I've recently started watching Adoption Stories, and the few episodes I've seen so far hasn't said anything about the adoptee being grateful, it's the oppositie the prospective parents are portrayed as being extremely grateful and lucky because they've basically been able to become parents and a real family.
But what's a real family ? These days it's hard to tell, especially in the Western World and also growing number of divorces. However this wasn't really what I wanted to discuss. In one of the episodes there was a couple with one biological daughter that eventually settled on Korean adoption.
Their main argument for their final selection was that Korean children and infants aren't placed in orphanages like most orphans generally are percieved to be. Instead the couple has been told that Korean children are placed in foster homes and are being taken care of by the foster mum. Seems ideal, I suppose if it wasn't for the fact that there actually are orphanages for Korean orphans too. Why else would they be called orphanages !? The reason I know this for a fact is that I prior to adoption over 20 years ago, spent approximately 3 months in an orphanage starting from my birth and until my adoption.
Of course this was almost 25 years ago, so maybe things could have changed but there will always be if not orphanages in Korea at least institutions as Koreans my be more easilly influenced or pushed into such a decision. Actually the number of foster homes and foster mothers in Korea is not eqivallent to that of Korean orphans... Maybe they never will, as of right now they have quite a distance to leap.
Unlike me, my brother was born several years later and he was placed in foster home, but in his case his mother made a concious decision to place her son up for adoption. While I wasn't even given the chance to rest on my mother's cheast, I didn't have a chance to snuggle with her, I didn't scream to make my announcemennt to my parents, I did scream for born though. At least that's what I imagine that I did, I didn't get a chance to get a first glance even at my Appa and Omma and niether were they.
Instead I was to become a hidden family secret, returning over 20 years later at Korean age 26. For that long I was my family's big shame and tabboo. There could be a small possibility that this has made me screwed up, but I wouldn't necessarilly call that a failor as I have been doing pretty good in life up until now.
And I'm aware of the fact that are a lot of strange things hidden backstage or stowed away, discrepancies in the Korean adoption system. And this post did fulfill it's purpose but that's only the top of the iceberg. There is still more subjects to be touched and talked about were the general awareness is next to null.
Maybe, just maybe I'll put this blog on hold when there is nothing more to talk about, no more topics to written and discussed. Only then it seems as if this blog wouldn't be updated as regularly. But never deleted. But like I said it seems as if that decision isn't like to establish itself in the near future or even years to come.
And yes, it could that the agencies that handles Korean American adoptions delibrately chooses to place the young ones in foster homes instead of orphanages. Yet there actually is a shortage of Korean foster mother's which means that a majority of the young ones can't be placed in foster homes but has to be placed at an institution or orphanage. And to be placed at orphanage ight be something that many Korean adoptees have in common, yet I believe the percentages of such a placement has decreased among the younger KADs. But orphanages will always exist.
I have a voice and I'll continue to use as long as there's a need and a purpose for it.
Worringly, is that mum's beloved cat is missing since two days now, hopefully the cat isn't hurt...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
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Gratefulness
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