Devotion

I'll start by reassuring my supposed readers that luckily nothing happened between me and that old man, ehw.. he's even older than my dad. I think it comes down to the fact that I'm too polite sometimes and surprised, it wasn't like I delibrately went outside looking for a random old guy... I'm not that kind of girl, I happen to be Asian but I'm also very Swedish which means I wouldn't settle for just anything.

Devotion. I'm feeling devotion towards many things these days; fellow adoptees, to some extent Koreans, but mostly my birth family and especially my siblings and birth parents. However I wouldn't delibrately betray my younger brother (the one I've been raised with her in Sweden). I'll defend him and stand up for him, simply because I love him. So yes I am very much devoted to him too. Love and devotion comes hand in hand.

I've recently realised that there are fellow adoptees and KADs that chooses to adopt from their own birth country, until just a few months ago I couldn't seem to accept it let alone understand it. But now I think I might have started to, being adopted usually means you're raised in the Western world and every so often you're raised in a family of white Westerners. And based on my own experiences I'd say that it is likely for that child to feel peculiar since they generally don't resemble the parents and possible siblings (if they're not adopted from same country).

One way to numb that feeling is to let it fade away with motherhood; not that I'm a mother myself yet. Not even close. Another more concious choice is to adopt from same country, by doing this you might achieve fullfilment which might not even have been possible to achieve even with the thought of having your own baby.

It seems possible that any child an adoptee might have would be bircial child, Korean and Swedish in my case. This would mean that that child wold either be really similar to either one of the parents or both. But in comparison to a Korean child the child wouldn't seem that similar to its mother. In my case that would be Swedish and Korean yet that isn't 100 % certain since we live in a globalized world first and foremost, second Sweden nowadays consits of many different ethnicities.

This is pure speculations and observations, based on generalizations and published statistics. I know that there may be many exceptions, and hopefully I'll manage to write this post without stepping on any toes or irritating fellow adoptees and KADs. My intention isn't to start a debate I just want to write about my experiences, feeling and thoughts. Hopefully this is enough.

Also just because my awareness has expanded it doesn't mean I would consider adoption on a personal level even though I have no reason to complain about my childhood, upbringing or adoptive parents. But I still feel like there are things I like to discuss because if I don't than who should mention them besides me?

Why is it that I can't even go outside without being approched by slightly older men with hidden agendas? I'm so sick of this when this happens, it's not like I can return home change my clothes and then return. That's really annoying sometimes and most times.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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