Tears, Time And Thoughts

When I first started this blog I had already familiarized myself with blogging, so it wasn't something completely new.And already back then I HAD established contact with my Korean family BUT I had yet to meet them face to face...

My first year or so I was the steroetypical adoptee; angry,sad, and feeling betrayed. It's taken me a lot time and many, many tears and thoughts to come too the place where I am now. Metaphorically speaking that is, I used to have this friend another adoptee but not KAD and things started to go down hill once I decided I wanted met my birth family... I have done so twice now and while I discovered my goal in life, the same friend could no longer understand my thoughts, opinions or wishes.

Now when I think about it I think I reminded this person of their own thoughts and whishes, if not directly maybe unconciously if anything else. My own thoughts about identity and adoption became difficult for this friend to listen to, and more importantly I found something that this friend might never find (if they don't decide to do something to look for information ) anyways we're no longer friends. Who needs a friend who turn their back on you when you need them the most ?

I've realized that it's ok to feel love for my first family and the one I live with, it is even allright for me to have the goal of moving to Korea. It's doable - if there's a will there's way and there's definitely a will. What's so wrong about wanting to move Korea when other people move to Norway or settle down in Spain !?

Why should my dream be considered as unreachable when in fact I do have every reason to because I have family there. Yes I call them family - we share the same flesh and blood so that makes us family. And also I feel like I've been robbed of things with my sisters especially and I would like to get to know them all better and the only way that would be a real possibility is if I would move to Korea. I'm lucky because my mum and dad totally support me in this goal they even say they UNDERSTAND and are willing to help me realize my dream.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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