When all is said and done... I might be all alone again traveling down a lonely road. But I'll at least have my Han Bok (made on sight).
A Han Bok is a traditional Korean costume which consists of the chogori (the jacket) and the ch'ima is underneath, that would be the actual skirt. And there's the under skirt and the undergarments and the special socks. The chogori can have a longer front part but the more modern chogori doesn't have that. For the hair there's a special hair piece, a purse and those beautiful but weird and painful shoes. But even though I'm not a married woman I do still own a Han Bok, I guess that makes me a Korean adoptee.
If everything else fails I'll at least have that, a bunch of pictures, all the memories and not to forget my new name (which isn't that new now). I wish my upcoming trip will be able to give me peace and comfort in a way that I didn't get last time. Only then will I be able to move on with my life but it would help if I somehow could get a permanent definition of my new relationship with my birth family.
My Swedish (adoptive) family has always considered themselves to be able to define and preserve me. For them I'm their daughter and I can't change that but to still insist on using their prefered name on me is really insulting. It somehows dehumanizes me into something very similar to an item, but hey I'm not an item no body's doll to play with. I'm human being, a person and I have feelings and a brain which means I can think for myself but also get hurt.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Preparations
Letter
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