All I want to do is to live a normal life without having to worry; constantly looking over my shoulder , covering my tracks... Sometimes it seems like I can't escape my past,it's always there reminds me when I least expect it but this time I decided I'll no longer play the victim in my life I'll try to be the bigger person. The best person and version of me that I can be, I'll start by doing something radical; positive thinking and a big smile... I won't allow things from my childhood to continue being skeleton's in my closet anymore. Hey, common that's like 10 or 15 years ago, surely people would have changed by now...
And about something I said some days ago and just for the record hypothetically speaking I wouldn't be repeating my 어머니's destiny if I was to become pregnant without a husband or ring on my finger. My 어머니 was married and I'm not so it would be much worse if I at one point in time would end up pregnant. And I'm not really sure why I mentioned that in this entry because the first subject is not related to my 어머니 or my future destiny. Or at least I hope it's not related, and I'm not that kind of girl.
Sometimes I feel like I would be able to feel significantly better, more positive if I just surrounded myself with the right kind of people, made the right kind of friends. I know I am a positive and happy person, deep down with a bubbly personality it's just that I have a tendency to get stuck in what has been and negative thinking which gets more intense if I am surrounded by people who share that trait. I whish I had more positive people in my life but I don't , I'm basically just complaining now. It would be really easy to just break it of with all those people that makes me feel and think in a negative way, but I can't do that. Because it's what I always have done. I always escape or run away when I feel uncomfortable or when it gets difficult, besides I can't just abandon people just because they may feel as bad as I do because I don't think it's what friends are supposed to.
Behind a big smile, a thousand tears may hide...
©Taste of Kimchi, Elle
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Repeating Destiny
Those Days
Greif Again
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