Accuracy

Please note that the content of this post is not supposed too criticize, the adoption industry or the adoption agency who cared for me after my birth. I think I'm unfortunately not alone, not the only one having these kind of thoughts and doubts.

Many, many times I've been thinking about the meaning of life, but I'm not religious per say. What really is the point of living? What's the point of life? What's the point of my life? Is there a purpose for me? And again I'm not religious...

Lately I've been questioning one question especially at several different times...

Can I really trust my adoption papers? Is my birth family really mine? Don't get me wrong but the only accurate way with the highest percentage of accuracy would be to do some kind of DNA test.. but I've never done one... Niether has my birth family at least not for this particular purpose...

But I do know that I share many physical characteristics with many members of my birth family, I have the same blood type as my siblings... But basing the claim solely on blood group would not be really relevent because there are 6 or so different blood types distributed over the entire human population of 8 or 9 billions. I don't want to doubt that it shouldn't be untrue, I really don't.

Hypothetically speaking would an adoption agency really be so cruel to let a longing birth family be reunited with the wrong child...? I'm not sure if I'd like to know the answer to this question. I do know there seems to be at least a few cases where this seems to have happened... but I don't know that much of it to be honest....

Maybe I'm still in shock, the reality might still seems like a nightmare to me and yes it still is. I wish I could wake up from it all being comforted by my mum... but here is my dilemma; which mum would I like to be comforted by? Which family would I like to be my real one? As you can see this kind of thinking is leading no where, it is only doing more harm than good.

My birth parents are people who I managed to find resemblence too afterall, so maybe I shouldn't be so suspicious and doubting. But still I wonder if it's really true... I do think , believe and yes I even consider the birth family I meet this summer to be mine. Of course my source of doubt could come from the actual shock from finding out what partially lead to the relinquishment of me...

♥챠금은안녕.Bye for now.♥

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

Related posts:

Dirty Secrets