My motto in life is to treat others as you would like to be treated... or else I suppose you might end up in something best described as that's the wat the cookie crumbles...
The biggest IKAA Gathering so far will begin in about a month (give or take (book the date 12th - 15th August).
What happens then ?
The Swedish Korean Adoptees Organization will celebrate their 25th anniversery (it's the oldest NGO for Korean adoptees). It's the oldest NGO for Korean adoptees so it could be really special.
I will not be attending myself, (although I seriously thought about it for a second) it's somewhat expensive and I don't know that many people irl besides I'm saving my money from my upcoming trip. I think that would be much more fun, I've never been much for partying...
Lately I've become more active in the blogosphere ( I've started reading adoptee blogs and what's more started commenting). I'm still not sure what people would think of me, what they associate me with... All I know is what I am, although someone else would have to fill in the rest here.
This might sound incredibly stupid but I actually miss all the things I could have been ...
a real sister to my birth siblings and younger daughter to Omma and Appa. It really doesn't matter how hard I try to attempt to recreate that feeling , because I can't turn back time or make things undone. My life isn't a bad dream although it might have started as one.
That's a hard thing to swallow, but that's my life and I know I will still struggle trying to come to terms with this (which to me is the true essence of adoption). I realize I might have to have to pat my back , move on (the best I can) and try to get over this but as this really is my life it won't be easy... But I'll try my best, at least I'm not alone , by reading other adoptee blogs and that's a small comfort...
Or maybe I'm doing it all wrong (there's no How To books on how to get through life as an adoptee or not even a general solution) instead we have to learn by living...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Catch 22
Discount Adoptee
Bending Over
Sunday, 10 July 2011
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Right Here, Right Now
What am I ? Who am I ? What's my name ... How will people remember me... What do people remember me for...
oh you know that Korean girl, the adopted one... who doesn't know Korean...
This post was previously published but removed by blogger (not by me).
I heard the other day that England is launching a lottery were you can win fertlility (IVF) treatments... I think you all know what I personally feel about that. A child isn't an item, it's new innocent life. A child can never be compared to a fancy car , a posh house or thousands of $ or £. Imagine what that parent later would have to tell that child:
You weren't planned, you were a lottery prize... !!???What !? (Hopefully no parent would actually say this out load, but then again you never know.)
Has the world really gone to such drastic measures and what about the infertil and childless couples that desperatly signs on to win a ticket. In real lotteries the likelihood of a win isn't that high, so what are the chances going to be to win in this kind of lottery and what about second and third price, what would that be ?
Last month a new law was passed to enforce change in the infamous Korean overseas adoption, it's certainly about time... Korean Society (and the world) has changed and developed in so many instances since the 1950s yet they still lack far behind on others. One of those would be the continued practice of Korean overseas adoptions.. but since Korea will host 2018 Winter Olympics in less then 10 years I suppose they really will try to make a bigger effort this time. One could only hope I guess...
But has time really changed Korea that much ? Are they ready to start supporting their own orphans, infants and children?
As many of you might remember (South) Korea has already tried to implement a similar law years before. That time they seemed more concerned with ending international adoptions, which in the end didn't work out.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
I Wish
Adoptee Arrival
Tears
Reality
Don't Push
Family Values
oh you know that Korean girl, the adopted one... who doesn't know Korean...
This post was previously published but removed by blogger (not by me).
I heard the other day that England is launching a lottery were you can win fertlility (IVF) treatments... I think you all know what I personally feel about that. A child isn't an item, it's new innocent life. A child can never be compared to a fancy car , a posh house or thousands of $ or £. Imagine what that parent later would have to tell that child:
You weren't planned, you were a lottery prize... !!???What !? (Hopefully no parent would actually say this out load, but then again you never know.)
Has the world really gone to such drastic measures and what about the infertil and childless couples that desperatly signs on to win a ticket. In real lotteries the likelihood of a win isn't that high, so what are the chances going to be to win in this kind of lottery and what about second and third price, what would that be ?
Last month a new law was passed to enforce change in the infamous Korean overseas adoption, it's certainly about time... Korean Society (and the world) has changed and developed in so many instances since the 1950s yet they still lack far behind on others. One of those would be the continued practice of Korean overseas adoptions.. but since Korea will host 2018 Winter Olympics in less then 10 years I suppose they really will try to make a bigger effort this time. One could only hope I guess...
But has time really changed Korea that much ? Are they ready to start supporting their own orphans, infants and children?
As many of you might remember (South) Korea has already tried to implement a similar law years before. That time they seemed more concerned with ending international adoptions, which in the end didn't work out.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
I Wish
Adoptee Arrival
Tears
Reality
Don't Push
Family Values
Friday, 8 July 2011
Dreams
Do you have any dreams ?
I suppose you do, I think we all have at least one thing we aim at and ultimately wants to achieve.
Personally I'm not sure if I'll ever get a chance to see mine fulfilled.
If I'll never get a chance to fulfill my lifelong wish I hope that somewhere , sometime I'll get a second chance to know my birth family. (With or without my later family).
I've already mentioned the lost generation and domestic US adoptions and I usually blog about Korea in one way or another. I'm not to sure about what nationalities and nations that gives their children up for adoption, but I do believe China is one of them. Then there's of course the war related ones like Vietnam, Sri Lanka and so on...
I might write about other cases in the future, although I probably have to learn a little bit more about them...
Enough about that now (no disrespect I'll write about that later on), South Korea's Pyeongchang will host the 2018 Winter Olympics!!!
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
To Be Kind
Vivid Dreams
Too Self
I suppose you do, I think we all have at least one thing we aim at and ultimately wants to achieve.
Personally I'm not sure if I'll ever get a chance to see mine fulfilled.
If I'll never get a chance to fulfill my lifelong wish I hope that somewhere , sometime I'll get a second chance to know my birth family. (With or without my later family).
I've already mentioned the lost generation and domestic US adoptions and I usually blog about Korea in one way or another. I'm not to sure about what nationalities and nations that gives their children up for adoption, but I do believe China is one of them. Then there's of course the war related ones like Vietnam, Sri Lanka and so on...
I might write about other cases in the future, although I probably have to learn a little bit more about them...
Enough about that now (no disrespect I'll write about that later on), South Korea's Pyeongchang will host the 2018 Winter Olympics!!!
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
To Be Kind
Vivid Dreams
Too Self
Thursday, 7 July 2011
Random Seoul pictures II
This will probably be the last entry of Korean pictures before my trip, and yes all of them are from Korea or Seoul dating summer 2011...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
Writing Something
I do realize my personal limits, after my name change there's a lot of things I realized that I might not be able to do...
Like for example pulishing a book, be on TV or whatever public activity you can think of and then there's another thing which would be to get married. Although many Swedish women don't take their husband's or spouse's surname (which I know that most Korean women didn't do either).
Why is that ?
My name is unique I'm the only in Sweden who have those names in that particular order like that, spelled just like that and that version togheter with those other personal names...
I havn't been thinking any more about future plans (like publishing a book or becoming a writer) and I have especially not been thinking about big life altering decisions. My dad's birthday is by the end of the summer and yesterday I asked him what kind of cake he would like for his birthday. That's how boring or interesting my life is right now. Let's just say I bake a lot these days...
But earlier this week I started thinking about writing a novel about adoption seen from several different perspectives and over several decades.. I'll say no more.
Speaking about adoption yesterday I mentioned Australia and the Stolen generation which also apparently has had a history of abandonment of children of mixed race and also of children whose parents are of differents beliefs... (but of course there could be more examples here) . Remind you that I'm not an expert I'm just an adult adoptee (and no I'm not an Australian adoptee...) But even so I think it is important to talk about these things... Which reminds me of a novel that we had to read in school by Sally Morgan called My Place...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Family Values
Killing Me
What's Seoul
Like for example pulishing a book, be on TV or whatever public activity you can think of and then there's another thing which would be to get married. Although many Swedish women don't take their husband's or spouse's surname (which I know that most Korean women didn't do either).
Why is that ?
My name is unique I'm the only in Sweden who have those names in that particular order like that, spelled just like that and that version togheter with those other personal names...
I havn't been thinking any more about future plans (like publishing a book or becoming a writer) and I have especially not been thinking about big life altering decisions. My dad's birthday is by the end of the summer and yesterday I asked him what kind of cake he would like for his birthday. That's how boring or interesting my life is right now. Let's just say I bake a lot these days...
But earlier this week I started thinking about writing a novel about adoption seen from several different perspectives and over several decades.. I'll say no more.
Speaking about adoption yesterday I mentioned Australia and the Stolen generation which also apparently has had a history of abandonment of children of mixed race and also of children whose parents are of differents beliefs... (but of course there could be more examples here) . Remind you that I'm not an expert I'm just an adult adoptee (and no I'm not an Australian adoptee...) But even so I think it is important to talk about these things... Which reminds me of a novel that we had to read in school by Sally Morgan called My Place...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Family Values
Killing Me
What's Seoul
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Killing Me Softly
No not really it's just a reference to the 1971 song Killing Me Softly With His Song, which was made by Charles & Norman Gimbel (but who seems to be mostly remembered as a Roberta Flack's song)....
I have no one else to blame for the pain I sometimes feel. (The pain I've encountered in my adult years, I mean). Not so much the pain caused by adoption which is still a scar.
I'm killing me softly.. and no body is around to pick me up or to make me smile again. And I've caused this by myself...(Or that's how it feels if I would try to explain it...)
As an international adoptee adopted to Sweden I have always have had access to my birth certificate or what's called social study in my case (Although the details in that wasn't exactly 100% accurate). In the US maybe the entire US some states will keep the original birth certificate closed and some will only release this information later. I honestly didn't really comprehend exactly how complicated and complex this matter was. An American adoptee (by domestic adoption) could be born in one state and then later adopted by another state , which really seems to complicate the matter further.
And let's not forget the Stolen generation (Australian adoptees of Assie Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander) but more on that another day...
Here's one petition on adoptees access to original birth certificates (US adoptees) as well as a site (American).
Out of the US states only Kansas and Alaska has a law that grants access to adoption file and OBC (original birth certificate) while Alabama,Maine , Oregon and New Hampshire allows access at either at age 18 or 21 although Delaware and Illinous allows birth parents issue a veto to prevent adoptees to gain access and lastly Massachusetts which allows adults to born before 17th July 1974 and as of January 1st 2008 adoptive parents can gain access to OBC which means adoptees born before 17th July 1974 can't get access...
(The above information might not be 100 % accuarte...)
As you are reading this I'm getting ready to go to bed for the night...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Trip Summary
Adoptee Arrival
Not For Everyone
Why Korea
Vivid Dreams
The Maze
Bending Over
I have no one else to blame for the pain I sometimes feel. (The pain I've encountered in my adult years, I mean). Not so much the pain caused by adoption which is still a scar.
I'm killing me softly.. and no body is around to pick me up or to make me smile again. And I've caused this by myself...(Or that's how it feels if I would try to explain it...)
As an international adoptee adopted to Sweden I have always have had access to my birth certificate or what's called social study in my case (Although the details in that wasn't exactly 100% accurate). In the US maybe the entire US some states will keep the original birth certificate closed and some will only release this information later. I honestly didn't really comprehend exactly how complicated and complex this matter was. An American adoptee (by domestic adoption) could be born in one state and then later adopted by another state , which really seems to complicate the matter further.
And let's not forget the Stolen generation (Australian adoptees of Assie Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander) but more on that another day...
Here's one petition on adoptees access to original birth certificates (US adoptees) as well as a site (American).
Out of the US states only Kansas and Alaska has a law that grants access to adoption file and OBC (original birth certificate) while Alabama,Maine , Oregon and New Hampshire allows access at either at age 18 or 21 although Delaware and Illinous allows birth parents issue a veto to prevent adoptees to gain access and lastly Massachusetts which allows adults to born before 17th July 1974 and as of January 1st 2008 adoptive parents can gain access to OBC which means adoptees born before 17th July 1974 can't get access...
(The above information might not be 100 % accuarte...)
As you are reading this I'm getting ready to go to bed for the night...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Trip Summary
Adoptee Arrival
Not For Everyone
Why Korea
Vivid Dreams
The Maze
Bending Over
Monday, 4 July 2011
Bending Over Backwards
I'm bending over backwords... because I attempt to catch your love, get your approval and acceptance. It's a though road to take, and I often end up feeling bruised and discouraged. Maybe that's because of the fact that I'm trying to repair the damage or scar from adoption. (Honestly speaking,I'm not sure why or even if I am trying to repair something, since society's pressure and presumptions has made me feel unsure and a bit lost and confussed, and let's just say (for the record) that my adoptive parents is behaving really strange some days)...
And that seems to be something I can't achieve, at least not now, all by myself. With support or encouragement I'm afraid I've choosen the road headed straight towards failure.
As some of my know I recently decided to reclaim my original birthname (which in my case would be my personal name) and ever since I've seemed to have gained access to another set of common misunderstandings, prejudices and generalizations. Like the fact that people seems to assume that I can't speak Swedish or that my native language is Swedish. Hey, that doesn't work not with that name, does it ?
I am finally partially at ease (but only partially) you see I choose to take back my personal name instead of my surname... I'm honestly not sure what I should do in this question , a part of me would like to change my surname to simply because it was changed from the start. But then again I'm afraid what confussion that might cause for any possible future generations of mine. Although I've discovered that it easilly could be changed back...
A part of me wants to, but as my adoptive parents reacted and objected my first name change in the first place I'm sure they wouldn't be exactly pleased to hear about my thoughts of maybe changing my surname too.
Here's two major arguments:
Here's a question for you if you're an adoptee what would you prefer to change your personal name, your surname or both?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Final Rebirth
Finally
What's Seoul
Family Values
And that seems to be something I can't achieve, at least not now, all by myself. With support or encouragement I'm afraid I've choosen the road headed straight towards failure.
As some of my know I recently decided to reclaim my original birthname (which in my case would be my personal name) and ever since I've seemed to have gained access to another set of common misunderstandings, prejudices and generalizations. Like the fact that people seems to assume that I can't speak Swedish or that my native language is Swedish. Hey, that doesn't work not with that name, does it ?
I am finally partially at ease (but only partially) you see I choose to take back my personal name instead of my surname... I'm honestly not sure what I should do in this question , a part of me would like to change my surname to simply because it was changed from the start. But then again I'm afraid what confussion that might cause for any possible future generations of mine. Although I've discovered that it easilly could be changed back...
A part of me wants to, but as my adoptive parents reacted and objected my first name change in the first place I'm sure they wouldn't be exactly pleased to hear about my thoughts of maybe changing my surname too.
Here's two major arguments:
- It's not like a change back to my birth parent's surname would nullify my adoption (certainly not)
- In Sweden it's actually legally possible to regain your original surname
Here's a question for you if you're an adoptee what would you prefer to change your personal name, your surname or both?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Final Rebirth
Finally
What's Seoul
Family Values
Sunday, 3 July 2011
Weird Fragmented Dream
I still remember fragments of a dream I had not too long ago; I clearly recall being back in Korea with my (adoptive) family . Yet some things was different, in this dream my younger brother was with us in Korea.
Fact is that he really wasn't last summer, but still there he was...
I'm not exactly sure since it was a dream, but I think we were there to search for my brother's birth family.
Here's the thing which made me realize it in fact was a dream:
It seems to be like that adoption tendency doesn't it?
A Korean child is adopted to Sweden and the next Swedish child is adopted to Korea... (someone made this particular comment in my dream, could have been my mum or dad..)
This seems really, really strange why would Koreans adopt Swedish children while they still were sending away their own children ? (Remember now, that this comment is based on my dream nothing else...) Seems highly unlikely and unreal thus I know it's only a dream far from being materialized even in the future....
I'd say that it is much more likely that Korea's domestic adoptions will increase rather than Koreans opting for international adoption themselves, wouldn't you say? At least if you compare the two mentioned in my dream. It was only a dream simple as that it's not something I dream would happen in the future.
As for Sweden there has been suggestions about allowing domestic adoption by Swedish children as viable option instead of international adoption (and yes abortions too).. But as I'm not a practicing Christian I will not go into a debate about pro abortion or pro life...
If this suggestion is accepted and made legal it would mean that homosexual couples that wishes to become parents would be viable to apply for domestic adoptions instead of waiting around for the world to change. As for where I stand on this topic (adoption in general terms), I can't give you a clear answer because it's to difficult for me.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
For Everyone
Dilemma
Funding Cut
Family Values
Fact is that he really wasn't last summer, but still there he was...
I'm not exactly sure since it was a dream, but I think we were there to search for my brother's birth family.
Here's the thing which made me realize it in fact was a dream:
It seems to be like that adoption tendency doesn't it?
A Korean child is adopted to Sweden and the next Swedish child is adopted to Korea... (someone made this particular comment in my dream, could have been my mum or dad..)
This seems really, really strange why would Koreans adopt Swedish children while they still were sending away their own children ? (Remember now, that this comment is based on my dream nothing else...) Seems highly unlikely and unreal thus I know it's only a dream far from being materialized even in the future....
I'd say that it is much more likely that Korea's domestic adoptions will increase rather than Koreans opting for international adoption themselves, wouldn't you say? At least if you compare the two mentioned in my dream. It was only a dream simple as that it's not something I dream would happen in the future.
As for Sweden there has been suggestions about allowing domestic adoption by Swedish children as viable option instead of international adoption (and yes abortions too).. But as I'm not a practicing Christian I will not go into a debate about pro abortion or pro life...
If this suggestion is accepted and made legal it would mean that homosexual couples that wishes to become parents would be viable to apply for domestic adoptions instead of waiting around for the world to change. As for where I stand on this topic (adoption in general terms), I can't give you a clear answer because it's to difficult for me.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
For Everyone
Dilemma
Funding Cut
Family Values
Saturday, 2 July 2011
Korean Restaurants In Sthlm
If you're in Sweden or more particularly Stockholm, you might want to eat at a Korean restaurant right? Maybe it's promoting them, maybe no hopefully it's useful information for someone...
Arirang, Norrmalm, Stockholm,
Nam Kang, Östermalm,Stockholm
Soraksan, Solna Business Park,
Also be aware of the fact that I consider this as useful information especially for those looking eat Korean food while in Stockholm. There may also be other restaurants, but these are those I know about...
Maybe it's like free advertising or promotion..., but I don't think it is because I don't get payed...
Now you all at least know where too go and that's good , right? By the way no one is paying me to blog about something apart from my adsense ads everything else is chosen by me...
Related posts:
Bread Recepies
Arirang, Norrmalm, Stockholm,
Nam Kang, Östermalm,Stockholm
Soraksan, Solna Business Park,
Also be aware of the fact that I consider this as useful information especially for those looking eat Korean food while in Stockholm. There may also be other restaurants, but these are those I know about...
Maybe it's like free advertising or promotion..., but I don't think it is because I don't get payed...
Now you all at least know where too go and that's good , right? By the way no one is paying me to blog about something apart from my adsense ads everything else is chosen by me...
Related posts:
Bread Recepies
Friday, 1 July 2011
Note Too Self
Have you ever sent mail or packages (gifts) to Korea ? Obviously I have on more than one occassion. Do you know if it made it's way to the reciever ?
I up until recently assumed that the Korean mail system was pretty safe.. But bare in mind that one; I sent a jewelary as a gift to someone.
Two: Korea is a wealthy country, but there's of course still poverty and poor people there.
Here's what really made me doubt the Korean mail system; I sent it recommended after having asked for advice about how to safely send it ensuring that it arrive safely.
However, it could have gone lost somewhere on it's way between Sweden and Korea. Someone else might have signed for it (you don't have personal signatures in Hangul..)
And no I've finally realized that Google, Altavista or any online translation isn't reliable for Korean - English translation. Maybe I'll inwest in some Korean children's books while I'm there later... Any suggestions on good Korean children's books? It has to be in Korean, Korean American writers won't do unless they write in Korean...
Oh yeah, small note too self - the minimum wage in Sweden is 20000 SEK...
Swedes celebrates their national day:
Let me just end by saying that Sweden's now had it's very first established case of EHEC sourze is still unknown...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
I Know
Thoughts
Supposed Future
Scary Reality
Weil
Adoption Or Biology
Return To Sender
Catch 22
Perfect World
I up until recently assumed that the Korean mail system was pretty safe.. But bare in mind that one; I sent a jewelary as a gift to someone.
Two: Korea is a wealthy country, but there's of course still poverty and poor people there.
Here's what really made me doubt the Korean mail system; I sent it recommended after having asked for advice about how to safely send it ensuring that it arrive safely.
However, it could have gone lost somewhere on it's way between Sweden and Korea. Someone else might have signed for it (you don't have personal signatures in Hangul..)
And no I've finally realized that Google, Altavista or any online translation isn't reliable for Korean - English translation. Maybe I'll inwest in some Korean children's books while I'm there later... Any suggestions on good Korean children's books? It has to be in Korean, Korean American writers won't do unless they write in Korean...
Oh yeah, small note too self - the minimum wage in Sweden is 20000 SEK...
Swedes celebrates their national day:
- to commemorate the Swedish flag
- that's supposedly the date that Gustav Vasa was crowned the Swedish king...
Let me just end by saying that Sweden's now had it's very first established case of EHEC sourze is still unknown...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
I Know
Thoughts
Supposed Future
Scary Reality
Weil
Adoption Or Biology
Return To Sender
Catch 22
Perfect World
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