Faith.
As long as I believe , I'll be ok. I want to believe it will be possible to see my siblings next time I go to Korea...
Love.
No matter what anyone says I will always love my birthfamily. I love everyone of them, but trying to overcome 20 years of separation might be impossible... But I don't pity my birth family, why should I just because their life is different from mine!? But sometimes I feel guilty, another feeling that I think is linked to adoption. I love my birth family, all nine of them, believe it or not.
Honour.
It might be too much too ask of them, I can't ignore my 20 years of life (I will not forget).
If I forget it, it will mean I somehow wipe out myself, because if it hadn't been for my adoption I wouldn't be me (the person I've become), I wouldn't say I would have died if it wasn't for adoption because that's just speculations... I would agree and accept that if it hadn't been for adoption I wouldn't be able to live such an affluent life in Europe and Sweden.
Dad thinks I should have to say goodbye again before I leave or else the 10 years invested will have been for nothing. And what for ? Why did I have to prolong my stay, to do what !? Visit two silly coffeshops.
I'm not sure how it could be that I ended up becoming a daughter in the family I did, I might have been adopted by another Swedish couple ... I could have been raised in the US, or maybe lived nextdoor in Denmark, or maybe even Paris (as in France) or the Netherlands and walked around in cloggs all day...
(I'm not religious so I will not give credit to the Lord, God or Jesus for how my life became this way.) By the way now I have a Cyworld account not Facebook.
Now for a few differences between Sweden and Korea; in Sweden it's illegal to hit a child (even for teachers or parents), we don't have mandatory military service anymore , they might even downsize it further... Teachers are even afriad to touch their students, and male teachers have it even worse.... We give or old people a place in a nursing home, we do not care for them at home. We have free health care and education, a lot of things is covered by the state. But yeah, maybe our taxes are a bit high... 20 % of our taxes goes to the church, which means we have the right to hold a funeral as well as be buried in the cemetary.
Yesterday I was only able to find the cat cafe in Sincheon, I never made it to Hello Kitty Cafe I went to both Sincheon and Hongik University but without good result... Now I should be able to find it so I'll probably try one more time to go there...
©Taste of Kimchi, Elle
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