Friday, 11 March 2011

The Chosen One

I know I should be greatful, because people constantly tells me this... it almost never fails once they know I'm an adoptee. But there's a difference between an adopted child and a biological child which I will explain now; in adoption the adoptive parents are actually given a choice... do they want this particular child or not ? Do they think they can find someone better? Mostly, prospective parents accepts the recommended child in their first offer ( I hate how this sound like adoptees are nothing but items.)Please note that the statement above is based on my personal observation...

But truth to be told they have a choice to accept the recommended child or to reject it... This is why I argue that there is no luck and adoption definately shouldn't involve gratitude...

Furthermore I've realized that it sometimes seems like my adoptive parents, and again it's mostly mum, who manages to somehow insult or overlook my birth parents and let me tell you this is a big no no. If you're unlucky this could produce a very angry and resentful child who might consider disowning their adoptive parents. So no adoption isn't easy least not for the adoptee; for the adoptee it can be lifelong struggle... not that I'm trying to complain, ust explain and occiassionally I might generalize and complain. But try my best to have a positive outlook on life.

I think this is really upsetting, because my birth family don't know anthing of this secondly they can't defend themselves against any of the critique unless I would tell them... My birth parents have done nothing wrong, they did their best and even if they had been forced to give up other children for adoption in the past you're not the one to judge. It's not me that should be grateful, in fact I think it's you who should; you should be eternally grateful that my birth parents made the decision to relinquish me which enabled you to get costudy of me as your daughter.

I might be the chosen or rather I know so, but if there is a situation where my birth parents are put against my adoptive parents, I for sure know who I would pick. The same goes if Korea is compared to Sweden it's true that I prefer Sweden over Korea but if it's a competion or comparison Korea would always come out as the winner no matter what.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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