I know that more and more people these day marry without considering pregnancy and parenthood a part of the package so to say. And many people delibrately chooses to live as singles instead of in a relationship. I suppose love easily could become an obsticle instead of blessing ....
I suppose that may be way I choose not too really be approchable by it...
I do consider that for adoptees finding their birth parents or at least get knowledge of them should be considered the adoptees right not just something that is unattainble for some while others don't even have too make a big effort in order to find them. But I of course know that sadly, the reality for many adoptees means never finding complete fullfilment may be due to the fact that many still struggle with finding their birth families...
Lately I've been feeling like my mum isn't only possesive but also trying to stop me from returning to Korea, she wants me to send love from her and dad every time I write to them, my dad also suggested to remind them of their standing invitation to our home. This really annoys me very much indeed, if they're so interested in my siblings and my family they should write them, not me... I refuse to do that, to go along with them, that time is since long finished and completed.
Whenever I feel like I need to talk about sad, difficult or hard things mum always freaks out... to the point that she tells me to shout up and go talk to someone else because she doesn't want to hear about it. One could certainly wonder why...
Why is it so that my dad, usually tends to change his opinion after having heard my mum's opinion? Is he trying to keep mum calm or is he really honestly that easy influenced by another person's opinions... That's another annoying thing I've realized since moving back home...
It really seems like it's my mum that is calling the shots when it comes to mum and dad, or maybe she really is that threatened by my new devotion and dedication. But I'll tell you a secret if mum is possesive or takes me for granted, makes decision over my head without asking I usually find some way to demonstrate my dislike like I did yesterday when I was getting things out from the moving boxes I found a little embroderi the kind proud parents make of their children's birth. It said my name, my length, my height and the date of my birth I told mum I no longer wanted that and even though I know she probably became pretty sad I usually don't care because between my mum and I there's a constant hidden power struggle. So it was the same procedure as it has been for a while and yet mum never notices....
Anyways, mum quickly said she'd take it back if I didn't want it anymore. Totally fine by me.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
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Mothers are very fragile creatures. And they are also very thick-skinned. I'm sure she feels very threatened by Korea. She may be interested in your birth parents but her reasons may not be pure. She's trying to protect herself and she's also trying to have some control over the situation. By telling you that you must send greetings from her and your adoptive father to your Korean parents, she is basically marking her territory; she is claiming dominion over you in front of your Korean parents. She's doing it so your birth parents know that they are still in the picture and they won't give you up so easily.
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