© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Chuseok
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Vivid Dreams
Korea, it seems to become vivid as the days pass, almost like a dream. Because honestly, Korea to me is a dream. My fantasy, and yes I know that some things might not be as one might expect but that's the beauty of it.
Here's a picture of the promised Strawberry Cake, it had two layers one had strawberries and second one had chocolate. I had planned to use white chocolate but couldn't find it when I was finishing the cake.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Chuseok
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Chuseok
Monday, 30 May 2011
Rouge Regime
This book is another book about North Korea and it was written by Jasper Becker.
© Taste of Kimchi, ElleRelated posts:
Barbara Demick
Sunday, 29 May 2011
Mother May
As today is Mother's Day in Sweden I thought I'd write about motherhood today.
In Sweden we're expected to give our parents gifts with smaller celebrations.
When you become a parent through adoption you're supposed to be one in the gang since you too now can be celebrated.
But maybe it's more to it than just that.. I can't be sure seeing that I only have one experience to compare with and that would be the memories from my childhood.
Once many years ago my brother and I was supposed to buy gifts for Mother's Day to mum. The thing is that my brother at that time was very penurious and well he didn't want to spend money on two gifts and two cards. He was adamant that we only bought one card and one gift, we ended up arguing outside in the shopping mall. I managed to convince him that we'd have to buy two cards one from us each. But then two cards and one gift didn't make sense so I was trying to persuade him that we'd have to buy a second gift... Then everything went from bad to worse, he begun to cry and I started getting glares and looks that said what have you done, why is your brother crying...
Dad was forced to inside since we hadn't gotten back from the shopping, I think my brother still was crying when I explained the situation. And once dad had explained to my brother we bought a second gift, two children usually means two gifts.
Mum got a necklace and movie that my brother picked out it was kids movie and one that he wanted to see. I believe it was Nutty Proffesor II...
Yesterday I realized that it's only been 14 days = 2 weeks since I contacted my birth family, so I suppose there's still hope... And I finally has a vaild and fully functional passport.
As expected I decided to bake, but I baked a strawberry cake from scratch , I will post a picture as soon as it is done.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Broken Record
Father's Day
In Sweden we're expected to give our parents gifts with smaller celebrations.
When you become a parent through adoption you're supposed to be one in the gang since you too now can be celebrated.
But maybe it's more to it than just that.. I can't be sure seeing that I only have one experience to compare with and that would be the memories from my childhood.
Once many years ago my brother and I was supposed to buy gifts for Mother's Day to mum. The thing is that my brother at that time was very penurious and well he didn't want to spend money on two gifts and two cards. He was adamant that we only bought one card and one gift, we ended up arguing outside in the shopping mall. I managed to convince him that we'd have to buy two cards one from us each. But then two cards and one gift didn't make sense so I was trying to persuade him that we'd have to buy a second gift... Then everything went from bad to worse, he begun to cry and I started getting glares and looks that said what have you done, why is your brother crying...
Dad was forced to inside since we hadn't gotten back from the shopping, I think my brother still was crying when I explained the situation. And once dad had explained to my brother we bought a second gift, two children usually means two gifts.
Mum got a necklace and movie that my brother picked out it was kids movie and one that he wanted to see. I believe it was Nutty Proffesor II...
Yesterday I realized that it's only been 14 days = 2 weeks since I contacted my birth family, so I suppose there's still hope... And I finally has a vaild and fully functional passport.
As expected I decided to bake, but I baked a strawberry cake from scratch , I will post a picture as soon as it is done.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Broken Record
Father's Day
Saturday, 28 May 2011
Broken Record
It's no secret, some of you may get a catch 22 moment and maybe honestly feel like I'm a broken record. Well so be it, I'm adopted so what did you expect ? Allright, as an adoptee I feel like I have a lot of opinions relating to adoption Korea and Sweden.
But if you feel no one would listen, then I suppose I would start acting like a broken record. It really is a matter of the heart on a more personal way...
My life could honestly be better, it's got potential at least and I'm not sure exactly how I would try to get my message across (other then this blog I mean) although I have a few ideas...
Oh, and tomorrow's Mother's Day, Father's Day is in November... I woke up and was remined that Korea, Japan and maybe also China celebrates both their parents on Parent's Day which might coinside with Teacher's Day and Children's Day which all share the same date... Should I celebrate my Omma and Appa thrice (Swedish Mother & Father's Day, Parents Day and on their birthdays)...
How do you do when you might have the same celebration twice ?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
No More Drama
Don't Push It
On My Own
But if you feel no one would listen, then I suppose I would start acting like a broken record. It really is a matter of the heart on a more personal way...
My life could honestly be better, it's got potential at least and I'm not sure exactly how I would try to get my message across (other then this blog I mean) although I have a few ideas...
Oh, and tomorrow's Mother's Day, Father's Day is in November... I woke up and was remined that Korea, Japan and maybe also China celebrates both their parents on Parent's Day which might coinside with Teacher's Day and Children's Day which all share the same date... Should I celebrate my Omma and Appa thrice (Swedish Mother & Father's Day, Parents Day and on their birthdays)...
How do you do when you might have the same celebration twice ?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
No More Drama
Don't Push It
On My Own
Friday, 27 May 2011
Swedish Sports
As far as I know there are at least two sports activitites that are hugely popular in Sweden. Those would be soccer and ice hockey , and I'm not sure which of them that would be more popular. Ice hockey is a sport that you only play in the Western World as far as I know which means they havn't heard of it in Korea, Asia or the Middle East...
(But this could quite possibly be another prejudice)
If you were to ask a foreigner who Zlatan Ibrahimovic was then they'd probably know it but if you were to ask who Peter Forsberg or Mats Sundin was then you'd probably get no answer.
Who do you think would win between Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Ahn Jung Hwa or between Park Ji Sung and Henrik Larsson ? And personally I'm no soccer fan, believe me but Ki Seung Yong, Cha Duri and Lee Chong Yong has managed to make me more interested in soccer. Yet I'm torn wich team to chear for if Korea and Sweden was in the same division or played against each other.
Blogger is still acting up...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Father's Day
Popular Trend
(But this could quite possibly be another prejudice)
If you were to ask a foreigner who Zlatan Ibrahimovic was then they'd probably know it but if you were to ask who Peter Forsberg or Mats Sundin was then you'd probably get no answer.
Who do you think would win between Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Ahn Jung Hwa or between Park Ji Sung and Henrik Larsson ? And personally I'm no soccer fan, believe me but Ki Seung Yong, Cha Duri and Lee Chong Yong has managed to make me more interested in soccer. Yet I'm torn wich team to chear for if Korea and Sweden was in the same division or played against each other.
Blogger is still acting up...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Father's Day
Popular Trend
Thursday, 26 May 2011
Standing Here On My Own
I can't help but to one and again feel like a broken record, but so be it then - my story (my life) has developed to what is today largely due to my relinquishment and final adoption. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like.. but then I stop myself because I will never know what my life would have looked like since it's nothing but mere speculations.
I have managed to find my birth family and meet them to, which was a multilayered emotion sort of, feeling like you want to burst out in tears while still being the happiest you've ever been. The shock of seeing someone that physically resembles you that my friends is a big emotional shock if you havn't been fortunate enough to grow up with relatives let alone people from the same ethnicity.
Anyhow, I have fulfilled my life long goal yet I thought I would feel happier than I actually do. I realize how complicated it actually can be to be in my posititon.
I have Swedish friends that's adopted too, but somehow they can't relate to my feelings and opinions because they haven't been able or interested in finding their birth parents like me.
So here I am now, completely alone standing here on my own...
Small sidenote relating only to this blog is that I from now on will be using Elle whenever I write or comment, because I don't know who might be reading this. And I would like to be as anonymous as possible if someone from my imidate family might be reading this.. (only as a precaution).
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Catch 22
Whatever
Don't Push
Right Left Right
I have managed to find my birth family and meet them to, which was a multilayered emotion sort of, feeling like you want to burst out in tears while still being the happiest you've ever been. The shock of seeing someone that physically resembles you that my friends is a big emotional shock if you havn't been fortunate enough to grow up with relatives let alone people from the same ethnicity.
Anyhow, I have fulfilled my life long goal yet I thought I would feel happier than I actually do. I realize how complicated it actually can be to be in my posititon.
I have Swedish friends that's adopted too, but somehow they can't relate to my feelings and opinions because they haven't been able or interested in finding their birth parents like me.
So here I am now, completely alone standing here on my own...
Small sidenote relating only to this blog is that I from now on will be using Elle whenever I write or comment, because I don't know who might be reading this. And I would like to be as anonymous as possible if someone from my imidate family might be reading this.. (only as a precaution).
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Catch 22
Whatever
Don't Push
Right Left Right
Wednesday, 25 May 2011
Right Left Right Left Right...
I think I was shocked from all impressions and that's why I valued international adoption negatively. Then it was the opposite I begun to only focus on the positive sides (if there are any). After that I realized I wasn't so radical as I imagined...
Now I think I'm somewhere in the middle which means I don't support inter country adoption as an institution, yet I am aware of what adoption changed my life into.
Is the knowledge of adoption payed with the ultimate price once you either have an epiphany or a feeling that seems to say that you should reject all ties to them.
A few days ago Iceland showed its might again as another volcano erupted and this one is even bigger than last year's, according to experts. Chances are that travel industry will be affected one way or another... Maybe I can't visit Korea this summer afterall... I guess I have to wait and see. Apparently some of Sweden's airports has been closed, figure that. But I suspect the storm isn't over yet...
Right now, I feel totally empty a sideffect from having lived a busy life, where's now I basically have almost nothing to do. Except waiting, life's always about waiting or traveling it seems...
By the way, something's up with Blogger... again...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Exception
Right Or Wrong
Birthday Party
Now I think I'm somewhere in the middle which means I don't support inter country adoption as an institution, yet I am aware of what adoption changed my life into.
Is the knowledge of adoption payed with the ultimate price once you either have an epiphany or a feeling that seems to say that you should reject all ties to them.
A few days ago Iceland showed its might again as another volcano erupted and this one is even bigger than last year's, according to experts. Chances are that travel industry will be affected one way or another... Maybe I can't visit Korea this summer afterall... I guess I have to wait and see. Apparently some of Sweden's airports has been closed, figure that. But I suspect the storm isn't over yet...
Right now, I feel totally empty a sideffect from having lived a busy life, where's now I basically have almost nothing to do. Except waiting, life's always about waiting or traveling it seems...
By the way, something's up with Blogger... again...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
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Exception
Right Or Wrong
Birthday Party
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
Pineapple Upside Down
Another American cake recepie, and this was my second attempt so you could say it was delicious. And the first cake was better it didn't sink in the middle like this one. I think it was to heavy this time. But the taste was unchanged which is good.
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Monday, 23 May 2011
Don't Push It
I once imagined that I would cut all ties with my adoptive family since I first of all have another birth family, secondly it was due to my reunion. But now I realize I shouldn't push it that far. I'm not a radical, I'd like to keep my adoptive family even though I recently has reconnected or connected with my birth family.
I can't choose between the ones that gave me life and the ones that cared for me, they're equally important to me. To some it seems unimaginable, to other it might seem like I need to make final decision. I'm sorry I can't, maybe that to is not understandable. But the major thing here is that it's my life and I should try to live my life the way I'd like to not the way I think I should. I want to be egoistic in some ways I might seem to in other ways not.
I'm Korean, born not raised and raised in Sweden. I have a lot of Swedishness but also a lot of if not Koreaness then Asianess.
And again I can partially understand why adoptees might feel inclined to cut their adoptive parents off. Believe me I do. I don't blame those that do or thinks negatively about adoption. I can understand why, but as I see it there has to be a very good reason for someone to cut all ties with their families (be it birth family, foster family or adoptive family). In my case there really is no reason that I could think off that would make me want to take step. If I did, I would basically be all alone... so there's a negative, something that never will happen at least not for me. But I don't judge, I wish I could understand better than I currently am able to do.
About my summer trip to Korea everything is starting to fall into place; I'm starting to collect enough money for the ticket and some pocket money. I redid my passport the other last week this time I did everyhting by the book. Of course I could still have used the old passport the one in my old name that is, but then I would have to have booked the tickets in the same name. There's still one small detail missing I need to get confrimation from my birthfamily. Hopefully it will be happening I'm keeping my fingers crossed.. but to stay a month might be stretching it a bit, it's a fairly long time.
Iceland's ashes and vulcano is creating trouble that possibly might force me to delay or even cancel my trip even before my confrimation message or not.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
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Final Rebirth
Meaning Of Colours
Continued Legacy
The Wall
The Weil
Adoption vs. Biology
Why Korea
Adoption Day
I can't choose between the ones that gave me life and the ones that cared for me, they're equally important to me. To some it seems unimaginable, to other it might seem like I need to make final decision. I'm sorry I can't, maybe that to is not understandable. But the major thing here is that it's my life and I should try to live my life the way I'd like to not the way I think I should. I want to be egoistic in some ways I might seem to in other ways not.
I'm Korean, born not raised and raised in Sweden. I have a lot of Swedishness but also a lot of if not Koreaness then Asianess.
And again I can partially understand why adoptees might feel inclined to cut their adoptive parents off. Believe me I do. I don't blame those that do or thinks negatively about adoption. I can understand why, but as I see it there has to be a very good reason for someone to cut all ties with their families (be it birth family, foster family or adoptive family). In my case there really is no reason that I could think off that would make me want to take step. If I did, I would basically be all alone... so there's a negative, something that never will happen at least not for me. But I don't judge, I wish I could understand better than I currently am able to do.
About my summer trip to Korea everything is starting to fall into place; I'm starting to collect enough money for the ticket and some pocket money. I redid my passport the other last week this time I did everyhting by the book. Of course I could still have used the old passport the one in my old name that is, but then I would have to have booked the tickets in the same name. There's still one small detail missing I need to get confrimation from my birthfamily. Hopefully it will be happening I'm keeping my fingers crossed.. but to stay a month might be stretching it a bit, it's a fairly long time.
Iceland's ashes and vulcano is creating trouble that possibly might force me to delay or even cancel my trip even before my confrimation message or not.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Advice
Final Rebirth
Meaning Of Colours
Continued Legacy
The Wall
The Weil
Adoption vs. Biology
Why Korea
Adoption Day
Sunday, 22 May 2011
No More Drama
My life up until now has been stabil and peaceful, without any major challenges. But with that said being adopted means that you , speaking from personal experience has a life out of the ordinary, yet a life that's ordinary for you. But there's no way to escape the drama, my life's pretty boring if you ask me but it certainly adds much more drama to be adopted. Yeah, its true all people have their personal struggles and battles to fight, this is just my story.
( I need as litte drama as possible.)
Now when I basically am a grown woman, especially when I'm out with dad in public for example eating out, going to movies et c then I seem to be mistaken for my father's wife instead of his daughter... Yes there are a few Swedish men that marry Asian mail order brides but please, I'm not one of them. I'm a grown up woman, female Korean adoptee.
I've heard that it isn't easy for Korean women in Korea either, they often encounter sexual harassment based solely on their looks and gender. I think that is more common among the carrier women then ordinary Koreans yet I can't be sure.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Epiphany
Return To Sender
Catch 22
( I need as litte drama as possible.)
Now when I basically am a grown woman, especially when I'm out with dad in public for example eating out, going to movies et c then I seem to be mistaken for my father's wife instead of his daughter... Yes there are a few Swedish men that marry Asian mail order brides but please, I'm not one of them. I'm a grown up woman, female Korean adoptee.
I've heard that it isn't easy for Korean women in Korea either, they often encounter sexual harassment based solely on their looks and gender. I think that is more common among the carrier women then ordinary Koreans yet I can't be sure.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Epiphany
Return To Sender
Catch 22
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