I'm satisfied to know that even though the decision to relinguish me up for adoption might be considered as the ultimate betrayal in my case it was only taken due to many unfortunate events; a matter of life and death.
Yet I've just realized that I for one is most likely to upon moving to Korea; feel like an alien and be recieving constant treatment of stigma and maybe even head towards the same or similar future like my Omma or Onni... Not that that neccessarilly is wrong but maybe you could notice the contradiction here...
If I move to Korea I might fall in love with a Korean and after that I suppose I might marry and eventually become a mother, but that's not for certain.... This would mean that I might be stigmatized not only because I am an adoptee but also based on the fact that I'm a woman...
I suppose living in Sweden being raised as a Swede do have its benefits...
Yet I can never totally escape from being stigmatized, you are stigmaitzed based on what kind of social , ethnic categories you fit into just to name a few. And the Korean government is making serious attempts to improve the situation for the most stigmatized people in Korea.
But regardless of stigma or not, every inch of my body whisper and urge me to go to Korea, My Birth Land I still have a large woid inside me on an emotional and psychological level.
I suppose as humans, we're never supposed to be completely satisfied, for instance brunettes and dark haired people might long for blonde hair while those with straight hair might want curls instead. Or if you happen to have brown or green eyes you might favour blue eyes instead. Eye colour and hair colour are two of humans physical traits and it just so happens that those are the ones people can control.
Having a different skin colour is different, if it's because of another ethnic origin be it Asian, Afro American, Latino, or whatever those are things we can't change. Of course you could try to alter and hide your skin colour by different cosmetics products and treatments but still you'll always be what you were born to be....
Related posts:
I Wonder
Deep Down
Fullfilment
Adoption Portrayals
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