Guesstimations

I should feel satisfied and contempt by now, but I don't. For many different reasons.
Turns out my birthdate only is presumed, the birthday that I celebrated for 25 years might not be my actual birthdate... Even if it turns out to be incorrect I guess I never would know, because not even my own birth parents knows that. I tried to ask them many times, but for various reasons they can't answer me.

I have been reunited with my birth family.
But as suspected my birthdate might not be my real one...

Even if I wanted to correct that, I guess I'll never know my true birthday.
Maybe that's all for the best because I think it's next to impossible to change your birthdate...

내가 언제 당신처럼 느껴질 것입니다? 내가 당신 같은 것인가? 당신은 내게 당신은 모든 다른 아이를 사랑 같은 방법으로 사랑하나요? 내게 내가 알고 싶은 진실을 얘기하자면, 난 알고 싶어요. 당신은하고 싶지 않다면 그것은 내가 울지 않겠다고 약속 거짓말을 말해 괜찮을거야. 내 형제 자매에 비해 내게 똑같은 기대합니까? 당신은 정말 나를 위해 무엇을 하시겠습니까? 어떻게 내가 내 인생을살고 싶을까요? 어떻게 당신 가족의 일부가 될 수있는가? 그것은내가 할 필요가 무엇입니까? 당신은 정말 내가 그렇게 인식한다는나에게 나 진짜가 아니라, 저를 사랑 해요 ... 당신은 내가 스웨덴에거주 또는 당신이 나를 당신에게 가까이 살고 싶은 계속하시겠습니까? 가장 중요한 것은 무엇보다 우리는 항상 낯선 느낌 것인가?

Will I ever feel like you ? Will I ever be like one of you ? Do you love me the same way you love all your other children ? Tell me the truth I want to know, I need to know. If you don't want to it's allright to tell a lie I promise I won't cry. Do you expect the same thing from me compared to my siblings ? What do you really want for me ? How do you want me to live my life ? How can I become a part of your family ? What is it that I need to do? Do you really love me for me , the real me not just the me that you percieve that I am... Do you want me to continue living in Sweden or would you like me to live closer to you ? Most importantly than anything else will we always feel like strangers ?

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

Related posts:
Second Summary

Repeating Destiny