Sometimes I think that it might have been selfish of me to not only request a renuion this past summer but also to actually initate a birth family search in the first place. I have many friends who might not have that much information of their birth family to begin with, but I do. I always have, sometimes I think it would have been better if I hadn't been so greedy.
Of course everything worked out better than expected, but still maybe I should have been content with the information I already had. Believing in what it initally said my papers has been hard at times, but it seems easier to accept that than the new more accurate version....
Was it really selfish of me to initiate a birth family search some 5 years or so ago? Was it it selfish is to request a reunion with my birth family?
Would I have accepted a possible decline, maybe that would have been easier to accept than the pain from what I know now.
Unrelated goofs: We're supposed to or preferably encouraged to make case studies in our thesis but in my case it would be almost impossible to achieve a case study. Let´s say I do make it to Korea, than the next challenge would be how to get access to the information that I need. It's highly unlikely that I would allowed to meet Korean birth mother's or business people responsible or active in this field. And personally that never was my intention from the start, since I've understood the big stigma with inter country adoption in Korea.
♥챠금은안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
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I can relate to what you wrote in this post. There are times I struggle with feeling as though I was/am selfish for searching for and reuniting with my Korean family...and yet, the rest of the world takes for granted that they get to know their biological origins and familial identity. Why is it selfish to want to know from whom and where we came?
ReplyDeleteI have been "in reunion" for about a year and half now, and I can also relate to the pain of now knowing and the complexities of life in post-reunion...managing my relationships with both my American and Korean families...it's incredibly complicated and sensitive...
There's just no "easy way" to deal with it all, whether reunited or not reunited. Thanks for sharing your thoughts...