The Swedish morals has changed dramatically since the Jante Law was introduced. Maybe it's because people are either scared or lazy but most people hesistate or ignore a person in need. And instead of Jante Law, it seems people are more concerned about their own business and simply can't be bothered to care about anyone else.
Also, most Swedish schools still have industrialized produesed food, because we have no poverty or we do but our social security is handled by the state and most people get housing and money that way. Swedes have never experienced war or independence, most of ous don't know what it means to live under constant fear of war and death.
When people get bored they destroy things !!! Mostly youngsters and teens, some schools tried to to have their own gardens but not surprisingly they were destroyed.
Swedish employees and companies hires women and men yet women mostly get lower slaries compared to men. Swedish men are expected to help out with raising children and even to take parental leave, it's even reqired that father's stays home for a minimum of days out of the parental leave or else the parental leave might be cut.
Unmarried women can have children without being discriminated by their families or society, and it's common that people enters common law marriage and have children and never marry. And low and behold, a few months ago an older woman reported that she'd won on scratch ticket and had to go on television to sracth new tickets to determine her prize. The thing is she said she didn't want to and sent her daughter instead. But the daughter never said she represented her mother. Then her mother got angry and suved her daughter because felt entitled to the money. It got to court and they were advised to settle on a compromise they decided to so but ever since they no longer speak with each other. How tragic and all because of greed. And the son/brother even had to testify about who it was that really bought the ticket.
Next time you decide to go out driving don't forget to put on your best outfit, wear some makeup and look really smart. So that if you happen to drive over the speed limit than you might avoid a ticket if the trafic police happens to stop you they might ask you for a date ! It actually happened in politically correct Sweden... (obviously this is supposed to be sarcastic)
And one more thing that's really Swedish but has little to do with moral is allergies. In Sweden there are many people who different allergies; not just the common food allergies and/or fur allergy. There's also allergies against perfumes, hay fever, electricity, skin allergies and the sun. And I'm not kidding you here.
We have freedom of speach which makes it possible for me to blog and also voice my opinion without fearing being put in jail. Speaking of blogging I have recently begun the process of transfering my blog...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
What's It Like
Have To Be
Showing posts with label Sweden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sweden. Show all posts
Friday, 27 April 2012
Saturday, 14 April 2012
Does It Have To Be
한구사람도 웨덴 사람는 있어요.
I didn't have a crappy childhood, not really. My mum and dad spoiled me rotten to be honest. I will not forsake them just because I have found my first parents. Yet my first parents have a big part of my life maybe bigger then they realize. But that's allright.
I have siblings that I visited and met, but now I'd like to take the next step. Moving to Korea in order to become a real part of the family. That doesn't mean I cast away my time in Sweden, by no means.
I don't want to neccessarily stop adoption from Korea, but I wouldn't choose adoption myself.
I don't have to explain my decision or defend it not even apologize for it. If you have followed my blog , then you'll already know my standpoint. And please, if you choose to adopt then by all means do I respect your decision and I hope people could accept my personal opinion to ot do so. Not everyone wants to become parents not even by biology.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Reconnecting
What's It Like
I didn't have a crappy childhood, not really. My mum and dad spoiled me rotten to be honest. I will not forsake them just because I have found my first parents. Yet my first parents have a big part of my life maybe bigger then they realize. But that's allright.
I have siblings that I visited and met, but now I'd like to take the next step. Moving to Korea in order to become a real part of the family. That doesn't mean I cast away my time in Sweden, by no means.
I don't want to neccessarily stop adoption from Korea, but I wouldn't choose adoption myself.
I don't have to explain my decision or defend it not even apologize for it. If you have followed my blog , then you'll already know my standpoint. And please, if you choose to adopt then by all means do I respect your decision and I hope people could accept my personal opinion to ot do so. Not everyone wants to become parents not even by biology.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Reconnecting
What's It Like
Monday, 9 April 2012
What's It Like
If I would be able to choose where I'd like to live I would choose Korea. That's more than just a fact a wish or whatever. And I have connections in Korea ; but not just my first family. People don't seem to realize that if you're adopted from the same country and in the same age you have many things in common and you might share other things. So yes, I know other KADS as well.
Sometimes I still wonder how I can make my second parents realize that the person that they used to know doesn't live any longer... Or she does, I'm still around but by changing my personal name I changed a part of my identity but they refuse to see it that way. I don't know how I can make them realize how much I really changed...
At this point in time I wonder what I need to do too get my message across, do I need to make the ultimate sacrifice just too make them realize that it's more than just fix idea or plain stupidity or stubborness... Would I have to renounce myself from them, cutting of all ties with them. Living my childhood, my teens, my ubringbing and all memories behind...
I'm not sure anymore all I know is too things at this point in time. One; my adoption is starting to get the best out of me. Society dictates what they expect of you, and then you just can't be a person with one foot in Europe and the other overseas. You have too make a choice or not be as close to your first family as you might attempt to be or even like too be. To me that's sounds just backwards.
Two: I don't like living in Sweden, not any longer. There are too much prejudices and presumptions around people who aren't ethnically Europeans or Swedes in particular. Basically, I think anywhere else is better than here. Sweden is way to bureaucratic these days, wanting to do everything by the book. And don't get me started on the rationalizations, they're everywhere!!! Instead of lowering the unemployment rate , it seems like companies and employees are more interested in maximizing their earnings and producations replacing man with machines.
©Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Reconnecting
Opinions
Sometimes I still wonder how I can make my second parents realize that the person that they used to know doesn't live any longer... Or she does, I'm still around but by changing my personal name I changed a part of my identity but they refuse to see it that way. I don't know how I can make them realize how much I really changed...
At this point in time I wonder what I need to do too get my message across, do I need to make the ultimate sacrifice just too make them realize that it's more than just fix idea or plain stupidity or stubborness... Would I have to renounce myself from them, cutting of all ties with them. Living my childhood, my teens, my ubringbing and all memories behind...
I'm not sure anymore all I know is too things at this point in time. One; my adoption is starting to get the best out of me. Society dictates what they expect of you, and then you just can't be a person with one foot in Europe and the other overseas. You have too make a choice or not be as close to your first family as you might attempt to be or even like too be. To me that's sounds just backwards.
Two: I don't like living in Sweden, not any longer. There are too much prejudices and presumptions around people who aren't ethnically Europeans or Swedes in particular. Basically, I think anywhere else is better than here. Sweden is way to bureaucratic these days, wanting to do everything by the book. And don't get me started on the rationalizations, they're everywhere!!! Instead of lowering the unemployment rate , it seems like companies and employees are more interested in maximizing their earnings and producations replacing man with machines.
©Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Reconnecting
Opinions
Sunday, 25 December 2011
Obvious Opinions
I'm truely sorry that things didn't turn out the way we both imagined that it would, you must be disappointed in me and my behaviour although you never uttered a word. I thought I could abandon my Swedish values and replace them with Korean values but that task seems impossible and overbearing to me. I was foolish, I didn't believe I had that many values to replace but I was wrong I know that now.
I just wonder where we go from here, I'd like to become more Korean but I guess time has turned me into more of a Swede. I'm not like any other of your children or sisters, I'm strongheaded, independent and I act and behave more like a Swede than a Korean. For instance I can't imagine becoming a shy and timid housewife, I would never stay married to someone if they misstreated me. A failed marriage with one or two kids, is totally fine in my book. I would continue working after my wedding and I can't imagine staying home and raise my children I'd like to work to earn a living instead. I could even imagine moving far away from the parents that raised me, even overseas it doesn't mean I love them any less or would forget everything that has been.
So maybe I'm more like an Oppa than a younger Noona/Yuhdongseang because of my independent lifestyle.... But do they love me any less ?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Reconnecting
Feminism
Ibyang
Daughter Or Friend
I just wonder where we go from here, I'd like to become more Korean but I guess time has turned me into more of a Swede. I'm not like any other of your children or sisters, I'm strongheaded, independent and I act and behave more like a Swede than a Korean. For instance I can't imagine becoming a shy and timid housewife, I would never stay married to someone if they misstreated me. A failed marriage with one or two kids, is totally fine in my book. I would continue working after my wedding and I can't imagine staying home and raise my children I'd like to work to earn a living instead. I could even imagine moving far away from the parents that raised me, even overseas it doesn't mean I love them any less or would forget everything that has been.
So maybe I'm more like an Oppa than a younger Noona/Yuhdongseang because of my independent lifestyle.... But do they love me any less ?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Reconnecting
Feminism
Ibyang
Daughter Or Friend
Friday, 16 December 2011
Reconnecting
The other month I was meeting a childhood friend for the first time in 10 years, we had a lot of catching up to do( as you could expect). She didn't seem to have changed a lot, but neither of had managed to stay in toch with all of our classmates...
I of course talked a lot about Korea, and then we talked some about our families and loved ones. She seemed positively surprised to hear that my parents still were happily married after 34 years which might seem like a big accomplishment especially in these days. Then I also learned that she had a boyfriend, and she alsked me if I ever would consider dating a Swede.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Birthday Party
I of course talked a lot about Korea, and then we talked some about our families and loved ones. She seemed positively surprised to hear that my parents still were happily married after 34 years which might seem like a big accomplishment especially in these days. Then I also learned that she had a boyfriend, and she alsked me if I ever would consider dating a Swede.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Birthday Party
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Happy Lucia
Today we celebrated Lucia which originally came from Italy and there are two different celebrations one that are more common in Scandinavia and another around Italy and Spain.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Father's Day
Snow White
Santa Claus
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Father's Day
Snow White
Santa Claus
Thursday, 27 October 2011
Pandora's Box
I feel like I ruined everything, by going back to Korea. Honestly I do, but I don't regret going. I would do it all again, in a heartbeat. But I was the one that not only wanted but felt like I needed to search for them 10 years ago. It was my desire and my wish to find them, but maybe I could have been to young...
Not knowing anything about the consequences although I did speculate and imagine every imaginable scenario. Dead or sick parents, divorced parents, not wanting any contact etc. Everything feels much more intense and so messed up to tell the truth. My second reunion trip put everything in perspective although it felt and still fels like its upside down and at the knife's end.
I know I'm nagging, and I know it was my decision to initate the search but I never imagined how it would feel.... That it would feel like this... As if I'm drowning, not being able to breath screaming and cathing water in my lungs and throat...
If there was an emergency break you could use, I would use it right this minute and then get off at the next station... It's really hard to breath, I have a constant cheast pain and a nagging feeling in my chest. It feels like I played a set of Battleship and someone has managed to sink all of my ships, like someone put a bullet through my head or something and I'm trying not only to breath but live like I normally would...
I might not be able to visit my birth family any more in the future, because of what I did and what happened last time. I think I've lost them, I don't know if I ever want to see them again.
My other family, can't seem to understand anything any more, they feel like strangers. They don't feel like a family anymore, they deemand too much out of me. A few days ago I actually considered ending it with my birth family, I know that it probably is selfish and all that. But I was overwhelmed by emotions and disappointment that I naturally had to react in some way. I tore my family pictures that used to hang on my bullentinboard. It's no big deal I still have the originals on a memory stick so I could easilly print them out again if I wanted to.
What's the point of going back to Korea if you're only interested in the country and the language ... !? If I decide to continue establishing some kind of relationship with my birth family, then I probably would have some use of the Korean language. But if I decide to end it, then I guess there's no point of my going back to Korea or studying Korean. Is it even allright to feel this way, I somehow feel guilty for thinking this way...
Being adopted isn't easy, being in reunion with your birth family takes it all to another level. I guess I will not end it, it probably became to intense staying for over a month with my siblings... Afterall we're still strangers to each other even though we're sisters. Maybe we'll never truely feel like real sisters and siblings even though we share the same genes and parents. I'll stick it through, even if it's hard. Learning Korean has been a dream of mine for some years now, why should I suddenly give up on that dream !?
I know it doesn't seem logical to my mum and dad that I seriously consider learning Korean so that I can live there. But in there mind I have officially or informally broken things off with my birth family, (just because I tore some pictures up into pieces...) I still love my birth family and I know they love me too, but I think they need to be left alone because we both seem to have endured some kind of major or constant disappointment. I will contact them eventually, I promise that I will. I just need straight myself out, get my things togheter and try to sort out all of my feelings and reactions.. It may take some time. But plase, please give me the time I need. I'll try to become a person that can make you proud, if you just give me some time to catch my breath.
I've opened Pandora's box and well now it's open and I can't close it no matter how hard I try, I could of course try to through it away... I must be the world's biggest fool so completely utterly naïve , why didn't I realize that reunion would feel so bad, so intense and so hurtful. No, of course I didn't I only wanted my happy ending, I don't regret it I really don't.. How is it even possible to long, dream and desire something that might cause you so much pain and heart ache ... Why didn't I know, couldn't I have guessed... No 'cos I was to blind, only wanted to do what felt right....Can someone please teach me about the snooze button
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Mute Mood
Those Days
Greif Again
Too Young
Not knowing anything about the consequences although I did speculate and imagine every imaginable scenario. Dead or sick parents, divorced parents, not wanting any contact etc. Everything feels much more intense and so messed up to tell the truth. My second reunion trip put everything in perspective although it felt and still fels like its upside down and at the knife's end.
I know I'm nagging, and I know it was my decision to initate the search but I never imagined how it would feel.... That it would feel like this... As if I'm drowning, not being able to breath screaming and cathing water in my lungs and throat...
If there was an emergency break you could use, I would use it right this minute and then get off at the next station... It's really hard to breath, I have a constant cheast pain and a nagging feeling in my chest. It feels like I played a set of Battleship and someone has managed to sink all of my ships, like someone put a bullet through my head or something and I'm trying not only to breath but live like I normally would...
I might not be able to visit my birth family any more in the future, because of what I did and what happened last time. I think I've lost them, I don't know if I ever want to see them again.
My other family, can't seem to understand anything any more, they feel like strangers. They don't feel like a family anymore, they deemand too much out of me. A few days ago I actually considered ending it with my birth family, I know that it probably is selfish and all that. But I was overwhelmed by emotions and disappointment that I naturally had to react in some way. I tore my family pictures that used to hang on my bullentinboard. It's no big deal I still have the originals on a memory stick so I could easilly print them out again if I wanted to.
What's the point of going back to Korea if you're only interested in the country and the language ... !? If I decide to continue establishing some kind of relationship with my birth family, then I probably would have some use of the Korean language. But if I decide to end it, then I guess there's no point of my going back to Korea or studying Korean. Is it even allright to feel this way, I somehow feel guilty for thinking this way...
Being adopted isn't easy, being in reunion with your birth family takes it all to another level. I guess I will not end it, it probably became to intense staying for over a month with my siblings... Afterall we're still strangers to each other even though we're sisters. Maybe we'll never truely feel like real sisters and siblings even though we share the same genes and parents. I'll stick it through, even if it's hard. Learning Korean has been a dream of mine for some years now, why should I suddenly give up on that dream !?
I know it doesn't seem logical to my mum and dad that I seriously consider learning Korean so that I can live there. But in there mind I have officially or informally broken things off with my birth family, (just because I tore some pictures up into pieces...) I still love my birth family and I know they love me too, but I think they need to be left alone because we both seem to have endured some kind of major or constant disappointment. I will contact them eventually, I promise that I will. I just need straight myself out, get my things togheter and try to sort out all of my feelings and reactions.. It may take some time. But plase, please give me the time I need. I'll try to become a person that can make you proud, if you just give me some time to catch my breath.
I've opened Pandora's box and well now it's open and I can't close it no matter how hard I try, I could of course try to through it away... I must be the world's biggest fool so completely utterly naïve , why didn't I realize that reunion would feel so bad, so intense and so hurtful. No, of course I didn't I only wanted my happy ending, I don't regret it I really don't.. How is it even possible to long, dream and desire something that might cause you so much pain and heart ache ... Why didn't I know, couldn't I have guessed... No 'cos I was to blind, only wanted to do what felt right....Can someone please teach me about the snooze button
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Mute Mood
Those Days
Greif Again
Too Young
Sunday, 23 October 2011
Guesstimations
I should feel satisfied and contempt by now, but I don't. For many different reasons.
Turns out my birthdate only is presumed, the birthday that I celebrated for 25 years might not be my actual birthdate... Even if it turns out to be incorrect I guess I never would know, because not even my own birth parents knows that. I tried to ask them many times, but for various reasons they can't answer me.
I have been reunited with my birth family.
But as suspected my birthdate might not be my real one...
Even if I wanted to correct that, I guess I'll never know my true birthday.
Maybe that's all for the best because I think it's next to impossible to change your birthdate...
내가 언제 당신처럼 느껴질 것입니다? 내가 당신 같은 것인가? 당신은 내게 당신은 모든 다른 아이를 사랑 같은 방법으로 사랑하나요? 내게 내가 알고 싶은 진실을 얘기하자면, 난 알고 싶어요. 당신은하고 싶지 않다면 그것은 내가 울지 않겠다고 약속 거짓말을 말해 괜찮을거야. 내 형제 자매에 비해 내게 똑같은 기대합니까? 당신은 정말 나를 위해 무엇을 하시겠습니까? 어떻게 내가 내 인생을살고 싶을까요? 어떻게 당신 가족의 일부가 될 수있는가? 그것은내가 할 필요가 무엇입니까? 당신은 정말 내가 그렇게 인식한다는나에게 나 진짜가 아니라, 저를 사랑 해요 ... 당신은 내가 스웨덴에거주 또는 당신이 나를 당신에게 가까이 살고 싶은 계속하시겠습니까? 가장 중요한 것은 무엇보다 우리는 항상 낯선 느낌 것인가?
Will I ever feel like you ? Will I ever be like one of you ? Do you love me the same way you love all your other children ? Tell me the truth I want to know, I need to know. If you don't want to it's allright to tell a lie I promise I won't cry. Do you expect the same thing from me compared to my siblings ? What do you really want for me ? How do you want me to live my life ? How can I become a part of your family ? What is it that I need to do? Do you really love me for me , the real me not just the me that you percieve that I am... Do you want me to continue living in Sweden or would you like me to live closer to you ? Most importantly than anything else will we always feel like strangers ?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Second Summary
Repeating Destiny
Turns out my birthdate only is presumed, the birthday that I celebrated for 25 years might not be my actual birthdate... Even if it turns out to be incorrect I guess I never would know, because not even my own birth parents knows that. I tried to ask them many times, but for various reasons they can't answer me.
I have been reunited with my birth family.
But as suspected my birthdate might not be my real one...
Even if I wanted to correct that, I guess I'll never know my true birthday.
Maybe that's all for the best because I think it's next to impossible to change your birthdate...
내가 언제 당신처럼 느껴질 것입니다? 내가 당신 같은 것인가? 당신은 내게 당신은 모든 다른 아이를 사랑 같은 방법으로 사랑하나요? 내게 내가 알고 싶은 진실을 얘기하자면, 난 알고 싶어요. 당신은하고 싶지 않다면 그것은 내가 울지 않겠다고 약속 거짓말을 말해 괜찮을거야. 내 형제 자매에 비해 내게 똑같은 기대합니까? 당신은 정말 나를 위해 무엇을 하시겠습니까? 어떻게 내가 내 인생을살고 싶을까요? 어떻게 당신 가족의 일부가 될 수있는가? 그것은내가 할 필요가 무엇입니까? 당신은 정말 내가 그렇게 인식한다는나에게 나 진짜가 아니라, 저를 사랑 해요 ... 당신은 내가 스웨덴에거주 또는 당신이 나를 당신에게 가까이 살고 싶은 계속하시겠습니까? 가장 중요한 것은 무엇보다 우리는 항상 낯선 느낌 것인가?
Will I ever feel like you ? Will I ever be like one of you ? Do you love me the same way you love all your other children ? Tell me the truth I want to know, I need to know. If you don't want to it's allright to tell a lie I promise I won't cry. Do you expect the same thing from me compared to my siblings ? What do you really want for me ? How do you want me to live my life ? How can I become a part of your family ? What is it that I need to do? Do you really love me for me , the real me not just the me that you percieve that I am... Do you want me to continue living in Sweden or would you like me to live closer to you ? Most importantly than anything else will we always feel like strangers ?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Second Summary
Repeating Destiny
Thursday, 20 October 2011
One Of Those Days
I have never considered myself to be beautiful or even cute. If someone says I am, I will most likely not believe !!! Honestly. I have heard the most hurtful comments and name calling.
I've even been called a negro and told to go back home from where I came from. So no I can't say that I'm beautiful , handsome, cute or sweet because so far few people have managed to convince me that I am. To many people have said nast thing so I've almost started to believe it.
We can't exchange pictures with anybody else then her because the pictures are so ugly but she's just as ugly...
I don't believe I'll ever marry someone , or no I don't want to marry someone getting that close and dependent of someone seems scary especially if you're only used to people leaving you or people that want you to believe they are your friend when they actually are really mean to you...
I think I easilly could became a nun if it hadn't been for the God thing because celibacy is a no brainer to me . And I don't have to marry just to give my birth parents some grandchildren because they already have six of them and may get more very soon... or when one of them marries. My Swedish parents have another child besides me, I'll leave the family planning part to him. I'm happy as long as I have my Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde cat. I think cat's will be my future, I'll go on living on lonely mountain top only surrounded by wild nature and animals. I like animals because they never betray you like humans can do, I prefer cats over dogs even I'll get like 1000 scars and bites from them. I'm sorry but dogs smell a lot and very often .
I know I should be grateful that I managed to go on a second reunion after maintaning my Online reunion for 9 years. And yes I am, but I realize that it may be hard for most adoptees to locate their birth families but the hard part isn't over then. It's only the beginning because know you have to decide on the next step, if you should the relationship further or leave it as it is. Starting to learn Korean can be very useful and maybe even neccessary once you've found your birth family because not knowing the language makes you lose out on a lot . It can be managable yes, but it would still be much easier if you could speak the same language because then a lot of misunderstandings could be avioded. But don't expect too much though, being raised in a different culture have most likely expossed you to other values different than Korean ones. There's potential for a lot of misunderstandings and conflicts just there.
Uncountiously I ask myself how much you can expect your birth family to forgive, is it really worth possibly hurting them by not doing things their way ... Will they still love you the next day and in the future... To be honest I'm constantly aware of that and based on self experience it seems they are able to forgive quite a lot because you're family afterall.
I thought this second trip would provide much needed answers to unasked questions but it didn't instead I got a reality check which made me aware of how different we are compared to each other it made me realize that yes I've found my birth family but I still don't know them. Not as well as you would have had you been raised in the same family. I confess that I'm jelaous of many things they had things I never had a chance to experience although it probaly sounds really strange. I thought this trip would make me complete fill the emptiness within my heart and soul but it hasn't so I probably have to look elsewhere for those answers. And until I find them I don't think it's wise to think about involving someone else in your life and potential future.
I guess I'm blind to pick up comments and compliments, because so far I've never noticed anyone that could be even the slightest interested in me. That's fine and healthy. But then again how much life experience could I possibly have accumulated over my short life... I think I' still pretty naïve in certain areas of life but then again I'm not even dry behind my ears yet (Swedish expression).
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Party's Over
E.T Phone Home
Repeating Destiny
I've even been called a negro and told to go back home from where I came from. So no I can't say that I'm beautiful , handsome, cute or sweet because so far few people have managed to convince me that I am. To many people have said nast thing so I've almost started to believe it.
We can't exchange pictures with anybody else then her because the pictures are so ugly but she's just as ugly...
I don't believe I'll ever marry someone , or no I don't want to marry someone getting that close and dependent of someone seems scary especially if you're only used to people leaving you or people that want you to believe they are your friend when they actually are really mean to you...
I think I easilly could became a nun if it hadn't been for the God thing because celibacy is a no brainer to me . And I don't have to marry just to give my birth parents some grandchildren because they already have six of them and may get more very soon... or when one of them marries. My Swedish parents have another child besides me, I'll leave the family planning part to him. I'm happy as long as I have my Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde cat. I think cat's will be my future, I'll go on living on lonely mountain top only surrounded by wild nature and animals. I like animals because they never betray you like humans can do, I prefer cats over dogs even I'll get like 1000 scars and bites from them. I'm sorry but dogs smell a lot and very often .
I know I should be grateful that I managed to go on a second reunion after maintaning my Online reunion for 9 years. And yes I am, but I realize that it may be hard for most adoptees to locate their birth families but the hard part isn't over then. It's only the beginning because know you have to decide on the next step, if you should the relationship further or leave it as it is. Starting to learn Korean can be very useful and maybe even neccessary once you've found your birth family because not knowing the language makes you lose out on a lot . It can be managable yes, but it would still be much easier if you could speak the same language because then a lot of misunderstandings could be avioded. But don't expect too much though, being raised in a different culture have most likely expossed you to other values different than Korean ones. There's potential for a lot of misunderstandings and conflicts just there.
Uncountiously I ask myself how much you can expect your birth family to forgive, is it really worth possibly hurting them by not doing things their way ... Will they still love you the next day and in the future... To be honest I'm constantly aware of that and based on self experience it seems they are able to forgive quite a lot because you're family afterall.
I thought this second trip would provide much needed answers to unasked questions but it didn't instead I got a reality check which made me aware of how different we are compared to each other it made me realize that yes I've found my birth family but I still don't know them. Not as well as you would have had you been raised in the same family. I confess that I'm jelaous of many things they had things I never had a chance to experience although it probaly sounds really strange. I thought this trip would make me complete fill the emptiness within my heart and soul but it hasn't so I probably have to look elsewhere for those answers. And until I find them I don't think it's wise to think about involving someone else in your life and potential future.
I guess I'm blind to pick up comments and compliments, because so far I've never noticed anyone that could be even the slightest interested in me. That's fine and healthy. But then again how much life experience could I possibly have accumulated over my short life... I think I' still pretty naïve in certain areas of life but then again I'm not even dry behind my ears yet (Swedish expression).
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Party's Over
E.T Phone Home
Repeating Destiny
Sunday, 18 September 2011
Back Home
Normally I would be attending classes in university or look for jobs going on job interviews and such.. but no instead I'm here. Back in Seoul for a crash course in Korean and culture combining it with a visit at my birth family celebrating Chuseok and 엄마의 생일.
Dad is retired making reparations at home or at our summer house, mum is still working as a teacher and will 60년 turn this year. My brother is very busy having a big social life, three jobs and is almost never home. He told me some weeks ago that he is considering applying for university studies next semester. Both mym and my brother has gone back to work.. I do feel a little guilty for not staying at home I must confess.
I miss the weekly workouts at the gym with dad and also baking cookies and cakes. I knew beforehand of the Swedish caffeé so I did go there one day and I bought Cinnemon buns to take home. But making them yourelf is the best, nothing beats homemade Cinnemon buns! Trust me.
Learned the other day that my adoptive brother probably will have moved out (to live on his own) by the time I'm back in Sweden. I ceratinly didn't expect that one... About two weeks ago we held a funeral for my paternal grandmother she passed away at the respectable age of 94... Imagine that, I wonder I ever will be that old...
© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Latest From Sweden
Dad is retired making reparations at home or at our summer house, mum is still working as a teacher and will 60년 turn this year. My brother is very busy having a big social life, three jobs and is almost never home. He told me some weeks ago that he is considering applying for university studies next semester. Both mym and my brother has gone back to work.. I do feel a little guilty for not staying at home I must confess.
I miss the weekly workouts at the gym with dad and also baking cookies and cakes. I knew beforehand of the Swedish caffeé so I did go there one day and I bought Cinnemon buns to take home. But making them yourelf is the best, nothing beats homemade Cinnemon buns! Trust me.
Learned the other day that my adoptive brother probably will have moved out (to live on his own) by the time I'm back in Sweden. I ceratinly didn't expect that one... About two weeks ago we held a funeral for my paternal grandmother she passed away at the respectable age of 94... Imagine that, I wonder I ever will be that old...
© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Latest From Sweden
Sunday, 11 September 2011
Postcard From Seoul
Dear mum and dad, I've now been in Seoul for a few weeks. Things are going as expected and everybody is very nice too me. It's very hot here though even if thet say it's autumn in Seoul now. I hope you are doing well.
아자아자 화이팅!
I'm realizing that there's so many things I miss about Sweden , the place I'm used to , the place where I grew up and also the place where I live. But it's not the place where I was born...
© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Sleepless In Seoul
Foreign Tourist
Lost In Seoul
아자아자 화이팅!
I'm realizing that there's so many things I miss about Sweden , the place I'm used to , the place where I grew up and also the place where I live. But it's not the place where I was born...
© Taste Of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Sleepless In Seoul
Foreign Tourist
Lost In Seoul
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Adoptees Rights For Parents Not Siblings
As you all know by now Korea is determined slowly cut of inter country adoptions (whenever possible) which means that they will try to make bigger effort in first of all keeping children with their birth parents or immediate family or relative and if the birth family for some reason isn't capable of caring for the child they would either try to get the child adopted to another family in Korea or maybe put in a foster home.
At a last resort the government supposedly would have to consent to international adoption.
Let's say you already have adopted once and know you're interested to add to your family by adopting another child from the same country (which would become the first child's sibling.) The government has enabled adoptive parents to get state funded help which would encourage adoptive parents to adopt more than one child.
Here's the difference when a child can't be raised by its birth parents or close relatives and the option of placing him in foster home or being adopted domestically by other Koreans if all of those efforts have failed. Then and only then would a child be placed up for adoption. The child has a right to be raised by parents (bloodrelated or not) and also to a family.
But the adoptee has no right to become a sibling (by adoption) even though the Swedish government is encouraging adoptive parents to adopt more than one child.
Do you think adoptees should be entitled to siblings? Would you have liked a sibling or two (if you were a lonely child) ?
I solved the issue with my comments I switched from Internet Explorer to another webbrowser. Problem solved.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Mother May
Seoul Siblings
My Brother
At a last resort the government supposedly would have to consent to international adoption.
Let's say you already have adopted once and know you're interested to add to your family by adopting another child from the same country (which would become the first child's sibling.) The government has enabled adoptive parents to get state funded help which would encourage adoptive parents to adopt more than one child.
Here's the difference when a child can't be raised by its birth parents or close relatives and the option of placing him in foster home or being adopted domestically by other Koreans if all of those efforts have failed. Then and only then would a child be placed up for adoption. The child has a right to be raised by parents (bloodrelated or not) and also to a family.
But the adoptee has no right to become a sibling (by adoption) even though the Swedish government is encouraging adoptive parents to adopt more than one child.
Do you think adoptees should be entitled to siblings? Would you have liked a sibling or two (if you were a lonely child) ?
I solved the issue with my comments I switched from Internet Explorer to another webbrowser. Problem solved.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Mother May
Seoul Siblings
My Brother
Monday, 22 August 2011
Latest From Sweden
Sweden defeated Australia with 3 -1 and will play in the Olympics... Hope they do well.
Swedes eat more unhealthy now compared to some 20 years ago... Who's to blame ?
Crime Novels the bomb what about Dirty Crime, Elegant Crime, Wine Crime or Stockholm Noir ? And the great success of Wallander and Millennium trilogy has now also been turned into a American movie...
Swedish HRH Crown Princess Victoria an expecting mother, but remember she's not the first pregnant mother and the child is yet to be born.
Saab's road down to nothing... many companies seems to have fallen this last couple of months first Saab then Onoff. Who's next?
This morning a few hours ago my grandmother passed away, she became ill yesterday. Dad is sad , cries sometimes but tries to be brave. His mother became 95 years and she managed to keep a clear head and she never had to be on bedrest. Now I'm thinking it might be selfish of me to travel to Korea to see my other family (even though it's someting I wanted to do for a long time), maybe it's selfish of me... I will most likely miss my grandmother's funeral since I will be gone for a little over a month (that is if I do decide to). I only have grandparent left now on my mother's side it's my grandmother she's 88...
I don't know much, anything about my Korean grandparents they could have died and passed away without me ever finding out. My Omma no longer has contact with her side of the family and they only see dad's side of the family on special occissions like weddings and such.
Hey, what's wrong with blogger I can't seem to leave comments on other peoples blogs, it says something about me not having permission for that identity. Weired. And annoying.
This entry is already a mismatch of basically everything so here's some more I have an account on tumblr now.
(c)Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Perfect Adoptee
Family Values
Stand By Me
Last Letter
Seoul News
Swedes eat more unhealthy now compared to some 20 years ago... Who's to blame ?
Crime Novels the bomb what about Dirty Crime, Elegant Crime, Wine Crime or Stockholm Noir ? And the great success of Wallander and Millennium trilogy has now also been turned into a American movie...
Swedish HRH Crown Princess Victoria an expecting mother, but remember she's not the first pregnant mother and the child is yet to be born.
Saab's road down to nothing... many companies seems to have fallen this last couple of months first Saab then Onoff. Who's next?
This morning a few hours ago my grandmother passed away, she became ill yesterday. Dad is sad , cries sometimes but tries to be brave. His mother became 95 years and she managed to keep a clear head and she never had to be on bedrest. Now I'm thinking it might be selfish of me to travel to Korea to see my other family (even though it's someting I wanted to do for a long time), maybe it's selfish of me... I will most likely miss my grandmother's funeral since I will be gone for a little over a month (that is if I do decide to). I only have grandparent left now on my mother's side it's my grandmother she's 88...
I don't know much, anything about my Korean grandparents they could have died and passed away without me ever finding out. My Omma no longer has contact with her side of the family and they only see dad's side of the family on special occissions like weddings and such.
Hey, what's wrong with blogger I can't seem to leave comments on other peoples blogs, it says something about me not having permission for that identity. Weired. And annoying.
This entry is already a mismatch of basically everything so here's some more I have an account on tumblr now.
(c)Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Perfect Adoptee
Family Values
Stand By Me
Last Letter
Seoul News
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
They Did It Again
Some years ago there was a rather controversial movie about a gay couple wanting to become parents.
Last month another (Swedish) movie with a similiar scenario premiered, this time the leading parts was portrayed by two women and not men like in the previous movie. This one is titled Kiss Me or Kyss Mig (original title).
Other Swedish movies that I recommend is Jag saknar dig, jag saknar dig which originally was a book now turned into a movie. I remember I loved that book when I was teenager.
Försvunnen, is another potentially good (Swedish) movie but this one is thriller unlike the others.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
No Dairy
Jante
Korean Adoption
Adoption Changes
Last month another (Swedish) movie with a similiar scenario premiered, this time the leading parts was portrayed by two women and not men like in the previous movie. This one is titled Kiss Me or Kyss Mig (original title).
Other Swedish movies that I recommend is Jag saknar dig, jag saknar dig which originally was a book now turned into a movie. I remember I loved that book when I was teenager.
Försvunnen, is another potentially good (Swedish) movie but this one is thriller unlike the others.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
No Dairy
Jante
Korean Adoption
Adoption Changes
Friday, 22 July 2011
Swedish Tourist Sights
- The Swedish archipelago (Stockholm)
- The Turning Torso (Malmo)
- Gota Canal, (Mem - Sjotorp)
- Liseberg, Goteborg (Amusement park)
- Gränna, Peppermint Rock Candy making
- Visby, Gotland
- High Chaparall, Wild West theme park
- Skane & Smaland (Wilhem Moberg & Astrid Lindgren)
- Ice Hotel, Jukkasjärvi
- Falu mine, Falun
- Båstad (Tennis week, Norrvikens trädgårdar)
- Gamla Stan, Stockholm (old buildings)
- Kolmården, zoo with car safari
- Vasa Museum, Stockholm
- Skansen, Stockholm (theme park)
- Grona Lund, Stockholm (Amusement park)
Funny places to stay ?
- Norrqvarns Trollstubbar, Lyrestad
- Undervattenshotellet, Utter - Inn, Västerås
- Hotell Hackspett, Västerås
- Hotell Andarum, Hornbergarsjön
- Sala Silvergruva, gruvskikt
- Jumbo hostel, Arlanda
- Prison cell, Långholmen
- Af Chapman, Stockholm
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
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Korean Restaurants
Saturday, 2 July 2011
Korean Restaurants In Sthlm
If you're in Sweden or more particularly Stockholm, you might want to eat at a Korean restaurant right? Maybe it's promoting them, maybe no hopefully it's useful information for someone...
Arirang, Norrmalm, Stockholm,
Nam Kang, Östermalm,Stockholm
Soraksan, Solna Business Park,
Also be aware of the fact that I consider this as useful information especially for those looking eat Korean food while in Stockholm. There may also be other restaurants, but these are those I know about...
Maybe it's like free advertising or promotion..., but I don't think it is because I don't get payed...
Now you all at least know where too go and that's good , right? By the way no one is paying me to blog about something apart from my adsense ads everything else is chosen by me...
Related posts:
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Arirang, Norrmalm, Stockholm,
Nam Kang, Östermalm,Stockholm
Soraksan, Solna Business Park,
Also be aware of the fact that I consider this as useful information especially for those looking eat Korean food while in Stockholm. There may also be other restaurants, but these are those I know about...
Maybe it's like free advertising or promotion..., but I don't think it is because I don't get payed...
Now you all at least know where too go and that's good , right? By the way no one is paying me to blog about something apart from my adsense ads everything else is chosen by me...
Related posts:
Bread Recepies
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Swedish Summer
It's supposed to be time filled with happiness, hopes and laughter. (But I know many, many people who don't experience the same or even just a tiny bit of what I define as Swedish summer).
School's out and you can relax, play with your friends, sunbath outside, go fishing at the lake, swimming every day, go on overseas vacation. Eat strawberries, pick mushrooms, lingon berries and blueberries...
How do you celebrate summer ? What do you do on your holidays? How will you spend this summer?
Do you by any chance happen to know why we celebrate our national day on the 6th of June ? And what do you think we celebrate? Guess away, I'll answer very soon...
Personally I havn't felt like it's summer yet, I still have my bit of summer fun left... ^^ Because of the crisis in Greece you could easilly find a cheap Greece vacation for under 1000 SEK... That is if you dare to take your chances...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
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Swedish Upbringing
School's out and you can relax, play with your friends, sunbath outside, go fishing at the lake, swimming every day, go on overseas vacation. Eat strawberries, pick mushrooms, lingon berries and blueberries...
How do you celebrate summer ? What do you do on your holidays? How will you spend this summer?
Do you by any chance happen to know why we celebrate our national day on the 6th of June ? And what do you think we celebrate? Guess away, I'll answer very soon...
Personally I havn't felt like it's summer yet, I still have my bit of summer fun left... ^^ Because of the crisis in Greece you could easilly find a cheap Greece vacation for under 1000 SEK... That is if you dare to take your chances...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Korea
Fear Of Flying
Swedish Upbringing
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Swedish Upbringing
I know many Swedes that probably wasn't able to celebrate Midsummer's Eve, because a majority of employees at SAAB was told they wouldn't get their expected salary for Midsummer. The company has no money to pay their employees salaries, but there's appparently a small chance that they will get their money later in this week. Surprisingly enough the Chinese seems to have more faith in SAAB than, well no one else...
As I mentioned before Sweden is actually struggeling with poverty that affects children....
Read barnfattigbloggen here (Swedish) . And why not when you're at it, also read fattigbloggen (Swedish again)...
What does it mean to live in Sweden (really)? Or more importantly what does it mean to grow up in Sweden not only as an adoptee but a Korean adoptee.. ?
Well, that's a though one and I only have my own life to compare with (so it might not be so accurate).
I was never meant to be your girl,
I'm not a product of your love
The eyes which I use to gaze upon the world
It's not your eyes
Yet it is your wourld that I see
When I look into the mirror it is not your face that I see
I see the face of someone else
When I speak I speak your language
Yet you cannot understand me...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
And yes, the poem continues but I will not publish the rest ( it can be interpreted in two ways as it is now, but only one is correct)... I don't mean to offend anyone, I'm truely sorry if I do but it's not my purpose of blogging.
Sorry if this entry is a bit confussing, I hope you the message anyways... This poem was one that I wrote straight up from my head and it isn't meant to be uppsetting but it might still be...
Related posts:
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Best Thing
Being Earnest
As I mentioned before Sweden is actually struggeling with poverty that affects children....
Read barnfattigbloggen here (Swedish) . And why not when you're at it, also read fattigbloggen (Swedish again)...
What does it mean to live in Sweden (really)? Or more importantly what does it mean to grow up in Sweden not only as an adoptee but a Korean adoptee.. ?
Well, that's a though one and I only have my own life to compare with (so it might not be so accurate).
- You want to know where you came from (genealogy research is really popular)
- People (genearlly speaking) accepts you if you're adopted but not so much if you're a immigrant...
- People tell you to be grateful
- Everyone thinks it's ok to ask all kinds of personal questions to you
- You may get unwanted advice one in a while
- If you by some chance manage to find your birthfamily people want to know all about it
I was never meant to be your girl,
I'm not a product of your love
The eyes which I use to gaze upon the world
It's not your eyes
Yet it is your wourld that I see
When I look into the mirror it is not your face that I see
I see the face of someone else
When I speak I speak your language
Yet you cannot understand me...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
And yes, the poem continues but I will not publish the rest ( it can be interpreted in two ways as it is now, but only one is correct)... I don't mean to offend anyone, I'm truely sorry if I do but it's not my purpose of blogging.
Sorry if this entry is a bit confussing, I hope you the message anyways... This poem was one that I wrote straight up from my head and it isn't meant to be uppsetting but it might still be...
Related posts:
Swedish Music
What's Seoul
Best Thing
Being Earnest
Sunday, 19 June 2011
Employee Benefits
This sort of employment benefits really makes me annoyed because you can't possibly compare a child to a fancy car, or let alone an increased salary can you ? A child is not something you can return if you might grow boored with it, regardless of explanation there's no excuse for putting a child into the world unless you love the other person. And have mentally prepared to become a parent. (But of course, there's children that aren't fortunate enough to grow up under such circumstances...)
It's actually true in 21th century Sweden a muncipality is offering their employees an extra benefit, they will be not only supported in their decision to become parents and start a family but also encouraged to do so because the population density is at a level that is very low...
At present the muncipality is enabling employees to start a family through both assisted pregnancy and adoption. (assisted pregnancy is a word I use to describe what I mean since I don't want to use such words in this blog). Should we really allow employers to make such a life changing decisions for us?
Shouldn't it be more important and best for all involved parts, if the employers didn't have to feel forced to use such carrots when they look for new employees? Isn't it almost like playing good?
I suppose you all heard about the woman's right to hear own body and right to chose abortion. Ultimately a life is always a life and the muncipality might feel like they've come up with a solution to ensure that they keep their staff while getting new at the same time as the population density is increasing...
But is it really morally correct ? I'm aware of the fact that both assisted pregnancy and adoption are hughly costly process to increase ones chances to become parents. And I do think it's good that we do have those options today. Yet, as far as I know the government is already supporting couples that decide they want to try these options... (the Swedish state supports assisted pregnancies that is, and you can get the montly child child support from state if you do adopt).
Is it really neccessary then to use such measures to ensure that your employees feel happy ? Isn't they forgeting something rather imortant, what about the child's right?
I'm not saying or implying that children born out of this solution are less loved than other children, what I'm saying is once more that people seems to consider it every person's right to become a parent. I'd say that is wrong, not all people are fit to become parents although a child does have a right to parents or at least economic security. (Which unfortunately isn't always met..)
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Discount Adoptee
Moral Dilemma
It's actually true in 21th century Sweden a muncipality is offering their employees an extra benefit, they will be not only supported in their decision to become parents and start a family but also encouraged to do so because the population density is at a level that is very low...
At present the muncipality is enabling employees to start a family through both assisted pregnancy and adoption. (assisted pregnancy is a word I use to describe what I mean since I don't want to use such words in this blog). Should we really allow employers to make such a life changing decisions for us?
Shouldn't it be more important and best for all involved parts, if the employers didn't have to feel forced to use such carrots when they look for new employees? Isn't it almost like playing good?
I suppose you all heard about the woman's right to hear own body and right to chose abortion. Ultimately a life is always a life and the muncipality might feel like they've come up with a solution to ensure that they keep their staff while getting new at the same time as the population density is increasing...
But is it really morally correct ? I'm aware of the fact that both assisted pregnancy and adoption are hughly costly process to increase ones chances to become parents. And I do think it's good that we do have those options today. Yet, as far as I know the government is already supporting couples that decide they want to try these options... (the Swedish state supports assisted pregnancies that is, and you can get the montly child child support from state if you do adopt).
Is it really neccessary then to use such measures to ensure that your employees feel happy ? Isn't they forgeting something rather imortant, what about the child's right?
I'm not saying or implying that children born out of this solution are less loved than other children, what I'm saying is once more that people seems to consider it every person's right to become a parent. I'd say that is wrong, not all people are fit to become parents although a child does have a right to parents or at least economic security. (Which unfortunately isn't always met..)
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Discount Adoptee
Moral Dilemma
Thursday, 16 June 2011
Discount Adoptee
This might be a beautiful thought I'm not sure, but my adoptive parents were able to have a second child some years after my arrival. The government stepped in and offered some kind of adoptee discount or adoptee state funding for a second adoptive child. Which would ensure that adoptive children didn't have to grow up as single children, if the adoptive parents would like to have more than one child regardless of economic status that is...
I can understand the purpose of it, but personally I know that the notion of my adoptive brother never can replace the loss from my birth family. Yet I also know that my adoptive brother feels more like my real brother and in a way we are because we were both raised by the same (adoptive) parents.
But somehow this makes me feel like an item for sale, but the only difference is that it's not items it's human beings, innocent children, in some cases even orphans. Buy three get, the third one for free or buy two for one. Those kind of deals, which I think most of you are more familar with...
Of course adoptive parents might be able to help two unfortunate children instead of only one, although some might argue that doing that only would make them responsible for separating two families or alienating two children instead of one.
I'd say everything is relative, there's benefits and negatives to every aspect in life. Some might have benefited from adoption more than others, while some feel might feel the opposite.. No, there's no easy answer just follow your heart and stay true to yourself and the things that you believe in...
I'm not against a state funding per see but I'm afraid that such a knowledge to be known by the adoptees might cause a permanent feeling of inferiority complex. Sort of like knowing that yes I was adopted, so was my younger sibling/siblings but they are worth less then me.
Is the eldest child's life more valuable than the life of a younger child? How are the agencies and adoptive parents supposed to handle this dilemma ? Should they tell their children about this or not?
If the agencies and state's insists of keeping this wouldn't it be better if such information was made sealed (as to not harm the adoptees)? Should adoptive children be allowed access of such information?
Isn't it like putting a prize tag on love ?
Please be aware that I'm not against people that wants to adopt, not even those who might consider adopting more than once. I'm only asking what good such knowledge could be to the ones involved; the adoptees.
I almost forgot that yes, I generally suppport people's rights to become parents, but it's more important to safeguard the right of the adoptee instead of the prospective adoptive parents. Just a day or so ago I learned that a Swedish couple had adopted a little boy and they were overjoyed with happiness. But the final documents which would have abolished the birth mother's parental right wasn't signed yet and the time for the birth mother to retake her child had not passed. So it just so happened that the birth mother in fact did ask to regain her child, the one she recently had given up.
This might not be related to my main message of this post but I still think it is just as important. Yet I'm not familiar with particular case, neither do I know this couple. This last piece might add nothing of importance to the actual post other than reminding me of what's important for future posts...
(Which of course again, could be discussed... what's important to me might not be important to you)...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Adoption Swedish Style
Word Of Advice
Swedish Agencies
Pain And Greif
Return To Sender
I can understand the purpose of it, but personally I know that the notion of my adoptive brother never can replace the loss from my birth family. Yet I also know that my adoptive brother feels more like my real brother and in a way we are because we were both raised by the same (adoptive) parents.
But somehow this makes me feel like an item for sale, but the only difference is that it's not items it's human beings, innocent children, in some cases even orphans. Buy three get, the third one for free or buy two for one. Those kind of deals, which I think most of you are more familar with...
Of course adoptive parents might be able to help two unfortunate children instead of only one, although some might argue that doing that only would make them responsible for separating two families or alienating two children instead of one.
I'd say everything is relative, there's benefits and negatives to every aspect in life. Some might have benefited from adoption more than others, while some feel might feel the opposite.. No, there's no easy answer just follow your heart and stay true to yourself and the things that you believe in...
I'm not against a state funding per see but I'm afraid that such a knowledge to be known by the adoptees might cause a permanent feeling of inferiority complex. Sort of like knowing that yes I was adopted, so was my younger sibling/siblings but they are worth less then me.
Is the eldest child's life more valuable than the life of a younger child? How are the agencies and adoptive parents supposed to handle this dilemma ? Should they tell their children about this or not?
If the agencies and state's insists of keeping this wouldn't it be better if such information was made sealed (as to not harm the adoptees)? Should adoptive children be allowed access of such information?
Isn't it like putting a prize tag on love ?
Please be aware that I'm not against people that wants to adopt, not even those who might consider adopting more than once. I'm only asking what good such knowledge could be to the ones involved; the adoptees.
I almost forgot that yes, I generally suppport people's rights to become parents, but it's more important to safeguard the right of the adoptee instead of the prospective adoptive parents. Just a day or so ago I learned that a Swedish couple had adopted a little boy and they were overjoyed with happiness. But the final documents which would have abolished the birth mother's parental right wasn't signed yet and the time for the birth mother to retake her child had not passed. So it just so happened that the birth mother in fact did ask to regain her child, the one she recently had given up.
This might not be related to my main message of this post but I still think it is just as important. Yet I'm not familiar with particular case, neither do I know this couple. This last piece might add nothing of importance to the actual post other than reminding me of what's important for future posts...
(Which of course again, could be discussed... what's important to me might not be important to you)...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Adoption Swedish Style
Word Of Advice
Swedish Agencies
Pain And Greif
Return To Sender
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