The In-Between

Being in reunion with your birth family is something that I always dreamed of, longed for, desired and hoped for. Now when I finally are - sort of, I am ever so frustrated. Why you may ask ? I am frustrated because of how society looks upon people like myself, yes I am an adult adoptee - I didn't emigrate on my own, it wasn't my decision - to be separated from my birth parents or to be forced to live with strangers for the rest of my life. I never wanted to learn another language, to be raised in another culture.

Now that I am, I feel like my dear mum and dad are so afraid and scared to death of losing me, losing me to my original family the one that should have raised me. But I also know they love me yet I sometimes get so extremely irritated and annoyed at them... Society doesn't welcome or encourage people like me - I know that. Well, they do but only to a certain point.

Wanting to relocate, moving back, changing your citizenship all of those things are throwned upon.
I now don't know where I fit in, I don't feel Swedish yet I know I am, I find it hard to relate to my birth parents and siblings even though I just want to whisper that I love them. Because I think like this, I feel like I'm almost not welcome any longer in my own native country - to be frank it's the only culture and country that I know. It's almost like they don't want to recognize me or acknowledge me any longer.

All because of a very logical wish to reconnect and find my birth family.