Benefits Of Being A Korean Woman

Believe it or not there are benefits of being a female KAD, one would be that since I'm a woman it would be possible for me to attain a dual citizenship without having to worry about the 25 month long mandatory military service. Korea hasn't made military service mandatory for Korean women, at least not yet... Maybe they never will...

Here's the thing you can apply for a dual Korean citizenship if you are inside Korea and it isn't gender selection although male KADs are usually having to comply to serving in Korean military once they become 20....

Above picture of Apple Banana Cupcakes which honestly tasted more banana nutmeg; but still very delicious. I also made Carrot Cupcakes and for the Cupcake dough I made the dough from a regular Cupcake recepie. There is a picture of those cupcakes as well but there in another camera.

No those are not any stones, its bread with hard crust but they're soft inside. Its a modified Swedish recepie containing sage. And my dad has stated that he is considering starting his own blog after his retirement.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

Related posts:

Dual Citizenship

Korean Language

Cat Chase

I know I might come of as to critical and negative at times, and that I tend to judge and criticize my mum a lot, based on what I write.. Truth is I really feel like not only my first trip back to my birth country and not to mention my first reunion was further complicated by the fact that my adoptive parents insisted of going with me...

Even though it in a way was a wonderful memory to share, I still to this day honestly believe that it further complicated things not only for me personally but also for my birth family. It was as if my life long desire was transformed into something similar to a family vacation and I wasn't allowed to fully experience this supposedly wonderful time since I had to be considerate of my mum and dad while still trying not to disappoint my birth family. Furthermore I believe it complicated and actually made my honest efforts and attempts to get closer to my birth family a lot harder just based on the fact that my mum and dad was with me.

I still can't seem to come to terms with the fact that they imposed on me (there intentions might have been created out of honesty..) but it still felt like my mum and dad also wanted to do this based on a selfish need and curiosity.

Yesterday I went to the screening of Black Swan starring Natalie Portman, Winona Ryder and Mila Kunis. At first it was a little hard to grasp but once I understood I realized its message; that you're often your own worst enemy...

Small side note international (American movies mostly) are screened way later than they are in the US. I think Sweden did get to show Sex and The City II and Spider Man II ( I think it was this movie), due to the volcano... I know we had the first show of Sex and the City II and at least another movie even before any other European country...

Oh, did you know we have a special screening of limited movies which allows parents to bring their infants to a movie ? Do you have this possibility in other countries? The thing is that I think they make planned breaks for nursing and diaper change in the saloon... Although I have yet to confirm this... Up until recently they only screened movies that were approved for children, but now they also screen movies with adult content. But your child has to be no older than one year...


© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

Related posts:

Summary Of Trip

Weil

Wall

Duties For A Godmother

My dad informed the other day that one of the duties of a godmother means that you have responsibility of your God daughter or God son in the unfortunate event of both parents death... Would that be equal or similar to an adoption?

And why is it so that everything I mention; I have to to repeat once or twice to both my parents, are they only old and forgetful or do they simply not care about what's important and going on in my life... Oh, well I could be that boring I suppose. My brother really are the accomplished one, he has tons of things to do, many job oppertunites, a lot of friends and a longtime girlfriend. He's got everything I don't and sometimes I'm still jelaous of him...

There I said it out loud, being jelaous is a part of life and no I wouldn't say I'm childish or selfish based on that. If jelaousy equals childish and selfishness than I suppose I am and would argue that a lot of people are just that.


And I'm proud of my brother and love him dearly.

Below picture of Swedish Lenthen bun from a local bakery...

Today happens to be another Swedish tradition since its Lent and that means Lenthen bun, basically a bun filled with whipped cream and almond cream. Actually it wasn't only first day of Lent and Lenthen bun day but also Panncake Day, which I didn't know... So you could celebrate International Women's Day with either Lenthen bun or Panncakes, or both.


© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

Related posts:

Godmother

Adoptee Arrival

Tears Of Joy And Tears Of Sorrow

Mum, the more you try to press me against your chest, the tighter you hold on too me... the more I'm going too turn away from you. Don't ignore your fear, I know you're fear has materialized now, don't play charades acknowledge your pain and the truth as we both know it.

To you and dad I'm considered a miracle, but to someone else the loss or rather the timing of my birth meant separation, sorrow and despair. I was never meant to reast in your arms, I was made from someone else's flesh and blood. The very first words I heard before my birth was not words uttered by you or dad but rather by Omma and Appa, in a language I pressume I knew then but that I now no longer knows...

The tears you've cried for me was tears created out of joy, but the tears my Omma must have cried, she has been forced to keep inside her must have been established out sorrow and despair.

Two women, in different parts of the world, totally unaware of each other yet linked to one another by the very reason. Someone's joy is established because of someone else's tragedy. Let's not forget that.

They say water is thicker than blood, but to me blood is still thicker than water... But yet, mum rest assure thay you still have a place in my heart, but I'm should be capable of loving more than just you and dad. Mum, I don't blame you, it's possible that you're going through every adoptive parents nightmare... I'm sorry for causing you the pain, but I will not go back to the ways thing used to be before. That would be impossible.

This was supposed to go on yesterday's post but seeeing that already had achieved quite a length, I'll write it now instead. In Sweden we have an annual sking race which attracts many athlets from all over the world. In Swedish it is called Vasa Loppet after the King Gustav Vasa who is remembered as to having taken the same road centuries ago...

A few years the organizers have been forced to import snow, seeing that there was none left, yet only one year has the race had to be canceled due to complete lack of snow. This year's winners were Jorgen Brink and Jenny Hansson.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

Related posts:

Separation

Ending

Fourth Separation

Pain And Greif

Devotion

I'll start by reassuring my supposed readers that luckily nothing happened between me and that old man, ehw.. he's even older than my dad. I think it comes down to the fact that I'm too polite sometimes and surprised, it wasn't like I delibrately went outside looking for a random old guy... I'm not that kind of girl, I happen to be Asian but I'm also very Swedish which means I wouldn't settle for just anything.

Devotion. I'm feeling devotion towards many things these days; fellow adoptees, to some extent Koreans, but mostly my birth family and especially my siblings and birth parents. However I wouldn't delibrately betray my younger brother (the one I've been raised with her in Sweden). I'll defend him and stand up for him, simply because I love him. So yes I am very much devoted to him too. Love and devotion comes hand in hand.

I've recently realised that there are fellow adoptees and KADs that chooses to adopt from their own birth country, until just a few months ago I couldn't seem to accept it let alone understand it. But now I think I might have started to, being adopted usually means you're raised in the Western world and every so often you're raised in a family of white Westerners. And based on my own experiences I'd say that it is likely for that child to feel peculiar since they generally don't resemble the parents and possible siblings (if they're not adopted from same country).

One way to numb that feeling is to let it fade away with motherhood; not that I'm a mother myself yet. Not even close. Another more concious choice is to adopt from same country, by doing this you might achieve fullfilment which might not even have been possible to achieve even with the thought of having your own baby.

It seems possible that any child an adoptee might have would be bircial child, Korean and Swedish in my case. This would mean that that child wold either be really similar to either one of the parents or both. But in comparison to a Korean child the child wouldn't seem that similar to its mother. In my case that would be Swedish and Korean yet that isn't 100 % certain since we live in a globalized world first and foremost, second Sweden nowadays consits of many different ethnicities.

This is pure speculations and observations, based on generalizations and published statistics. I know that there may be many exceptions, and hopefully I'll manage to write this post without stepping on any toes or irritating fellow adoptees and KADs. My intention isn't to start a debate I just want to write about my experiences, feeling and thoughts. Hopefully this is enough.

Also just because my awareness has expanded it doesn't mean I would consider adoption on a personal level even though I have no reason to complain about my childhood, upbringing or adoptive parents. But I still feel like there are things I like to discuss because if I don't than who should mention them besides me?

Why is it that I can't even go outside without being approched by slightly older men with hidden agendas? I'm so sick of this when this happens, it's not like I can return home change my clothes and then return. That's really annoying sometimes and most times.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

Related posts:

What Not

Obsticle

More Love

Past Loves

Past Loves

My very first love, used to be a past love since my first past love used to by my Omma and Appa.., now I'd like to consider them my rediscovered love. Although, I never once stopped loving them; not even for a second.

I've for sure had my share of complex and selfdoubt because I don't resemble that general beauty norm instead I am one those exotic women with long dark hair, not black, brown eyes, double eyelids and olive skin kind of beauty. This means that I've met men all throughout my life that suffered from the yellow fever.

Now that I think about even my ex boyfriend from High School was one those guys that had a clear case of yellow fever, and when it comes downs to it I believe all men except from my dad and other male relatives have had an unfortunate case of the yellow fever. An obvious assumption on my part and possibly even a prejudice, and also this a generalization. There may be exceptions but so far I have sadly to meet one...

Do all men that are attracted to Asian women have a case of yellow fever or is it just as simple that they actually like the person and isn't so concerned about the race?

However, I wasn't even aware of the fact that such a thing existed up until the last 2 or possibly 3 previous years of my life. I'm not sure if it's due to increasing awareness or expanding criticism. Or maybe just the simple fact of adulthood which makes you more self councious or aware of things like racisim.

Incidentally I was trying to cross an intersection when this old retired man decided to tag along with me. (It was really icy and a bit slippery outside). We had a smaller conversation about the Swedish drivers, and the funny thing is that he grabbed on to my armbow real thight and also insisted on going really close beside me. When I parted with this uncle he, asked me when we would get together...

Would you normally grab some random stranger just to show devotion.. ?

I can't really tell if he was trying to be funny or if he was one of those creppy old men that has a slight crush for Asian women. I think it could have been a case of the latter seeing that his tone of voice was kind of serious.

If it was like I suspect, would he have asked all young women the same thing or was he simply interested in Asian women alone?

What originally was meant to be a serious yet nice post has somehow transformed into something more sleesy. I could have decided not to write the things I did, but since I feel they are important this post has been somewhat modified.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

Related posts:

What Not To

How I Feel

Stereotypes

Korean Traits; Stubborness

Allright, remember that I told you about one of family's acquaintances ? My mum tends to make quick conclusions, assumptions and yes she assume's quite a lot to be honest. Like in most cases when there's a decision involving the entire family she basically always, always assumes I'm going to accept it just because they do.

She' also never asks weither or not we'll accept it or not, she's just assumes and speaks for the whole family usually without my knowledge.Well, accept the fact that your adoptive daughter now is a grown woman in her 20s first and foremost. Secondly accept the fact I'm Korean by birth which basically means I'm stubborn if you didn't know until now. Lastly, I've recently created my own opinions, arguments and ideas and just accept that they never will be to your liking, my opinions shouldn't have to be like that just because I'm your (adoptive) daughter.

Last month I attended a seminar about adoption, and I have to confess that it was really interesting yet I far from agree with all arguments and I don't share the same opinions. But even so I believe we shouldn't exclude people who happen to have a differing opinion just because don't share it or like it... Difference is good!

There are days when the thought of disowning my adoptive parents enters my mind, especially my adoptive mum.. I'm serious now, this thought has crossed my mind on more than one occassion... I'm unable to carry out my plans; maybe I love my mum too much. I actually couldn't live without her, she's my best friend now in my younger adulthood yet we still have our hard times.



© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

Related posts:

Koreans

Made In Korea

Korean Collectivism

Adoption Vs. Biology

No matter how hard you try one should never compare adoption with the birth of someone else's child. Why?

Because too me adoption is a concious choice, probably a choice that's taken many years and a lot of money as well while the birth of a child could be unplanned, an accident even if you will. It's not like someone choses to adopt a child by accident, in most cases at least.

Also adoptive parents usually gets more time to prepare for the addition to the family, while an expecting mother usually doesn't know that she's even pregnant to begin with.Let's not forget about the fact that the birth mother of the adoptee, had to be separated from her child. Which basically means she's usually greifing too. The adoptive parents joy is possible because of one woman's greif and loss.

Incidentally this post is really similar to my previous post from yesterday, which wasn't planned originally.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle


Related posts:

Neverending Challenge

What Not To

Adoption Portrayals

Pain And Grief

Pain And Greif Should Never Be A Comparison Game

Please, please never try too compete by comparing your greif or loss to someone else's; to me greif , sorrow and pain are relative. It depends from case to case.

For example adoptive parents may have tried to concive for years, and maybe even witnessed the loss of a child before death or after. An adoptee is removed from the place of their birth and for inter country adoptees it also means they are taken from their birth country, separated from their birth parents, siblings and other relatives.

Usually, these inter country adoptees are raised in other cultures and generally and more often they learn another mother tongue. What I'm trying here is too say that one never should try to  place people's losses and grief in relation too each other, just be humble and try to be understanding and respectful even if you can't relate.

By the way I attended the book sale yesterday and this Monday, I can't get enough books especially not cook books...

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle


Related posts:

Challenge

Illusion

Fullfilment

No Mans Land

Korean War Memorial Museum

25th June 1950 - 27th July 1953. R.I.P

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

Related posts:

Open Market

Tourist Sights

Korean Nature

Itaewon

More Itaewon