Adoptee Arrival

So one member in my immediate family has a friend that recently became a first time mum. No big deal right, but what if I tell that this friend hasn't given birth but instead adopted a child from China!

I'm not sure how to feel about this actually, some day's I'm completely fine with this adoption thing other times I'm really annoyed by it. Can't really tell why, I wish I could. This family member of mine is especially optimistic and sort of head over heels because this friend has become an adoptive parent too. Which basically means they now have something in common, something too share.

To become a parent is supposed to be a blessing and a miracle if you will, but I'd say that that only is applicable to parents who becomes parents from biology not neccessarilly by and from adoption. Actually I'd might even be prepared to say that first time parents are the only parents that truely and honestly experience this miracle. A new life, completely new and not someone else's blood and tears.

Remember my Chinese friend? Maybe that's what's bugging me this time, someone's misary is someone else's joy. You better handle the life that really never was yours to begin with with care. My opinions are 100 % mine although I confess that the thesis has changed my opinions in some regards while it also strengthened some and replaced others... there's nothing I can do to change that. It's called personal development I suppose.

And please, if you feel like you'd like to comment on this I'm well aware of the general views, opinions and arguments like... you should feel grateful to have been adopted, to have been able to gain an oppertunity of a new life and so on... Then don't.

That might be true, however I don't completely agree with this, I had a family and still have a Korean family. I've lost that natural bond that you get with your siblings. That to me is priceless and something I'm trying my best to achive some twenty years later. I'm aware of that this task might never be fullfilled yet I long for it.

This day also marks the 25th anniversary of Olof Palmes death; he was murdered by someone on the 28th of February 1986. R.I.P.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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I can now proudly announce that I'm an aunt /imo yet again...

A few days ago I mentioned to my dad that I believed I would become a really nice baking grandmother, which might seem a bit odd and out of place since I'm only 25 (turning 25 this year), still single and havn't had any children of my own yet.

But one thing is certain I love children, yet I wouldn't consider adopting them if I would learn I wouldn't be able to become a mother to my own biological children.. That should seem so surprising to any of you, yet this revalation seems to really trigger my mum...

Children are the future, the next generation or like the late King of Pop:

We are the world.

And as long as your parents are alive you're still not an adult, it is only once your own parents has passed that you have reached maturity enough to actually be considered an adult. At least in my eyes, well what I mean is that as long as your mum or dad is still alive you are still a child to them and it doesn't matter if you're only four, 25 or 60 since what matters is if your mum and dad are still alive.


© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Lessons Learned

I'd like to offically apologize in case I may have offended anyone reading yesterday's post... My inital aim was never to offend anyone, but I know now how that post might be interpreted as...

I have learned quite a many things by heart this past few months, for instance learned that there are some things adoptees are forced to accept rather than trying to change one's faith and things that already happened. That's impossible , unless you're a Hogwarts student or Hermione Granger happened to loan you her time turner...

Even though I had mentally prepared myself for over 5 years before using a request for direct contact I wasn't prepared for what I would learn about my own destiny... I had actually prepared for every likely scenario except that one of course.

Love doesn't mean love between a man and a woman, the love that's unconditional and eternal should be valued even more. Such love can only be found in a family, with certain exceptions of course. Also, being adopted means my emotions resembles a roller coster or a swing if you will.. it also means I have to get used to recieving weird comments and too personal questions, having my ethnicity questioned, being subject of more than one prejudice although I can't think of one right now.

For me it means I will live on as a living contradiction.

I'll make this year's New Year's resolution now, and it will be to trý not to waste so much time on things that I can't change. Like things that happened in the past and especially my adoption. Since I'm finished with my thesis I think I finally will be able to fulfill or attempt to reach this goal. Why waste energy on something you can't change !? I really should start living by this...

I have a really nasty cold since a few days and usually my remedy would be tea and lots of ice cream... But now I use tea and C vitamines like in tangerines... and yeah lots of garlic too. I almost forgot it. Do you know a good remedy for colds that actually works?

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Asian Stereotypes

I think it's good be an Asian person sometimes, or more importantly Korean. The general view or misconception of Koreans are that are extremely stubborn and proud. Personally this trait might have emerged because of a natural demand for determination. A small advice is to never make a Korean or KAD annoyed, irritated or angry since that most likely will result in that stubborness and determination getting activated.


Many Asians, if not most Asians are born with double eyelids and small round noses. Because of this the most common surgical procedure apart from liposuction is double eyelid reconstruction and nose operations.

Or so I've been told... (which means this observation could be totally incorrect)

I think Korea might be more concerned with Korean stereotypes and achiving ideal beauty , at least compared to Sweden. But Sweden isn't totally free from stereotypes however I think that Swedish ideal beauty is something else than Korean ideal beauty.  This could possibly seem a bit provocative and biased, I'm totally aware of that fact. Hopefully you'l forgive me for this...


Now that I start to think about it, I remember what foreigners generally say about Swedes and more particularly Swedish women... Swedish women is supposedly known for dressing unladylike, and in comparison Korean women are far more feminine and ladylike.

But whould you expect women to wear short miniskirts and high heels in - 25 C degrees? Not many I suppose and hope, followed below is a list of some Swedish designers;

• Acne
• Odd Molly
• Filippa K
• Svea
• Cheap Monday

Swedish clothes and designers naturally seems to be more focused on making functional clothes with consideration to the Scandinavian climate.

Today I was finally able to install Korean keyboard, but still haven't quite figured out which key produces what letter... But that's at least a start.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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성형 수술

Another Day Another Cupcake

First picture above is of Peanut Butter Cupcakes, notice the peanutty colour ? Recepie found here. Receipe for these Chocolate Cupcakes has a secret ingredients; two kinds of Toffee sweets. Recepie found here .

I also made Cream Filled Cupcakes, which didn't turn out so well although flavourwise they were really tasty according to my dad. And I didn't bother making frosting like the reciepe said I should... The reason why it failed could be due to the fact that I converted the measurements to the meatric system or maybe I should have made larger dough...

Mini Cheesecake III , was really quick and easy to make. Not too sweet either.

The picture below is of Red Velvet Cupcakes , which is similar too Red Velvet Cake but in cupcake shape. The frosting was like the icing on the cake really.

Next up is:

• Apple Banana Cupcakes

• Carrot Ginger Cupcakes

• Cake Pops

Even though I like baking and cooking, I never bake the same thing twice with some exceptions of course. And no, I wasn't tempted to try this. I prefer baking over eating actually... This post is also the only insights you'll get in my daily events...

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that the Chocolate Cupcakes recepies is a Swedish recepie... This post was originally published in 23th at 23:55...


© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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No Man's Land

Being adopted means to live in Man's Land, in between Sweden and Korea although that isn't realistically possible. Instead this should be seen as strictly figuratively nothing else. Life in No Man's Land would probably be pretty lonely if it wasn't for the fact that I've recently discovered a big unwisable forum for KADs. That's extremly comforting for to me to know, yet I hope I'm not destined to a lonely life here in No Man's Land, but that I actually will manage to find someone who at least can support me and guide me through life if they might not happen to understand me.

I was supposed to do some school stuff online, but I had some Internet connection errors like the entire day. Turns out it was my furry friend on four legs with a tail, that was behind the mischief.

Oh, I forgot to mention that the annual big book sale started today at 10 AM. And apparently the Oscar gala or Party was tonight as well... Actually the Oscar gala will be held on the evening between the 27/28th not tonight.



© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Opinions And People

I can't change what people think of me, if they dislike me or my opinions then there's nothing I could do about it. But I for sure hate prejudices as much as generalizations, about Asians, Koreans adoptees, KADs and Swedes as well. As if being a female wasn't hard enough...



© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Korea is according to me strongly influenced and based on collectivism and this could not be more true for Korea. Basically everyone you meet are introduced to you by someone else, everyone's a part of at least one network. Networking is very common and a big deal in Korea but it is so common that it isn't reflected on.

One of my sisters is still unmarried and well, one of my family members wanted me too ask my dad for help to meet a potential European/Swedish husband. Based on this I have too say that I quickly was considered a part of my Korean family's small network too such an extent that even my adoptive parents were included in this network. My inital reaction was one of surprise, now I realize that I should be honoured and feel humble to be included in family matters like that.

I'm their sister afterall, there's no reason and no way to ignore, hide or escape from that.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Will I Love You More

Daughters are usually really close to their fathers when they are young, but in their teenage years that changes and the father is no longer as great and all knowing. No. And a girl's relationship to her mother is supposedly complicted until the young woman becomes a mother herself.
But who should I talk to then? There seems to be nobody that I can confide my inner thoughts too. So who will listen to me...

Regardless of challenges connected to being not only an adoptee but more so a reunited KAD, I've come to realize that I'm personally surrounded by love. That gives me a great comfort, but there's still so many things I've been deprived of because of adoption...

How much suffering and heartbreak can one heart take before it collapses in pain? How many difficulties does one person have to experience... I'm not sure, I don't have the answer.

Its a full moon tonight, are your cat crazy now ?

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Daily Dose

I suppose you could say that I'm fortunate enough to get my regular dose of well, not kimchi maybe, maybe more of my daily dose of Asia or Asian spices but only figuratively. Maybe I should try to find a place that serves seaweed soup for my birthday this year.

I will after all celebrate my 300th month which is the same as 25 years... (by Western standards) and apparently women are supposed to marry once they turn 25 which means I should have been married for a few months by now, if I had lived in Korea.

At least that's what I imagine and what I've been told from certain people...

Above picture of nature's own washing powder; non edible nuts not meant for consumption. They're really expensive.

BTW, did you know that supposedly oldest organization for KADs will be celebrating its 25th anniversary this August ? Save the date, it will be held in Stockholm... the only question is weither or not I will be attending it... That remains to be seen.


© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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