I'm caught in between, in a weird way - I have a family that I share genetics and past with more than anything else. But I havn't shared my childhood, teenage years with them. That family my first family, they have my past and to some extent my future.
My second and current family had my childhood and my teens, that period is a period of my life which I don't want to remember that much. Why live in the past !?
I'm not Korean nor Swedish at best I'm an expat Korean, or immigrated Swede. But I've already covered the last one, so no this time my answer is that I'm an expatriate Korean. One that have no knowledge of Korean history, traditions, religions or society.
The small percentages and pieces that I managed to learn I've learned over the past five years, and that is only a small fraction of an ancient nation's proud history.
Yet I have to be realistic even if I learn Korean, I will not be like them no matter how hard I try.
Of course I would be able to vote and seek employment in Korea if I were to seek dual citizenship. The thought of that is honestly really tempting to me, but on the other hand I don't really know what the consequences would become. If I do become a dual Korean citizen or whatever you may call it, will I no longer be able to call myself a KAD?
Or maybe my two families have 50 % each of my future and the now, sadly my first family at times seems to have even less. But I wish they had 50 % each, because that seems fair, since I don't want to forget the people who raised me and ultimately made who I am.
But the reunion and more importantly adoption, meant that I also was a product or item created by my first parents, so in wa way they helped shape me because they made me live.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
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