Friday 30 September 2011

How To Get Nate Cyworld

Getting Nate (Cyworld) (as a foreigner) is a bit complicated because you need to show identification and also fax the application not mail it! I've been a bit apprehensive towards that but I might try to get a Nate account at some point. Maybe while I'm here or back in Sweden.

Yesterday would have been my Name Day (Namnsdag) in Swedish, the name my adoptive parents gave me 25 years ago was in the almanack yesterday. Which means it was my Name Day, but this year I'm not sure if it will be celebrated because of my name change...

It's a pretty long story, I've also realized how fortunate I am to still have a lasting relationhip with my birth family after over 10 years.. That's a pretty long time I know and furthermore I'm grateful because my birth family decided to take me in when I was on a month long visit in Korea, it seems not many adoptees are that fortunate. I know many adoptees don't even find their birth parents (even if they want to)... so I managed to find my birth family when I was 16 years old. That's how old our relationhip are, so maybe I'm only 9 years old to them... !?

It seems it's very rare for adoptees to be given the oppertunity to stay with their birth family while on vacation here. I realise just how much my birth parents and siblings really care, it makes me feel loved , proud and very grateful. They really must love me unconditionally because even though are not that well off they still insisted on giving me a place to stay so they also support me in this. Or so I like to believe, and they try the best they can but I know just how deep their love must be for me. I will treasure this trip forever, whatever happens I will always know there are so many people here that loves me. The best thing about the trip wasn't the food, the different culture or anything similar. No it was the little things, like having breakfast that my sister made, seeing my siblings at work, spending time with my parents.

I just hope they realize exactly how fortunate and lucky I feel, I hope they don't think I'm taking things for granted or acting spoiled. If it would have been another trip, then I suppose I would have been able to enjoy spending time in my parents home. It's just that this time , it wasn't what I planned for.

Oh, some people some time back, told me I basically was cursed because I was born as the 7th daughter but it seems to have been untrue because number 7 is a lucky number in Korea too...

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Korean Way Of Living

Thursday 29 September 2011

Why Now ?

I've decided to go on a second reunion, although there's so much else I could do. Being in Korea isn't really useful it's only expensive. But no, I think it's useful for me and my birth family. They should know how commited I am to them by now. So it's useful for a few but not for an overall good. Why hold up on things you could do right now ? When you actually decide to do them it could be too late...

I'm considering applying for a full scholarship for Korean studies in Korea (as an adult adoptee or more particularly Korean adoptee.. Maybe it would be easier to learn Korean while hearing it every day... as I experienced from my first days it is not really that diificult to speak Korean if you can listen, try to pronounce it by repeating what yo heard. I'll let you know how that thing goes...

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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My Journey

Wednesday 28 September 2011

Dinner With Family

I've had a couple of family dinners usually with only parts of my birth family sometimes mostly on weekends with my entire birth family. The food has always tasted good and made me wish I could recreate it back home...

Maybe I should tell you how I celebrated Chuseok in Korea?  Oh, well I guess I will either way... First tings first; I once accompanied one sister to the hospital to visit her father-in-law and she even introduced me. That's nice I guess but boy did it feel akward...

Then for the actual holiday Omma came down and the entire family got togheter except for one of my dongsaengs which couldn't come but despite that the family was complete extended family members were there to. We made famous Chuseok food togheter, and then had a food party !.On the second day we visited mountain Bukhasan (which normally would take 3 hours) but like my family guessed it did take me 6 entire hours to climb down the mountain by then they had already gone far ahead and it had gotten really dark. Some nice Koreans guided me to policestation where another Korean were nice enough to offer to take me down the mountain... Then a few hundred meters down I was reunited with my birth family and they had to apologize and then explain that I was there Swedish dongsaeng...

Then later in the evening we visited an ethnic resturant and had a drinking party and by the way neither Soju or the Korean drink was that strong. And I usually don't like alcohol...

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Breakfast With Family

Tuesday 27 September 2011

My Journey

It certainly has had had it's ups and downs, but overall it's been a good experience mostly filled with happy memories. And I have accomplished one of my goals: I have gotten closer to my birth family. Maybe it's because my adoptive parents isn't with me this time.

I'm not sure but it seems I have a very different approch towards my adoption, so far the fellow KADs I've met I have found that I have very little or nothing in common with... It's not surprising considering there are so many of us out there, but I most confess it's been a little disappointing. But I didn't come to Korea mingle with fellow Korean adoptees I came for Chuseok and to continue establising some kind of foundation in my relationship with my birth family. At least that's what I had in mind, when I planned the trip.

Maybe one of the benefits for having established contact with your birth family (is that you supposedly get told about your family's medical history.) I'm just presuming that it is a fact more than anything. Turns out that the big operation my sister's have had might run in the family. They told me to get to hospital in Sweden to check that up... I'm freaking out a bit right now, just because of that but just because at least two or maybe three of my sisters have had to have that big operation doesn't necessarilly mean that I'll have to get the operation done...

I've lived at my sister's place in Seoul (I had to sort of convince them since I didn't want to go back to Cheonan and watch more TV... There's nothing wrong with watching TV , but spending an entire month watching only Korean TV wasn't what I had planned or imagined I would do...) And there's also nothing wrong with Cheonan...

Ok, so I've lived at my sister's place, right, yes most of the time in the big flat sharing it with three of my sisters and a few days at my older sister's place with her two children in a bigger and nicer flat. But the thing is I never know when or who I'll be staying at, my sister's can tell me that I'm supposed to sleep at another sister's place the very same day... Like yesterday, they wanted me to go to oldest sister. But I said i didn't want to so I guess I'm going tonight...

My sister's tend to spend Saturdays togheter having lunch, and they'll tell me that I'm having lunch with them in the morning of the same day although I could have made other plans they seem to think that'll cancel all my plans to go for luch with them...

A few days ago I had planned to meet my friend who I met back in Sweden while I still attended university. That person was an exchange student on exchange studies at my university (at the time). So when I had confirmed my second travel we planned to meet up. We did reschedule so that I would have time to be with my sisters but I never made it there, to them because they changed location every time I finally arrived and I couldn't find my way at times... Crazy, right!? Yes, and supposedly not really Korean but I guess that's my family...

Turns out I'm not going to stay with my older sister since she apparently has some sort obligation to visit the hospital (supposedly daily)...

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Culture Clash

Monday 26 September 2011

나는 스웨덴어입니다

I'm not only Korean but also Swedish. And there's a lot of Korean adoptees in Sweden. But no we don't have any polar bears here and the capital city of Sweden is Stockholm not Helsinki , Oslo or Copenhagen. Stockholm. Sweden is also one of the European countries with a monarchy (sorry it has to be said) despite bing a monarchy Sweden is a relatively wealthy country but we do have poverty and homeless people here too.

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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삼일

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추석 잘 보내세요

Sunday 25 September 2011

Please Speak Slowly

By now I've been to Dongdaemun, Namdaemung, Itaewon, Insadong, EHWA Women's University and Myeongdong more than twice and I still have many more days left. I have also visited the DMZ on one of those tourist tours. That was really challenging because people could see I was one of them by my appearance yet didn't speak their language.

Instead I used English, so I must be a foreigner yes ? Maybe Japanese...

Actually other KADS which I met at KoRoot some days ago presumed I was of mixed race Korean and Chinese or maybe even Japanese. But the thing is I'm not looks can decive you..

Maybe there's some sort of unwritten rules for adoptees and especially those who have met or reunited with their birth families.... Could it be considered ugly or bad (like bragging almost) when you mention you're birth family.. !? Maybe, just maybe I should stop talking about them but then what's the point about blogging ? I honestly don't know...

Yesterday I finally made it to the agency that sells DMZ tours and I booked a seat on one, on the same day I also went to the N Seoul Tower (completed the bear museum exibition and went to the observatory) then later I went Apgujung to look for that famous Swedish cafe called Fika. I found it and bought some Cinnemon buns back with me. One sister tasted it but supposedly didn't like the taste (normally) Cinnemon buns have a lot of butter , cinnemon and sugar maybe the taste was overhelming for her or something...

I did bring Swedish candy with me; Ahlgrens bilar, Daim, Gott och blandat and Djungelvral. Turns out they only liked the two out of them, the Swedish liquirice wasn't a big hit and they really hated the extra salty Djungelvral liqurice. It went in the trash !

Another thing I've noticed is that Koreans seems to overexaggerate their hygiene for example washing teeth after every meal and taking a shower twice day some days several times... I do wash my teeth twice a day after breakfast and before going to bed and in between no exemptions. ( I hope no one will be offended by my observation)....

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Adoptee In Korea

Saturday 24 September 2011

Underneath It All

I'm not sure but maybe adoptees are considered more or less egocentric maybe even narcissistic... (and yes I'm also talking about myself).

Fact 1: I were adopted overseas (from Korea). Which means I'm an adult adoptee KAD even.
Fact 2: Both my Omma and Appa are ethnic Koreans.
Fact 3: They are still married.
Fact 4: I'm not their only child but supposedly the only one that was relinquised for adoption.
Fact 5: I'm their youngest daughter but not their youngest child.

Can we really calll ourselves a family ? Do you tell me things that's going on in the family? Do you love me? Are you glad I found you ? Do you think of me as your daughter and sister? Was I born in the evening or in the night ?

Before I leave I'm determined to also do a few typical tourist activities like going on one of those DMZ tours and also visiting the Seoul Tower and Teddybear Museum...  Although I'm not sure where to sign up for a DMZ tour since I'm not staying at a hotel...

I guess I'll have to do some investigation...

Despite my somewhat rude awekening I suppose what I experienced in the Seoul subway isn't something that happens everyday. And now I start appreciate the country of my birth place. Koreans also tend to dress up when they're out and then totally dress down whie at home relaxing. They usualy where something like a homewear. Totally different from any other place I've ever been to and so far I've never been to China or Japan. The Beijing airport doesn't count.

I had one place I just needed to go to when I came here and that was Baskin Robbins (we don't have that chain in Sweden) their icecream is really something. But one thing that's sort of annoying is that you can't get four flavours of ice cream in the same order unless you're two people (couple) otherwise you only get two flavours... What's with that ... !? yes, Koreans tend to be really focused on doing thing in groups and couple items and events really is big here. I don't know why...

If you want to visit a Starbucks in Sweden you'll have to to Stockholm and Arlanda airport because there's the only place you'll find it (so far)... You can watch American shows like CSI, Criminal Minds, Hells Kitchen and the really big hit movies... And there's actually an entire channel that's only for American militaries in Korea ( I forgot the name of it though)...

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Culture Clash

Friday 23 September 2011

Wait Once More

I start to realize that life in Korea is very different compared to Sweden....

  • women generally only work until marriage then they become housewives (rasing kids)
  • single women relies quite a lot on their family 
  • married women doesn't have the same legal protection here
One other thing that sort of really sucks is that I can't visit my birth siblings if and when they're in hospital. Two of my older siblings recently were hospitalised I was unable to visit them. Because I'm not a member of the immediate family, even though I'm their flesh and blood.

A few days ago, I started talking loudly in my sleep again... It is a really bad habit that supposedly kicks in when I'm nervous about something. The thing is it's not the best thing to utter regardless of what time it is. It used be a word or phrase that I would utter without thinking about it... But I guess I really should try to stop using it at least while I'm here in Korea....

I think I freaked my sister's neighbours out like big time and then one sister even called the ambulance and had to check if I still was breaving. The thing is I also had a really bad dream like a nightmare I'm not sure if these two things are related or not.

Since this blog is open for everyone I can't and will not write about exactly what it was... let's just say it's supposedly fairly common among overseas adopted Koreans and leave it at that.

Yesterday I went on a DMZ trip to the third tunnel and JSA (Joint Security Area) and boy was that hard !!! Constantly being watched by soldiers for any random tint mistake. The trip was so worth it and it was interestig even though I was totally drained from energy by the time it was over.

I went the restroom and the soldier that was escorting us, had to open the door and call out for me since I was the only left there... For a while I panicked and imagined that I now stuck in JSA.... But luckyly I wasn't the bus was still on the parking lot waiting for me, and boy was I glade for that.

And no they didn't duouble check my passport, they might have held me under extra watch or something. Not that I would know for sure... But yes, I was born in Korea but I don't know fluent Korean and I have never liced here as an adult.

I don't think it's especially Korean but for some reason my Korean family believes that I only prefer Western bland food and aren't supposedly used to spicy food. But that's totally not so, most Swedes loves spicy food especially anything with garlic. Last time my family ordered the least spicy chicken thinking I wasn't so used to spicy food.

Yes, we have McDonald's in Sweden and yes it's sort of cheap because it's fastfood although it's also known as junkfood because it's processed and full of the unhealthy fat that's bad for you. These days almost every American restaurant chain or restaurant can be found here in Korea. Like McDonald's, Burger King,Pizza Hut, Donkin Donut, Holly's Cafe, Starbucks and you name it. They're all here!!! Amazing and a bit sad , traditional Korean food is known to be really healthy while the Western food are known to be more unhealthy since generally is more greasy.

Just because we have McDomald's we don't eat there every day, before coming here I hadn't eaten at McDonald's since 10 years ago or. And the last time I ate pizza was last year (which happened to be on my first trip here). And Swedes prefer sparkling or bottled water over fizzy drinks,  fruit juices or sweet drinks. Although we have fresh tap water that you could drink without having to worry.

So far I've eaten at McDonald's 4 or 5 times and have had pizza 3 times, when I get back home I'm starting my diet again. Also I've eaten ice cream so far 6 times that's also something I never used to eat at home....

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

Thursday 22 September 2011

Culture Clash

I will not deny it; there has been situations were culture clashes has occured. They're used to other values and principles unlike the ones I know. But we're family so it's allright as long as we all do our very best.

A few days ago I visted the SWS office to look at my social study (the original one) and I never told my birth family about thinking they might get upset.... It's not to late I could still tell them, but maybe that would make more harm than good ?

My birth family cares about me and they want to know where I'm going, when I'm leaving but does that also include telling them exactly what I'm up too?

After only a few couple of days I had a bit of an argument with my birth siblings over something silly, which turned out to be nothing really. Just created out of cultural misunderstanding combined with different values and language gaps.

So, yeah my siblings and parents work a lot like 6 maybe even 7 days a week. And I feel bad because like once a week they are able to spend more time with me. Which was the reason that I came here in the first place but I'm in a Korea a country with a great culture and proud history. So chances are that I still would like to do the ordinary tourist activites, right ? And because I'm an adult it means I basically can take care of myself (during the day) but sometimes my plans might clash with birth families....

Like the other day when I had made an appointment with a friend on the same day that my birth family wanted me to go to another sister's house where we all should spend time togheter... Tricky, right !? Yeah, well that's an understatement.


©Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Adoptee In Korea

Wednesday 21 September 2011

Korean Adoptee In Korea

I know I'm not the only Korean adoptee in Korea.
But I know there's not many Korean adoptees that has been able to find their birth families...
It makes me feel humble and grateful, and I'll try make the most of this time continuing creating happy memories.

I'm back on a second reunion this time staying with birthfamily, despite not being fluent in Korean...

Despite the setbacks, subway encounters and langugage barriers I still havn't given up on my birth family... I think it's likely that I'll return more times in the future. At least now I know what to expect, and I could at least prepare myself mentally for that bite.

Now I know what an easy life I'm able to get trough, I've never had to live under the same circumstances as any of siblings or birth parents.

Oh, yeah I've finally been to KoRoot , more than once. It was different than I remember I had imagined it to be differently from what it was. One thing I really was surprised about what the fact that they offer free lunches daily (but only) if you're a Korean adoptee. It's like a miniature world where you only speak English or Korean...

Korea is still a very conservative country when it comes to how women should dress. And this is funny, when I was here last year with my adoptive parents I could get away with wearing most Western clothes, deep necklines, visible bra straps and sometimes even bra, really short skirts and dresses too. But this time things was to be different.

It started at the airport when Appa picked me up, then I was wearing gymnastic pants, supporting socks and some kind of top. The things this pants were sort of a bit short showing off (maybe a bit too much of the socks.) Appa pulled the pants down to cover the socks and then I had too walk around with the pants hanging from my knees...

A foreign tourist can get away with a lot that Koreans and not even Korean adoptees or Korean related people can. If you try to wear Western clothes and whatever... PEOPLE WILL STARE AT YOU !!!

So now I have to find some t-shirts with high neckline asap.

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Tuesday 20 September 2011

Breakfast With Family

Today I actually had breakfast with my 가족, and it was a treat ! I did enjoy it quite a bit just because it's one of those moments you tend to take for granted. So I'm very thankful for the oppertunity. Maybe someone who didn't know us would mistake us for a real (intact) family...

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Monday 19 September 2011

Frustrated And Alone

Going to Korea by myself has at times been frustrating, and I've felt annoyed and irritated. And it's different than when I was here about a year ago with my mum and dad. This time I'm on my own not tied down by assumptions but instead supposed to be self sufficent and independent. My Korean has actually also reached a tolerable level by know, but there's still things I miss. Things I might never be able to recover.

I'm not gonna lie and yes I know that adoptees might consider me spoiled if I tell you that I've been staying with my birth family ever since arriving. I treasure it I do, really, I do, but the culture shock was far greater than I ever imagined. And I'm not fluent in Korean, only know a few phrases here and there.

And the language barrier became very apparent almost obvious the few days I stayed with Omma and Appa. Because I don't know enough Korean and also since my birth parents speak with a local dialect it was very difficult indeeed, almost impossible to understand.

Once it was time to eat I didn't know if one them would be back so I didn't clean of the table or stash awy the food. Also, when omma asked if I was full I or didn't like the food I must have responed then the opposite of what I meant. I ended up getting dishes that I didn't ask for and was forced to force myself to at least try it. Even though I was full.

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Sunday 18 September 2011

Back Home

Normally I would be attending classes in university or look for jobs going on job interviews and such.. but no instead I'm here. Back in Seoul for a crash course in Korean and culture combining it with a visit at my birth family celebrating Chuseok and 엄마의 생일.


Dad is retired making reparations at home or at our summer house, mum is still working as a teacher and will 60년 turn  this year. My brother is very busy having a big social life, three jobs and is almost never home. He told me some weeks ago that he is considering applying for university studies next semester. Both mym and my brother has gone back to work.. I do feel a little guilty for not staying at home I must confess.

I miss the weekly workouts at the gym with dad and also baking cookies and cakes. I knew beforehand of the Swedish caffeé so I did go there one day and I bought Cinnemon buns to take home. But making them yourelf is the best, nothing beats homemade Cinnemon buns! Trust me.

Learned the other day that my adoptive brother probably will have moved out (to live on his own) by the time I'm back in Sweden. I ceratinly didn't expect that one... About two weeks ago we held a funeral for my paternal grandmother she passed away at the respectable age of 94... Imagine that, I wonder I ever will be that old...

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Saturday 17 September 2011

Letter To You

Seoul is a very modern city lost of people, everyone seems to be in a hurry; going somewhere. Technology improvements are also quite surprising. The general population is mostly ethnic Koreans but staying in Seoul as foreigner or tourist isn't a hazzle , people are very friendly. Unlike Sweden the weather is still very hot but I'm not complaining.

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Friday 16 September 2011

Lonely In Seoul

Lonely in Seoul... it's actually not possible to be alone in Seoul , but I do think it's very possible to feel lonely. I'm going to try to think positive and be thankful for the days I've been able to spend here and the days that are left. Creating happy memories is what I intend to. I almost forgot, this year I celebrated Chuseok with my birth family it was something quite special. We had special rice cakes that were hand made, and my siblings made them and I tried to.

It will not be easy I realize that more than ever now, let's just take such a thing as what it means to go on holiday. In Sweden and for Swedes it means you bring very little clothes (if you're going somewhere where you know it's much cheaper) then you just bring a large suitcase that can hold all you're latest bargains.

Today, and for the last few days I've been doing lots of shopping , what else could I do when all my siblings are busy working ... !? You tell me, if they ask or wonder I'll just say that I've been buying a lot of gifts for my family.

The weather was cool for the first time since arriving here, even though it might not have been the best shopping wheater when you're used to constant raining then a slight, light lukewarm rain can't beat your spirit.

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Thursday 15 September 2011

Getting Introduced

My Korean has improved slowly but steadily and now I believe I basically would be able to take care of myself. 나는 한국지만 채택. 일본어 없습니다. 

A few days ago I got to speak on the phone with one of my brothers and I also told Omma and Appa that I love them.

Omma sarange, appa sarange...

I guess I'll always will love my Korean birth family , although I'm not sure to what extent. Will I be able to come back in the future for a second visit? Would I more importantly want to come back ? Right now I'm unable answer that. I don't think I'll have an answer for that in many days.... Maybe I will know what to do once I'm home, sleeping in my own bed , eating the things I'm used to.

Even I'm miserable here now, maybe that's a price I have to pay if I want to be able to build on our relationship. If I ever would consider going back I guess I might have to stay here for the entire trip like originally planned.... I guess it would hurt my birth family tremandeously if I ever decided to replan my trip.... I wish someone other than me, knew what to do....



© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle


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Wednesday 14 September 2011

Things To Buy

  • Umbrella (different from back home these have UVB filter)
  • postcards
  • souvenirs
  • shoes
  • clothes 
  • gifts
  • jewlery 
  • makeup
and maybe more things which I can't think of or remember right now. Also I did consider buying a custom made 한복 in real silk but I'm still considering if I should or shouldn't.
  1. I already own a custom made 한복
  2. Back in 2006 an estimated price of a costum made  한복 was 350000 원 which back then was the same as 4500. My budget might not allow such an expensive shopping. 
© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

Tuesday 13 September 2011

Life So Far

Even though I havn't been able to spend every day with my 어머니 and 아버지, I havn't been bored or disappointed. Not at all Seoul is a very exciting city, there's plenty to see and watch and it's a fascination culture. I have mostly seen my 형제 only twice a day in the morning and in the evening. Some days I've even had the oppertunity to have dinner with them late in the evening. But most times I've feed myself breakfast, lunch and dinner.

As long as it's ethnic Korean food I'm happy, but if it's dog meat or cat in the dish I don't eat it. But it's supposedly illegal to serve cats and dog at restaurants now, these days.

I still haven't abandoned the thought of rescheduling my return home for a much earlier date, it all depends on two things
  1. if and how much my wardrobe will have decreased
  2. if more Korean men approach me in the subway
© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Monday 12 September 2011

추석 잘 보내세요

나는 스웨덴 출신인데, 한국에서 출생. 그래서한국어입니다. 나는 조금 한국어 모르겠어요. 여러분 모두에게 행운이 아침이나 잘자. 내가 나중에 더 많은 내일이나 언젠가를 작성 해 볼게요 것을 약속드립니다. 사진 한번 나 집에 왔어 ... 것입니다


© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle


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Sunday 11 September 2011

Postcard From Seoul

Dear mum and dad, I've now been in Seoul for a few weeks. Things are going as expected and everybody is very nice too me. It's very hot here though even if thet say it's autumn in Seoul now. I hope you are doing well.
아자아자 화이팅!

I'm realizing that there's so many things I miss about Sweden , the place I'm used to , the place where I grew up and also the place where I live. But it's not the place where I was born...

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Saturday 10 September 2011

The Korean Way Of Living

Working 6 days a week is a reality for most of siblings but also my birth parents. Also it seems like my married sisters quit working to stay home and raise a family and take care of the household while their husbands work. I'm not sure I could accept such a life, but then again I'm still unemployed but to live on state benefits as well as on my husband isn't something I would agree to.

But I do love children even if I guess it's many more years left for me before I settle down with someone.. Have to find that special person first...

In most Western countries you normally only work from Monday to Friday not on Saturdays like you do in Korea.

Of course I might have to accept that I would have to stop working and stay home, if I was to marry a Korean man.. But I wouldn't just marry someone just for the sake of marriage alone and having children with someone just because I want to. To live of a supposed spouse or husband isn't a certainly good strategy thatr would help you get a job.

Trust me.

I do admire my 어머니and 아버지 because they never seem to complain about their life even if their life has been troublesome. For that I admire and respect them. They have also raised more then 10 children into good  people. For that I admire and respect them. I only wish I could be more them, like my Korean siblings.

It only took a few days upon arriving before I started to question if I really did make the right decision. The first few days I spent with Omma and Appa in the southern part of Korea. I hadn't planned to stay there for my entire stay so it was a little disappointing to say the least. That's when I considered making a hotel reservation in Seoul instead. But I didn't have to do that, I'm still in Seoul.

Generally Koreans aren't friendly towards foriegners that travels alone, but the warm welcome I recieved from my birth family was more than enough. I have also meet my oldest sister now and her children, but I don't think I'll get to see any of my brothers. While I'm here I'm going to spend time with my Korean friend from university. That'll be fun.

Maybe things will get better once I learn more Korean or maybe once I'm back home. Nothing beats home sweet home, right ? The subway here is very clean, more so than the Swedish one but it's not really safe for female solo tourists I've unfortunately been approached by several strange men askig me for sex and somehow people (men) things it's allright to touch me in the subway...

This doesn't exactly make want to come back for a  third time, although I know that might be neccessary if I truely want to commit to my birthfamily. Right now I just want the days to pass, so I can go home , sleep in my own bed not having to worry about my stuff going missing.

It's going to be interesting to see how many items of (my own) clothes I actually will be able to take with me back home. I guess I have to save my dirty laundry (just by new and then wash later at home) or they'll get little feet and move into my sisters wardrobe. Oh, maybe I'll have to do the same with my socks, luckily the clothes I brought are too big and way to inmoral for Korean women so I guess I don't have to worry about them.

Also I just remembered that I have an appointment later this month which means I should reconsider rebooking my ticket... I'm not going to be able to answer any comments before I'm back home. Sorry for that but now you know at least.

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Friday 9 September 2011

Korean Cooking

I do admire Korean women overall because putting togheter just a basic meal is a real challenge and especially very time consuming. Of course it's very healthy which weighs up the cons, I only wish I would be able to recreate the dishes back home but then I remember that products and ingredients isn't the same in Korea.
To take an example the Cinnemon buns from the Korean cafeé doesn't taste like authentic Swedish Cinnemon buns. But it's a good substitute, and an A for effort.

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Thursday 8 September 2011

Sunshine And Roses

I've been in reunion for 10 years in theory but 2 years in real life. I'll probably be in a state of renuion for the rest of my life. And reunion , for me has been something I desperatly needed yet it has added far more drama to my life compared to my life pre reunion.
So no life in reunion for adoptees, certainly isn't sunshine and roses, it can be but far from all the time.

I have discovered that Koreans aren't really that friendly towards foreigners (especially if you're a young woman traveling alone) like me. Learned that first hand, had big meltdown the other day and almost considered rebooking my return ticket to a much earlier date.

Level of Hangul knowledge: constantly increasing.

Although I feel, uncomfortable and uneasy and strangely lonely and volnerable, I'm not sure about things any more. Everything I do seems to be wrong, I thought giving money on Chuseok to my siblings children was allright. It is a custom afterall, but maybe I'm not expected to follow that costum maybe I offended them instead of making them feel proud and happy...

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Wednesday 7 September 2011

Citius Altius Fortis

Citius, Altius, Fortis - faster, higher, stronger.

생일축하합니다 어머니!!!

©Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Tuesday 6 September 2011

Life According To 어머니 ,아버지

Tomorrow it's birthday of 어머니, she'll turn 61 !! Unfortunately I missed her 60th birthday last year but this time I will not only stay for Chuseok but also 어머니합니다. That will probably be special...

Speaking of birthday's one of my 언니 celebrated her birthday just days before I arrived. I did give her a birthday gift and a birthday card.

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle


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Monday 5 September 2011

Lost In Seoul

My orientations skills are horrible, and I have managed to get lost several times but luckily the subway system is really well structured and the Koreans are very friendly and helpful. I'm not sure what I'll be doing today maybe visit Itaewon..

Yesterday I got to see parts of my birth family since it was weekend (meaning Sunday) the only day that you don't work. It felt nice and I did manage to speak a little in Korean.

My Hangul knowledge is starting to improve.

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Saturday 3 September 2011

Do I Know You ?

I have a lot of free time (on my own in Seoul even though I stay with my birthfamily) but so far I havn't been doing any seighseeing in Seoul, maybe I will later. I'm thinking of going to the DMZ area one day and of course visit both Dongdamun, Myeongdong and Itaewon at one point.

Last time I never had an oppertunity to see DMZ, so I think I will try to this time. Also I'm considering going to the Korean Folk Village , I still havn't been there. I really would like to also visit the famous Jeju Island but I'm not sure if I can afford it. Domestic flights in Korea is somewhat expensive, more so than traveling from Sweden to Korea !!!

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Friday 2 September 2011

Catching Up

It feels good to be back in Korean and be able to see my birthfamily feels extraspecial I'm certainly glad I made the decision to come back as early I did. I know we are related and they want to be recognized as my sisters which they are in my heart, but fact is we're still strangers there's so much about my siblings I don't know anything about. But I'm very grateful that I am able to see them; see what there life is like and all that.

However my birthfamily works a lot so I havn't been able to see my siblings yet, maybe in a few days when it's weekend. My birthparents works from 7 AM to 12 PM at least six days a week.

Remind me never to complain about stress or not having enough time. Even though they all do work a lot , they never persuaded me not to come. I'm extremely grateful for it, because it can't be easy. Last time we met was very ackward , being feed food not only at home but out in public at a restaurant and sleeping in the same room as 어머니and my siblings felt really strange.

But also very needed I was finally able to partially compensate my birthfamily.

This time it did feel a bit ackward especially the first few days and at times I must confess it still does. But I'm confident.

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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Thursday 1 September 2011

Jetlag In Korea

Current effects of jetlag: starting to where off.

I have by know been introduced to my entire birthfamily , which feels nice yet very strange. We are family; siblings and sons and daugters to our Korean parents.

Yet since I was adopted as an infant (before 3 months old) I never had a change to learn my native language Korean and my adoptive parents never asked me if I wanted to learn in school. At the time there seemed to be no need for me to know Korean because I had no reason to speak it and no one to talk to. I now realize that I desperately needs to learn as much as I can while here so that I one day can speak , maybe not fluent Korean but enough Korean so that I wouldn't have to rely on interpretators or dictionaries just to have a minor conversation with my 어머니 and 아버지 and of course my siblings.

© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

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