Don't Push It

I once imagined that I would cut all ties with my adoptive family since I first of all have another birth family, secondly it was due to my reunion. But now I realize I shouldn't push it that far. I'm not a radical, I'd like to keep my adoptive family even though I recently has reconnected or connected with my birth family.

I can't choose between the ones that gave me life and the ones that cared for me, they're equally important to me. To some it seems unimaginable, to other it might seem like I need to make final decision. I'm sorry I can't, maybe that to is not understandable. But the major thing here is that it's my life and I should try to live my life the way I'd like to not the way I think I should. I want to be egoistic in some ways I might seem to in other ways not.

I'm Korean, born not raised and raised in Sweden. I have a lot of Swedishness but also a lot of if not Koreaness then Asianess.

And again I can partially understand why adoptees might feel inclined to cut their adoptive parents off. Believe me I do. I don't blame those that do or thinks negatively about adoption. I can understand why, but as I see it there has to be a very good reason for someone to cut all ties with their families (be it birth family, foster family or adoptive family). In my case there really is no reason that I could think off that would make me want to take step. If I did, I would basically be all alone... so there's a negative, something that never will happen at least not for me. But I don't judge, I wish I could understand better than I currently am able to do.

About my summer trip to Korea everything is starting to fall into place; I'm starting to collect enough money for the ticket and some pocket money. I redid my passport the other last week this time I did everyhting by the book. Of course I could still have used the old passport the one in my old name that is, but then I would have to have booked the tickets in the same name. There's still one small detail missing I need to get confrimation from my birthfamily. Hopefully it will be happening I'm keeping my fingers crossed.. but to stay a month might be stretching it a bit, it's a fairly long time.

Iceland's ashes and vulcano is creating trouble that possibly might force me to delay or even cancel my trip even before my confrimation message or not.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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