I can't help but to one and again feel like a broken record, but so be it then - my story (my life) has developed to what is today largely due to my relinquishment and final adoption. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like.. but then I stop myself because I will never know what my life would have looked like since it's nothing but mere speculations.
I have managed to find my birth family and meet them to, which was a multilayered emotion sort of, feeling like you want to burst out in tears while still being the happiest you've ever been. The shock of seeing someone that physically resembles you that my friends is a big emotional shock if you havn't been fortunate enough to grow up with relatives let alone people from the same ethnicity.
Anyhow, I have fulfilled my life long goal yet I thought I would feel happier than I actually do. I realize how complicated it actually can be to be in my posititon.
I have Swedish friends that's adopted too, but somehow they can't relate to my feelings and opinions because they haven't been able or interested in finding their birth parents like me.
So here I am now, completely alone standing here on my own...
Small sidenote relating only to this blog is that I from now on will be using Elle whenever I write or comment, because I don't know who might be reading this. And I would like to be as anonymous as possible if someone from my imidate family might be reading this.. (only as a precaution).
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
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