Non, Je ne Regrette Rien

Apparently there is a common understanding that if a young child experiences trauma it will most likely affect them. Some say the only remedy is regressional therapy that would help you re-experience said trauma and by doing so you can resolve it...
Not sure if it's true or not all I know is that I can't seem to shake off my past...

I don't want to live a life with regret. I don't want to have a past filled with regrets.
Yet it is better to regret past actions than never having tried.

Off The Wall

Rumors. Facts. Truth. 

I want to resettle in Korea.

Why? How come ? Similar questions is what I recieve from anyone a stranger or someone who thinks they have a right to have an opinion my life and my choices. 

That could not be more wrong. I know what I am and the little culture I have been exposed to is not enough. Not a society that only halfheartedly is willing to accept you under certain curcumstances.

Society wants me to reject my origin, my proud heritage and my culture. 

I have been given a new one I should fully embrace it. Believe me I have and still I am not fully accepted. I was forced to learn the customs of a foreign culture and now I have to choose. Either fully adjust into it or make a concious choice not to.

For my entire life I have lived a life that people think they have a right to have opinions on and to offer advice usually of discouragement. I will never be fully accepted in a society that is supposed to be my home this exactly why it does not feel like my home.

The parents who raised me, that I call mum and dad will never replace the parents that I should have had. Instead they are the next best thing, but I love my mum and dad tremendously - but there will always be a part of me that I lost and always will miss...

Aura

My aura and soul was born through my mother's tears and pain. Her soul gave birth to me a daughter that she never could call hers. Because of this my mother's aura must be pure. White as snow and innocent. I do not blame her in any way, I can hold nothing against her. She gave me life, I am a part of her.

I am searching for the thing I lost, my social heritage that I lost because I was adopted... My biological heritage does no longer match my social heritage. That is my biggest sorrow but it is not something that I can regret because I had nothing to do with it. I was just born by a mother that never was to be my mum.

Who is to blame for my soul's trauma... Because it is traumatic for a newborn infant or animal to be separated from it's mother to soon after birth.... That's why experts does not recommend you to buya kitten that's younger than 12 weeks or 8 weeks for a puppy. Removing it too soon from it's mother will most likely disturb the animals natural development not to mention the anti bodies it will lack and lose because of not being able to feed from it's mother.

Why are not children treated with the same respect?

Where Do I Belong

어디에 속하십니까
내가 지금까지 발견 할 것이다 집에 전화하는 장소.
여기서 우리 집이다.  영혼은 평화를 원한다.
 마음은 휴식하고 다시 신뢰하고 싶어.
내가 무엇을 찾고 발견
되고 싶어.

Where do I belong... ?
Will I ever find a place to call my home ?
My soul just wants peace and my heart requests rests and to believe again. 
Why is it so hard to find my one true home... 
A place where I can be allowed to be myself, to blossom , trust and believe again. 
Believe in the good in humankind. 
I just want to be accepted as the person that I am, why is such a place so hard to find ?
Please show me the respect that you seek in return, the least you can demand is respect. 
See me for the person that I am, acknowledge me. Show me that I am important and matter too. 
Tell me that life will get better, this cannot be it. There must be something more, something else something better. Better than all this, I deserve nothing but the best.