Wouldn't Answer My Call - 2AM


I discovered this song late one evening as I was looking for fairly new videos and FYI I would never become that dependable on somebody else. I meant to say that the song is good simply because.., not because of some hidden meaning or that it would remind me of a boy I once liked... 

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Thursday 2 February 2012

Reunion Reflection

Becoming a parent is huge life altering thing, and becoming a parent by adoption makess it even more complicated because the child you are supposed to parent has a past, already has one set of parents.

When mum's cooworkers learned that I had gone back to Korea and that I would be staying with my birth parents they showed much concern and even asked questions like aren't you afraid you'd be replaced now? are you still her mum? 


But the great thing with my mum is that she never once was worried that I'd be replacing her and thereby closing the door on a great life filled with security, happiness and love. It's impossible to replace the woman that raised you , that loves you unconditionally and that always have supported you with a woman who you don't really know, that hasn't seen you for most of your life and that can't speak the same language.

I do of course feel privileged, honured and most of humble that life has been able to reunite me with my other family, my first family. However I do still feel a strong connection to Korea and I still haven't ruled out the possibility of living there for real in the future, as a Korean citizen.

My first meeting with my first mother was just like what you've read of and seen on TV, she cried a lot (I think it was tears of despair and happiness)she started shouting and hitting my back every time she yelled. I her long lost daughter had finally returned to her years later, not as an infant but as a young women. During that same visit one of my sisters carefully explained that our mother wanted me to sleep next to her on her arm just as a small child would be doing. I was very happy to get that request but the thought of me sleeping next to my mother like that I couldn't fulfill.

My Korean mother has now seen me twice, and I know she wants nothing else than to see me happy but sometimes I wonder if she really loves me for me not just because I happen to be child that she has given birth to. And in really weak moments I start to think that everything is a drean; I will soon wake up and then be given the sad message that family I've grown to love and care for really isn't mine because I accidentally was switched at birth...

Could be because this whole experience still feels totally surreal, maybe it always will feel this... But now I know that it's allright for me to love the woman who raised me while I still love the woman that basically has given me life. And next time I'll come to Korea will be for the Korean New Year, Lunar New Year, the Independence Day , Constitution Day, Liberation Day, War Memorial Day, National Foundation Day or Hangul Day....

If I would have the resources and possility to choose I would choose Lunar New Year  설날 no doubt, next after that would be Independence Day and although I still was in Korea during the Armed Forces Day 국군 and the Hangul Day 한글날. I would still like to revisit Korea during the Hangul Day especially, as I would like to come there for 석가탄신일 Buddha's Birthday; 현충일Memorial Day, 세헌설 Constitution Day; 개천설  National Foundation Day and 1설 the Independence Day .

The only holidays that aren't as interesting to me at the moment are; 신청New Year's Eve probably because I don't make such a big fuss about it normally. 어린이날 Children's Day just because I don't have any children of my own although the idea and thought behind it sounds pretty interesting. 기독탄신일 which would be  Christmas Eve and that is only because I don't celebrate Christmas on Christmas Day but on Christmas Eve. Also I fear I only would try to spoil my sister's children even more and try to buy nice Christmas gift to my siblings and parents (that would be an offence)... Long story, maybe I've already explained if not I'll do it soon...

 I think I would only plan a shorter vacation trip maybe one week or 2 at the most. The ticker at the top is only counting down to one I hopefully would be able to stay in Korea for 3 months...

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Wednesday 1 February 2012

Nobel Books

I've found enough inspiration to attempt to read one book from every Nobel Prize winner in literature. The Nobel Prize was first given in 1901 but there hasn't been a Nobel Prize winner every year and yes, some have even declined due to different reasons. The first female author to recieve the Prize was Swedish Selma Lagerlöf, and she was finally given the Prize in 1909, and after her there so far only been 11 other female authors...


  • Sigrid Undset (1928) from Norway
  • Pearl Buck (1938) USA
  • Gabriela Mistral (1945) Chile
  • Nelly Sachs (1966) Germany
  • Nadine Gordimer (1991) South Africa
  • Toni Morrison (1994) USA
  • Elfriede Jelinek (2004) Austria
  • Doris Lessing (2007) Great Britain
  • Herta Müller (2009) Romania


Some years there have been two Prize winners the same year, but only two authors have declined and 1914, 1918, 1935, 1940, 1941,1942 as well as 1943 there has been no Nobel Prize winners (in literature)... And in 1964 Jean - Paul Sartre was aworded the Prize but declined as did Boris Palsternak in 1958. I will still read Palsternak and Sartre because they did get the Prize but couldn't accept it or didn't want it...

I think I will start reading the female authors and then maybe continue with the most famous authors like Rudyard Kipling, Toni Morrison, William Golding, Samuel Beckett, John Steinbeck, Ernest Hemmingway, Winston Churchill, T.S Elliott, George Bernard Shaw and then William Butler Yeats...

After that I think I will take them in order after nationality starting with China or Japan, then Latin America, Africa and so on...

And I will read one book per author if it isn't some kind of series then I will have to finish it... But I still have to pick one book per each author.. but that's a nice kind of chore I don't mind doing it. And just for the record I will exclude the Swedish Nobel authors , at this point anyways since the purpose of this task is to increase my vocabulary in foreign languages. Even though many of the Swedish authors have written very interesting and wellwritten books. But that will have to wait a while.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Language Oppertunities


Korean Writers