Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts

Saturday, 15 June 2013

Birthmothers

What defines a mother let alone a parent ..? Is it the invested time and love or is it DNA and biology?
Sometimes I consider myself to have no parents at all since my birthparents relinquished me hours after being born. And the woman that I call mum is nothing more than a stranger to me, meaning that she is not related by blood.

Yet she raised me, knows my flaws and obsticles in life while the person I would like to be able to call Omma without getting raised eyebrows and feelings of worry is something that I cannot do. Because that woman , the other woman who gave birth to me she is not supposed to be called Omma at least not by me...

My Omma is to me now only the person who brought into the world, I used to call her my birthmother but while the term itself sounds rather clinical. I cannot even use the label mother even though I love her as a mother.


Read Lori Jane's post and conclussion on birthmothers here .            



Wednesday, 1 August 2012

If you like this blog then...

Maybe you'll appreciate, enjoy, relate or just find it interesting to see what other  bloggers are saying, thinking and experiencing.

KAD bloggers like me
Fellow Adoptees

Adoptive mothers

Birth mothers


©Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Fellow KAD bloggers

    If you think my blog has been interesting and relatable to follow then let me recommend some other just as intelligent bloggers to you.
    1. Korean War Baby
    2. Jane Jeong Trenka
    3. Mila
    4. Coloring out Lori Jane
    5. I am grown 

    Monday, 9 July 2012

    Lost Daughters

    I am happy to tell you that I am proud and grateful that to start writing permanently over at Lost Daughters. As you may or may not know there already are several other female adoptees there. I will be the second or maybe third KAD but so far the first European adoptee.

    As a Korean adoptee, there are still issues , thoughts and questions which I think are unique for KADs and Swedish adoptees. Therefore my recently created blog is where you'll find me when I'm not writing anything at Lost Daughters.

    But I am convinced and certain that since I'm a woman and an adoptee, there are still things that I share with other adoptees and  especially female adoptees.

    ©Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Tuesday, 3 July 2012

    Back again

    You may have noticed this blog has disappeared, re appeared  to only disappear again. Certain events from my birth family is the reason behind my indecisiveness (regarding this blog's future. But I think I finally have decided to just let this blog go (still keeping it around) because it was once how I felt and at some point I do still feel the same. Yet my life seems to have taken a completely different direction.

    Starting from today there will probably not be anymore updates here, if you still like to follow my life and my thoughts then I have already moved to another blog. You'll find me there from now on.http://jaesunsaysthis.wordpress.com/

    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Saturday, 24 March 2012

    Changes

    It's a bit tricky with the Internet, free access is a good thing yet there's the insecurity of not knowing who get access to your information... A few days ago I learned about two people who had had their identities stolen; one had been put as a membor off different business boards while the other had their personal things shared on a company website and ultimately her good reputation was hurt.

    Because my name is really unique I've decided to make another blog in my real name, my name could be rare and I may be the only one who has it.. in the entire world. And yeah, I did also get a new twitter account...

    There may also come changes to blog as well, I guess you never can be too careful... The off change that my Korean family finds this blog and reads it still pretty slim, although they do know more English than ordinary Koreans. But that's always pros and cons about everything and if I hadn't had this vare rare name I can say for sure that I probably would prefer being anonymous online.

    If you like the new address please send me an email at tasteofkimchi(at)gmail[dot]com ^^

    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:


    Korean Blog List


    Tears Time

    Short Introduction

    Tuesday, 20 March 2012

    Short Introduction

    I am a Korean adoptee, I was born with jaundice and treated in hospital and relinquished for adoption when I was only an infant. I spent a couple of months in an orphanage and was adopted to Sweden when I was 2,5 months old. I was raised with a younger (adoptive) brother , so we're not really really related. But if you ask my parents they can verify that we thought just as real siblings would and yes, I love him as he is my real brother. The place were I grew up was a Caucasian neighbourhood, so there weren't many other KADs or even adoptees around. It meant that I stock out a bit while growing up and I was occassionally teased.

    I decided to look for my first family at age 15, I was interested in finding my first parents and to know who I resembled if any. Yet I knew there would be a slight chance that my parents wouldn't be alive back then. But they were and I soon established contact with my siblings.

    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:


    Tears Time

    Saturday, 17 March 2012

    Tears, Time And Thoughts

    When I first started this blog I had already familiarized myself with blogging, so it wasn't something completely new.And already back then I HAD established contact with my Korean family BUT I had yet to meet them face to face...

    My first year or so I was the steroetypical adoptee; angry,sad, and feeling betrayed. It's taken me a lot time and many, many tears and thoughts to come too the place where I am now. Metaphorically speaking that is, I used to have this friend another adoptee but not KAD and things started to go down hill once I decided I wanted met my birth family... I have done so twice now and while I discovered my goal in life, the same friend could no longer understand my thoughts, opinions or wishes.

    Now when I think about it I think I reminded this person of their own thoughts and whishes, if not directly maybe unconciously if anything else. My own thoughts about identity and adoption became difficult for this friend to listen to, and more importantly I found something that this friend might never find (if they don't decide to do something to look for information ) anyways we're no longer friends. Who needs a friend who turn their back on you when you need them the most ?

    I've realized that it's ok to feel love for my first family and the one I live with, it is even allright for me to have the goal of moving to Korea. It's doable - if there's a will there's way and there's definitely a will. What's so wrong about wanting to move Korea when other people move to Norway or settle down in Spain !?

    Why should my dream be considered as unreachable when in fact I do have every reason to because I have family there. Yes I call them family - we share the same flesh and blood so that makes us family. And also I feel like I've been robbed of things with my sisters especially and I would like to get to know them all better and the only way that would be a real possibility is if I would move to Korea. I'm lucky because my mum and dad totally support me in this goal they even say they UNDERSTAND and are willing to help me realize my dream.

    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:


    Reunion Reflection

     Expectations

    Frendships

    Wednesday, 7 March 2012

    Korean Blog Top List

    Unfortunately the Koreanblogtoplist is not around any longer, the blogs may still be there but the list is not. ( I'd learned this some time ago when I tried to access the list.... ) I have a smaller selection in my blogroll of a few Korean blogs, If you'd like to get on it you could email me if you're not already on it.  ^^

    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:


    Search Terms

    Who's Reading

    Favorite Blogs

    Tuesday, 15 November 2011

    Not Sad

    I'm not sad anymore, or I'm trying to stay positive and focus on the good things in life which might be noticed in this blog by now. I still struggle with the adoption and reunion related stuff , and I will still blogg about those topics but maybe less often. I'm not really sure what the future holds in store for me but I'm ready for whatever challenge life throughs at me. Remember this there's at least two people in the world that loves you.

    My struggle as an adoptee will most likely never end, I'm still trying to make sense of the world which is easier said then done. There are still so many things that I don't know anything about, I know that but I also know that there things that I have knowledge about that others might not know about. That is allright, I'm not complaining it's how life is supposed to be.

    But I still can't shake the feeling of feeling totally alone ( I know I'm not alone there's many , many other KADs out there) but sometimes it feels like I'm the only one out there having the kind of feelings, emotions and opinions not only about Korea and adoption but about life in general.

    And it is true that despite everything, there was a few days in Korea where I felt I could let my guard down a bit and relax instead of worrying about what someone might said or if I misunderstood something. I spent the last week in KOROOT which to me proved to be very needed it gave me some distance to my active reunion and all of the tension it created. However the impressions from last week was never negative yet sometimes difficult and truthfully I couldn't process it until I was back in Sweden.

    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:
    Greif Again

    Too Young

    Peace 

    Tuesday, 11 October 2011

    My Confession

    Internet can be a nice and handy tool as well as something of a curse, you can reach all over the world as long as you have Internet connection. I decided to enter the blogosphere several years ago for various reasons I do prefer to blog in English not in Swedish although Swedish is my native tongue.

    There's a very little chance that my birth family would stumble upon this blog in the first place but it is a possiblity. But so far I havn't disclosed any delicate information that would make it possible to identify them (there's 73 million people on the peninsula and 50 million people in South Korea alone and out of those 250500 people live in Seoul) so it's a big nation with a big capital city.

    But the fact is that I've never told my birth family that I blog (that this particular blog is mine) and they certainly don't know what I write or blog about. That's a slight concern for me and this is also partially why I don't have pictures of people in this blog.

    I feel a million of emotions right now, I want to go back home and see my family, I need to go back home. However I still feel like I havn't seen all there is to see in Seoul not to mention Korea...

    I have seen a Bibamp show and Cookin' Nanta Show they were really good. I have not seen my Omma or Appa since leaving Cheonan and I still havn't seen my Onnis since moving out and in to KOROOT.

    If you hear someone constantly saying aigo!!, then it's probably me I learned a few Korean expressions while staying at my siblings place. I thought aigo was a really useful expression, and it is but it turns out that only older generations uses that expression so me saying it (since I'm only 25) is very funny to most Koreans. Only older generation and people not originally from Seoul uses aigo.

    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:

    Why Now

    Faith Love Honour

    Thursday, 29 September 2011

    Why Now ?

    I've decided to go on a second reunion, although there's so much else I could do. Being in Korea isn't really useful it's only expensive. But no, I think it's useful for me and my birth family. They should know how commited I am to them by now. So it's useful for a few but not for an overall good. Why hold up on things you could do right now ? When you actually decide to do them it could be too late...

    I'm considering applying for a full scholarship for Korean studies in Korea (as an adult adoptee or more particularly Korean adoptee.. Maybe it would be easier to learn Korean while hearing it every day... as I experienced from my first days it is not really that diificult to speak Korean if you can listen, try to pronounce it by repeating what yo heard. I'll let you know how that thing goes...

    © Taste Of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:

    My Journey

    Saturday, 27 August 2011

    Favorite Blogs

    1. Exile in Xiangnan
    2. Yoon's Blur
    3. The Queen Of Denial
    4. adoptionechoes
    5. Once Was Von
    6. Declassified Adoptee 
    7. Joy's Division
    8. Lost Daughter's
    9. Komapseumnida
    10. Insert Bad Movie Title Here

    I know there are more great blogs out there (if you're not mentioned here then don't take it personally) if you see a link to your blog then you're there for a reason - You have something important too say , togheter we can be strong.


    Today I will do some last minute packing and then go to bed really early because tomorrow I'll be on my way to Seoul the city that never sleps which happens to be my birth place too. One of the first thing I have to do is to pick up some tourist maps (if I don't want to repeat last year's arrival to Seoul..) (Yesterday) and today I'll do some last minute landry washing.

    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle


    Related posts:
    Vacation Memories

    Last Preparations

    Blog Readers

    Search Terms

    Wednesday, 24 August 2011

    Who's Reading Taste Of Kimchi?

    Today or actually this week started pretty sad so I don't have the energy or motivation to write long enries about my life.... I'm feeling guilty right now for going overseas instead of staying home to attend the upcoming funeral. (I had sort of promised myself I would attend the funerals for both of my still living grandparents.)

    I write in English but I'm a native speaker of Swedish, (for obvious reasons I prefer to blog in English). So maybe it's not so surprising to see that most of my readers are from
    • The US
    • Great Britain
    • Australia
    • Canada
    And since I'm living in Sweden my readers also comes from Sweden and since I'm a Korean adoptee many of them also are from South Korea.

    And then there's those who I'm not quite sure of (why they read this I mean) that would be:
    • Germany
    • France
    • Russia
    • Singapore
    • The Philippines
    • Iran
    • Malaysia
    • Saud Arabia
    • Ukraine
    • Estonia
    • Latvia
    Which country do you come from and where do you live ? (when you're reading this blog where in the world are you?)

    And most read posts are:
    1. the entry from 17th February
    2. Korean Technology
    3. Seightseeing in North Korea
    4. 11th November entry
    5. Olympic stadium
    6. 27th December
    7. Adoption Day
    8. Dual Citizenship
    9. No Ending
    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:
    Vacation Memories

    Kimchi Thoughts

    Search Terms

    Saturday, 20 August 2011

    Search Terms

    • under the loving care of the fatherly leader + facebook - first thing first, Under the loving care of the fatherly leader is a book about Kim Il Sung but I doubt he has facebook. Because first of all Kim Il Sung is dead, but Kim Il Sung's son Kim Jong Il is the current North Korean leader. He might have facebook but I wouldn't bet any money on it.
    • love is an obsticle - love becomes what you make of it, if you decide it is an obsticle nothing will change. I have an entry with obsticle in it's title.
    • Asian fairy tales jeju national museum - an art exhibition of Asian fairy tales at Jeju brought you here, sorry but I have no information. I do however admit I've written some about Jeju.
    • New York City Korea Day Kimchi Contest - I don't think I ever have written about New York here... and I think it's kind of obvious that the reader didn't find what they searched for but even so they ended up here.
    • baking school in Seoul - ok obviously I do bake and cook a lot, but I don't have a baking school in Seoul. It's Korea's capital city and the place of my birth. That's it .
    • Korean Pine Apple Bread - this is a blog about Korea , and I've made the famous Pine Apple Upside Down Cake. And also written an entry about Korean bread.
    • Korean Sesame Tapioca bread recepie - one of the bread types I've written about but I don't know any recepie myself for that bread.
    • Seoul and travel - I'm planning a trip to Korea so yeah that seems right, nothing fishy there.
    • how to be a God mother - I have mentioned once in one entry that I am a Godmother to my best friend's child. But I don't know how to be a God mother and hey, yes there's a diffrence between Godmother and god mother.
    • adoptees original surnames - one subject that I've written about almost since day one was personal name change and also how adoptees relates and thinks about original surnames and names in relation to their natural heritage.
    • adoption agency Sweden- I was adopted to Sweden and yes, I've written an entry about Swedish agencies.
    • kimchi freezing - kimchi should be considered Korea's national dish if it isn't already. It's also a part of my blog name not webb address. And I suppose kimchi can freeze.
    • is kimchi dirty - well, I tried to make my own kimchi one and considering that it's made out of vegetables I guess it could possibly be dirty if you don't clean the vegetables under water first.
    • Kyss Mig - a Swedish movie currently airing.
    • what the taste of the kimchi - have no clue, did someone want to find out what kimchi tastes like or did try to come to my blog?
    • Korean big feet - yes I'm an ethnic Korean with big feet - maybe that's surprising?
    • Dirty Korean - That's only the title of a book , I would never actually state that the Korean language is a dirty one. It is however a really old language.
    • my brother Swedish - I'm a Swedish citizen from adoption that was raised in Sweden with my younger brother (from adoption).
    • Kim Kyong Hui - if you read the actual entry you know what it says; that said woman is the sister to North Korea's leader Kim Il Sung.
    • Korean traits - I have written an entry about the infamous Korean stubborness. But I'm not sure if stubborness really is that uncommon these days.
    • Korean culture - one of my interests is Korean culture, but since I have haven't been raised there my knowledge is suspiciously limited.
    • kimchiblog - maybe that will work to get you to the right place, I'm not sure. Are you ?
    • tasteofkimchi - the title of my blog.

    Do you have any peculiar search terms in your stats?
    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:

    Here I Come

    Adoption And Divorce

    Seoul News

    Monday, 18 July 2011

    Question Time

    Is there anything you'll specifically want me to write about ? Then please tell me.
    I finally feel like it's time. Time for you to ask me questions (if there are someone who would like to know something about me).

    You can send questions until the 31st of July.

    How?

    Either leave a comment in this entry or send an email to tasteofkimchiatgmaildotcom .

    Today I spent the day making two different kind of jam one was cherry jam with Cognac and chocolate, and the other was black and red currant jam with improvised flavour (sorry, i will not say now, maybe later).

    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:

    New Blog

    About Me

    1000

    My Shoes

    Busy Busy

    How Did It Start

    Monday, 11 July 2011

    How Did I Get Here, How Did It All Start

    If you want to know about my life and journey so far  then I advice you to read this page.

    You'll basically get to know everything you need to know up until now... I'm not in the mood of repeting myself (yet again).

    Do comment if you feel like it but please read this before you do.

    1. English is a universal language (who knows Swedish except Swedes!?)
    2. Sharing memories and (life) experience
    3. Reaching out to other KADs or KAD relatives
    4. Wenting with other adoptees
    5. Swedish values and perspectives and so on...
    When I begun my quest for my birth family I desperately wanted to know the exact time of my birth (for different reasons) but since there were several complications I will never be able to get an exact birth time confirmed. But I'd say it's about 80 % certain that I was born in the morning and not at night (most adoptees are because the physician usually don't work at night).

    Know this when I blog I use my own experience, life and events and so on but I know that nobody else will be like me or have a life that's exctly like mine. But I do believe it can be helpful to share experiences with fellow KADs or adoptees.


    As I said the other day as for adoptees there's no right or wrong when it comes to how you live your life or deal with your adoption (as long as it's legal of course).

    Let's finish off with this question: do you let people in the blogsphere know if you've linked to them? Do you also ask for permission to do so? (Just out of curiosity when do you comment on other blogs?)

    You don't actually have to comment or answer any of the questions I'm simply wondering that's all.

    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:

    New Blog

    Please Read

    1000

    About Me

    Here I Come

    Saturday, 16 April 2011

    이백오십

    Over the years I have had other blogs, the oldest one (deleted) was
    1. euroasiangirl I started that blog in autumn 2008 can't remember exactly when. 
    2.  I started a Swedish blog at blogsida seventhsister this is me in December 2009. I still have that blog but I don't write as actively as before and some post have been password protected or deleted and there's no pictures left. 
    3.  I started a new Swedish seventhsister blog at devote I decided to delete that blog after a few months. And as you all must know by now I started my current blogg in 2010 after my devote blog was deleted, created in late 2010.
    4. Recently I decided to start blogging at wordpress under the alias kimchegirl that blog has been run and created in March of 2011.
    A slightly more specialized blog is
    • Hallyu and Genokai which I started in late 2010, or simply asianpopcultureplusmore. I hardly think I would be able to start another successfull blog because of the fact that I'm first of all a real person, with a life but my main argument is that I am a student trying to achieve my Bachelor's degree upon many other things. Not to be forgotten is the fact that I'm trying to learn Korean (Hangul) so that I can visit Korea in the future by myself.
    So you see the prospects of my starting yet another blog is next to zero but isn't impossible, maybe I'll one day decide to start another blog. That would only happen if I married and/or became a mother by adoption, marriage or pregnancy and yes I know that it's only you're child in the first and last mentioned case.

    So this is my actual 250th post...

    And since the cat is safe inside I've done some Easter baking but the easter cake will not be made until the day before Easter Eve...

    Will there be another blog ?
    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:

    Blog

    한글

    Sunday, 3 April 2011

    Mini Blog Break

    Today I'm not feeling in the mood to blog about anything, period. Instead I'm trying to live my life but I suppose you'll here from me again very soon...

    In the mean time do pop in to my other blog and read some of the stuff there and especially this two posts Likely stigmas and Korean economy maybe there will be more thoughtful stuff published there soon, when it happens I sure will let you know.

    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:

    Pain

    Advice

    Demolished

    Don't Read

    Challenge

    Blame

    Don't Cry

    Opinions

    Kimchi Bread And Meatballs

    Tuesday, 29 March 2011

    Kimchi,Bread And Meatballs

    No it's not some peculiar food and taste combination, although it could be and maybe those different dishes actually goes well toghether... What goes with kimchi and what goes with meatballs ? Do they marry each other flavorvise ? It happens to be the name of my new nonblogger blog which I already started.

    Here's my new blog which I already started, I have yet to decide what to write about. It's the same address as the name of this blog, but has another title. So all those who can't read or open blogger, it's now finally your turn to read about my life.

    By the way I've recently realized that you really need to follow instructions when baking something but you can actually be more creative when cooking. I used to make potatoe gratine by slicing potaties and then pour the cream but, I've since learned that preboiling potatoes in cream, garlic, black pepper and salt is way better.

    I really enjoy baking and cooking and the more complicated dishes the better, but of course I do know my limit. Like the other day when I made dinner for the family it was potatoe gratine, pork loain with homemade bearnaise. It was my first attempt ever trying to make that gravy and it did turn out pretty well for my first try, and it was acceptable so I didn't have to toss it away. When you make home bearnaise you keep the sliced onions but when you get it in a restaurant or buy the ready made product there's no onions !

    But if you somehow could escape the smell from standing behind the stowe I think I would cook even more, but baking's no problem it's the smell from cooking food that really annoys me. It sticks to your clothes and your hair too, and of course you could change your clothes and wash your hair, but really what's the point if you risk serving cold food then ?

    Yesterday it was finally time to turn our watches into summer time and it also coinsided with Earth Hour, which my parents decided to partake in but not with total dedication. They cheated and watched TV, with the rest of the house completely black ! I think you either should decide to join in or ignore not almost do something.



    © Taste of Kimchi, Elle

    Related posts:

    New Blog

    Please Read

    Kitchen Experiments

    Epiphany