I didn't intend to make prospective adoptive parents afraid of adopting internationally, neither did I attemp to try to make them have a change of heart. I do respect that people have different value systems and I don't intent to change them. I'm avare of the fact that my case for adoption might be one of the few excepetions from the rule, but I do stress that I still don't know exactly what happened or know the entire story. And I assume it would be hard to prove if this that has happened to me is common, I don't think it is. Based on this I might come across as angry, sad and maybe even resentful...
Hopefully I'm the only exception to the basic rule but since I don't know for sure if anyone has had the same thing happen I would let that rest its case. Yet I also know that because of the many Korean children that is being adopted and has been adopted so far I'm sure I'm not the only who have been a victim of irregularity of some kind. Not all Korean birth mother's are single mothers, unmarried or widowed some are married and maybe even have had other children in the past... But just be aware of the fact that your child's real family history and reason for adoption might be more complicated then you think...
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
My Personal Experience
Hi! This is Kim. You added me to your blogroll, so I've been reading your blog for the past week. Just throwing another opinion out there... but this is a Korean adoptee who doesn't see anything wrong with international adoptions, as long as the adoptive parents are doing it for the right reasons. I think a loving home is always a better place for a child, no matter the circumstances. My husband and I plan to adopt, probably from Korea, in the future. I visited the Korean orphanage my younger brother lived at before he joined our family. The owner told us that of the 75 kids under the age of 5 living there, only NINE joined Korean forever families last year. What will become of the rest of them? (This is an orphanage that is only allowed to do domestic adoptions.) Looking into the eyes of these children, there's no way it's a better life for them to be raised in a crowded room with 12 other kids. Unless something changes within Korean society, there will continue to be far too many unwanted children. And if the only way they can find loving homes is through international adoptions, in my opinion, so be it.
ReplyDeleteEvery adoptee has a different story. I'm sorry yours was such a negative, painful experience. I wasn't commenting to attack your position, I just thought I'd throw another perspective into the mix. I think international adoption (with the situation in Korea as it currently is) is something we can just agree to disagree on. :o)
ReplyDeleteOh and I meant a lot of different things when I said a "loving home". Mostly parents that will love the child unconditionally (without the "I saved me, you owe me big time" strings that you experienced) and provide a strong support for the child to reach their full potential. Also, material security is not crucial, but can help in providing the child opportunities they might not have otherwise had.
Oh, I guess your changed your blog format, but I tried to look for your "background" post. And on your current blog it doesn't exist? Or maybe it's somewhere hidden that I can't find?!?!?
ReplyDelete