Incredible Feeling

One thing that I feel is worth mention again is something that I might already have written about, but even so I feel that topic deserves a special post.

Because of the age gap between me and my older Onni's and Oppa's I of course have more than one Jokk'atal. And it was so amazing to see how much they really resembled their parents. Now I know what my future children might look like if I do decide to have children some day.

And no, I was already able to separate my siblings from each other having studied and memorized their faces and names for days before reunion. It wasn't like the Jokk'atal could be mistaken for being someone else's child because the resemblance with their Omma was so unmistakable. 

Especially the youngest Jokk'atal had a big resemblance with me, because its mother happened to be be one of my siblings that resembled me more. Five of my siblings have inherited our Oppa's looks while the remaining have inherited our Omma's looks instead. 

But to know that I resemble one of my birth parents that much gives me a great comfort and a feeling of confrimation that is worth quiet a lot too me.

Secondly, I might seem like I either take things for granted or to onesided since I only tend to write about adoption, feelings and my reunion. Of course to me at time it felt like my biggest challenge so far, luck or not I was reunited with my birth family. I know there are many, many who never gets to be reunited with neither of their parents sadly. To me to know my roots has been comforting, difficult, sad, devastating and much else...

Why should I have too feel lucky about not only about locating and comfirming my birth family's existance not too mention the will for reunion... Being adopted has unfortunately meant that I've been raised in a hidden and strong sense of gratefulness and luck. To me it hasn't been all roses and warm beaches , if you know what I mean. Being adopted is challenging enough, believe me... To be reunited ads another dimension or layer to my complex sense of self worth and identity. That's for sure...

But how many nights and days must a man walk on by before you can call him a friend?

A few days ago I was taking the train to the capital city and very soon an older foreign looking man stepped on the train. He started handing out notes that basically urged people to give him money. It sad something like this...

I'm a poor man with two children, one of them has leukemia and I need money for treatment.

Actually Sweden has free health care for those kind of diseases either he didn't know that or he knew it but was using it to get sympathy and more money (which didn't work this time since train personel noticed and told him to stop.)


© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

Related posts:

Fullfilment

Precious Moments

My Heart

Deep Down