Because of South Korea's established history of inter country adoption starting from the Korean war many Koreans has been adopted mostly to the US but also some to Sweden and a few other Western countries. However even if the percentages of Korean adoptees in Sweden is supposedly rather high given that 200.000 Korean children has been relinqused for inter country adoption you would think that most Swedes would be aware of this...
Actually this isn't true, many, many times I found myself trying to explain and often even defending and justifying my ethnicity and nationality knowing beforehand that I could be judged as a liar and that if I told someone I was adopted the most common questions would follow:
aren't you grateful...
happier now...
you're new parents really seems to love you
have you seen your birth family...
do you want to see them...
what's you're birth family like...
you're adoptive parents isn't you're real parents
In my case not having a destinct Korean appearances has made most foreign people second guessing themeselves about my identity. Among Swedes I am regarded as an immigrant for most people until they found out one way or another that I am an adoptee and not an ordinary immigrant...
Because of how I look people often speak to me in English, and talk behind my back in Swedish... Just because I don't look like an ethnic Swede it doesn't mean I don't know Swedish...
I'm, sorry mum but the reunion trip has changed me because of what I did find out about my birth family... None of my birth parents had agreed to sign me of to relinqishment, someone else did in my birth father's place even using his name... Naturally this has created many new doubts, feelings and opinions many which neither you or dad seems able to understand...
But try too walk in my shoes; finding out that the adoption was a mistake that it never should have happened in the first place... I don't regret that you raised me, how could I? Although the knowledge possibly changes my impression of my birth family it actually makes me even more determind to try to regain what I can...
This blog isn't even one month old yet and I've managed to talk about my adoption not once but twice or maybe even more....
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Appreciation
Thursday, 30 September 2010
Appreciation Not Gratitude
Please note that the opinions and examples mentioned in this post doesn't represent all adoptive parents in general.
I know I did upset my birth family when mentioning the past, I wasn't aware of the circumstances of my adoption before my reunion. A big fondation and general belief in the Korean culture is to not think about the past since you can't change it but instead be pleased with you got right now and look forward to the future...
For me personally this has been very hard, especially when you consider the fact that my adoptive parents always used to imply and mention that I should be grateful that I was able to live a better and more enriching life in Sweden with parents who loved me unconditionally. If it really is neccessary to label my relationship to my mum and dad then I would prefer appreciation instead of gratitude. For obvious reasons which I will explain later...
I'm not really sure if adoptive parents usually is this contradictful like mine unfortunatly are; had I been there real daughter by birth I know that there never would have been any discussions about gratitude and they never would have even as much as one thought about them having saved me. Because of the fact that my parents constantly reminded me of this and also never let me forget it; I started to behave like they expected which ultimately hurt my birth family...
I'm sorry mum, I know you love me, you say that you do and I believe you, but I'm not convinced that you love me unconditionally.. because if you honestly did love me unconditionally you never would have nagged about my supposed gratefulness towards you and dad and I do also believe that you never would have considered you and dad as my rescuers. But of course I can't be sure...
I don't doubt that you love me, I just don't like the argument of you being my rescuers implying that I have an everlasting debt to you. Neither do I like the thing about me being forced into behave and think that I should be grateful because my life would have been much worse...
I know I at one point in my teens even told my mum that I might have been forced to marry at a very early age...
Now when I think back at it , the knowledge of my birth family and the general atitude among Swedish adoptive parents now has made me feel very bad for my birth family... To me it sometimes was as if you didn't really accept me as your real daughter and yet you seemed to have forgotten the fact that my ethnicity isn't Swedish like yours... Thinking of this now makes me feel really hurt and as... But I know you both tried your best to make me one of your children, maybe I was considered as an attention seeking child or a child who only created problems...
I think this might be due because of my knowledge of my birth family, which might have made it a greater challenge for me to adjust and accept my new living environment. My brother on the other hand didn't have this issues at least not as far as I know... He didn't and still don't know anything about his birth mother so maybe it was easier for him to accept the situation. I'm not sure. I was relinqused at a little over 2 months and was adopted to Sweden a month later or so. I don't have any memories or feelings of my birth parents or family but just knowing of them might have made me feel very conflicted...
And yes, I do honestly love my mum and dad but there are many things that I can't seem to accept...
♥쳐음은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Please Read
I know I did upset my birth family when mentioning the past, I wasn't aware of the circumstances of my adoption before my reunion. A big fondation and general belief in the Korean culture is to not think about the past since you can't change it but instead be pleased with you got right now and look forward to the future...
For me personally this has been very hard, especially when you consider the fact that my adoptive parents always used to imply and mention that I should be grateful that I was able to live a better and more enriching life in Sweden with parents who loved me unconditionally. If it really is neccessary to label my relationship to my mum and dad then I would prefer appreciation instead of gratitude. For obvious reasons which I will explain later...
I'm not really sure if adoptive parents usually is this contradictful like mine unfortunatly are; had I been there real daughter by birth I know that there never would have been any discussions about gratitude and they never would have even as much as one thought about them having saved me. Because of the fact that my parents constantly reminded me of this and also never let me forget it; I started to behave like they expected which ultimately hurt my birth family...
I'm sorry mum, I know you love me, you say that you do and I believe you, but I'm not convinced that you love me unconditionally.. because if you honestly did love me unconditionally you never would have nagged about my supposed gratefulness towards you and dad and I do also believe that you never would have considered you and dad as my rescuers. But of course I can't be sure...
I don't doubt that you love me, I just don't like the argument of you being my rescuers implying that I have an everlasting debt to you. Neither do I like the thing about me being forced into behave and think that I should be grateful because my life would have been much worse...
I know I at one point in my teens even told my mum that I might have been forced to marry at a very early age...
Now when I think back at it , the knowledge of my birth family and the general atitude among Swedish adoptive parents now has made me feel very bad for my birth family... To me it sometimes was as if you didn't really accept me as your real daughter and yet you seemed to have forgotten the fact that my ethnicity isn't Swedish like yours... Thinking of this now makes me feel really hurt and as... But I know you both tried your best to make me one of your children, maybe I was considered as an attention seeking child or a child who only created problems...
I think this might be due because of my knowledge of my birth family, which might have made it a greater challenge for me to adjust and accept my new living environment. My brother on the other hand didn't have this issues at least not as far as I know... He didn't and still don't know anything about his birth mother so maybe it was easier for him to accept the situation. I'm not sure. I was relinqused at a little over 2 months and was adopted to Sweden a month later or so. I don't have any memories or feelings of my birth parents or family but just knowing of them might have made me feel very conflicted...
And yes, I do honestly love my mum and dad but there are many things that I can't seem to accept...
♥쳐음은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Please Read
Wednesday, 29 September 2010
Kim Kyong Hui
Apparently not only Kim Jung Un the 26 year old son to Kim Jong Il, will become the new national leader and there are two proof of this claim.
♥쳐음은안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
- The name Kim Jung Un is no longer an acceptable name for newborn babies and those who happen to share the same name is forced to offically change it
- The date January 8, which supposedly is the birthday of Kim Jung Un has been proclaimed a national holiday
♥쳐음은안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
The Best And Worst Day Of My Life
The best of my 24th years long life is without a doubt the first meeting with my birth family in Korea for obvious reasons. It is not an exageration when I say that it was something I had longed, wished and dreamed of for about 19 years or so...
But it also was the worst moment of my 24th years old long life, unfortunately.. Why ? Well to be honest is was all because of my adoptive parents who had insisted on joining me on my first reunion trip ever to Korea. The second reason is due to my experience of several, all and strong feelings simultaneously; feeling happy yet sad, relieved and anxious, fitting in yet standing out. Getting answers to my 20 years old long questions but also creating new ones while there...
Also sometimes my mum and dad are really unfair, demanding me to act like a robot, than expecting me to be fine if they reprimand me and than not understanding if I get mad or uppset if they cause a scene out in public. This is usually what happens on our family vacations and it's unfortunately not a lie.. It's true but it was the last time I allowed that to happen for sure... Things will be different from now on, bet my words...
However it was not only the best day of my life but also the best moments, and trip forever despite my parents ability to destroy my bliss of family happiness...
The first meeting was planned on our second day in Korea at the adoption agency's office with the assisstance of the social worker who had helped both me and my birth family to get in contact but also with translation and planning of the reunion. The social worker would act like an interpretor and possibly also help assist us all if there would questions or missunderstandings because of cultural diffferences...
Both you and dad tried to be supportive but constantly asking if I'm allright or assume tha it's difficult really isn't making things any easier...
♥쳐금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Preparing For Reunion
But it also was the worst moment of my 24th years old long life, unfortunately.. Why ? Well to be honest is was all because of my adoptive parents who had insisted on joining me on my first reunion trip ever to Korea. The second reason is due to my experience of several, all and strong feelings simultaneously; feeling happy yet sad, relieved and anxious, fitting in yet standing out. Getting answers to my 20 years old long questions but also creating new ones while there...
Also sometimes my mum and dad are really unfair, demanding me to act like a robot, than expecting me to be fine if they reprimand me and than not understanding if I get mad or uppset if they cause a scene out in public. This is usually what happens on our family vacations and it's unfortunately not a lie.. It's true but it was the last time I allowed that to happen for sure... Things will be different from now on, bet my words...
However it was not only the best day of my life but also the best moments, and trip forever despite my parents ability to destroy my bliss of family happiness...
The first meeting was planned on our second day in Korea at the adoption agency's office with the assisstance of the social worker who had helped both me and my birth family to get in contact but also with translation and planning of the reunion. The social worker would act like an interpretor and possibly also help assist us all if there would questions or missunderstandings because of cultural diffferences...
Both you and dad tried to be supportive but constantly asking if I'm allright or assume tha it's difficult really isn't making things any easier...
♥쳐금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Preparing For Reunion
Monday, 27 September 2010
Preparing For Reunion
When I decided to take the last final step to be reunited with my birth family I hesitated at first once it really seemed possible to and when I heard back from my parents... Then my heart broke into a thousand pieces shattered all over and then I hesistated so much that I even considered canceling the trip. My first trip to Korea and reunion after almost 25 years...
Hearing back from eomini and abeoji made me spend two weeks in confusion and with constant tears in my eyes, I first cried because of their words, then I thought about what I had been robbed off and cried some more, then I cried again because I suddenly felt so alone,small, powerless and insignificant. After that I attempted to stop crying but couldn't stop myself because I was thinking how sad it was that I was crying from hearing what I dreamed of hearing for my enitre life. And so I tried my best to stop crying but failed and started crying again because I couldn't stop and this was repeated maybe four or five times. When I finally stopped crying the New Years Eve had passed and a bright new year had already started...
I spent approximatly three months feeling nothing, being completely numb to all impressions. I started planning the trip and only after that I cried again. Ever since then I'm more sensitive towards similiar situtions and feel sad more often then before.
I didn't think so much about weither or not I should be going there alone... Earlier I had talked to my dad about bringing him alone, my mum would go with my younger brother. That I had no problems to accept but once my dad and I prepared the final stages my mum probably realized that she might never be able to go to Korea with my brother so she demanded that she'd come too.
Now things had really developed into a stage which I really didn't like and I could already sense the outcome of it... I had initally thought about going to Korea at a time when the country is at its best but again, mum talked me out out of applying for a delayed Semester start and instead told me what she had heard:
That it wasn't recommended to visit Korea first time alone
Then it was settled my mum and dad would go with me weither I liked it or not. And as a result we ended up plaining the reunion for no longer then 3 weeks and with departure from Sweden in June. Had I gone alone I might have been able to stay longer then I did this time.
Mum, I'm sorry but you and dad was not reunited with anybody in Korea, it was me who was reunited with my birth family. If it hadn't been for me I'm sure you never would have meet them or been concerned about them. You only knew my birth family through me; your adoptive daughter. You were there on vacation, but I wasn't I went there with a purpose and a mission you didn't.
Mum you , you try you're best to understand but as long as you're not accepting and open towards me and my new outlook on life you will never be able to truly understand what I'm going through. Did you spend the days worrying and contempleting about what they would think of you? Did you constantly feel sad.. very close too crying, not finding the words to express yourself, did you? Can you understand how it felt to meet my birth family, to see the family resemblance but still being a stranger among them... Someone they couldn't communicate with other then by actions... Do you honestly know how it made me feel, and honestly to have you and dad there as well made my experience even more difficult.
Mum, I'm still not sure how it feels but I do know this being robbed of my culture without being asked about it has made me even more determind to reclaim the things I can. My name, my personal name is the only link I have to my birth family and it's the only part that I'm proud of. I'm sorry but it's the truth, not being able to talk to them as freely as I would have liked made me decide to apply for Korean language studies starting next semester, hopefully. Since you denied me all of those things that was a part of my original identity I know it might seem threating for you and dad. I'm not going to apologize for it if it makes you feel sad. I'm an adult and I'm proud of my Korean heritage and this might be the only way for me to express and proof my love for them...
There's actually a pretty valid and justified reason why I would have prefered to go without my mum or even all alone... I'll explain all that very soon in a future post.
♥쳐근은아녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Little Or No Background
What If And Maybe
Hearing back from eomini and abeoji made me spend two weeks in confusion and with constant tears in my eyes, I first cried because of their words, then I thought about what I had been robbed off and cried some more, then I cried again because I suddenly felt so alone,small, powerless and insignificant. After that I attempted to stop crying but couldn't stop myself because I was thinking how sad it was that I was crying from hearing what I dreamed of hearing for my enitre life. And so I tried my best to stop crying but failed and started crying again because I couldn't stop and this was repeated maybe four or five times. When I finally stopped crying the New Years Eve had passed and a bright new year had already started...
I spent approximatly three months feeling nothing, being completely numb to all impressions. I started planning the trip and only after that I cried again. Ever since then I'm more sensitive towards similiar situtions and feel sad more often then before.
I didn't think so much about weither or not I should be going there alone... Earlier I had talked to my dad about bringing him alone, my mum would go with my younger brother. That I had no problems to accept but once my dad and I prepared the final stages my mum probably realized that she might never be able to go to Korea with my brother so she demanded that she'd come too.
Now things had really developed into a stage which I really didn't like and I could already sense the outcome of it... I had initally thought about going to Korea at a time when the country is at its best but again, mum talked me out out of applying for a delayed Semester start and instead told me what she had heard:
That it wasn't recommended to visit Korea first time alone
Then it was settled my mum and dad would go with me weither I liked it or not. And as a result we ended up plaining the reunion for no longer then 3 weeks and with departure from Sweden in June. Had I gone alone I might have been able to stay longer then I did this time.
Mum, I'm sorry but you and dad was not reunited with anybody in Korea, it was me who was reunited with my birth family. If it hadn't been for me I'm sure you never would have meet them or been concerned about them. You only knew my birth family through me; your adoptive daughter. You were there on vacation, but I wasn't I went there with a purpose and a mission you didn't.
Mum you , you try you're best to understand but as long as you're not accepting and open towards me and my new outlook on life you will never be able to truly understand what I'm going through. Did you spend the days worrying and contempleting about what they would think of you? Did you constantly feel sad.. very close too crying, not finding the words to express yourself, did you? Can you understand how it felt to meet my birth family, to see the family resemblance but still being a stranger among them... Someone they couldn't communicate with other then by actions... Do you honestly know how it made me feel, and honestly to have you and dad there as well made my experience even more difficult.
Mum, I'm still not sure how it feels but I do know this being robbed of my culture without being asked about it has made me even more determind to reclaim the things I can. My name, my personal name is the only link I have to my birth family and it's the only part that I'm proud of. I'm sorry but it's the truth, not being able to talk to them as freely as I would have liked made me decide to apply for Korean language studies starting next semester, hopefully. Since you denied me all of those things that was a part of my original identity I know it might seem threating for you and dad. I'm not going to apologize for it if it makes you feel sad. I'm an adult and I'm proud of my Korean heritage and this might be the only way for me to express and proof my love for them...
There's actually a pretty valid and justified reason why I would have prefered to go without my mum or even all alone... I'll explain all that very soon in a future post.
♥쳐근은아녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Little Or No Background
What If And Maybe
Female Suffrage
In the aftermath of Sweden's general election this a post about female suffrage in Sweden and Korea.
The first time Swedish women was able to voice their opinion in an election was as ealy as 1718 to 1771, and 30 % of all females was given suffrage. The first time female suffrage was discussed in the parliament was in 1884 but recieved very little support. It was not until 1900 that the fight for female suffrage had become a priority question, but it was only in 1917 that a majority for female suffrage was established. Two years later in 1919 the first decision concerning general female suffrage in muncipality elections only and by 1921 female suffrage was implemented and ever since then Sweden has practized general suffrage.
Compared to South Korean women who was not given female suffrage until 1948 after World War II during the rein of Syngman Rhee under what was called The Representative Democratic Council. Please note that the above information about female suffrage in Korea might not be accurate because of my inexperience...
♥쳐금은 안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Consequences Of The General Election
The first time Swedish women was able to voice their opinion in an election was as ealy as 1718 to 1771, and 30 % of all females was given suffrage. The first time female suffrage was discussed in the parliament was in 1884 but recieved very little support. It was not until 1900 that the fight for female suffrage had become a priority question, but it was only in 1917 that a majority for female suffrage was established. Two years later in 1919 the first decision concerning general female suffrage in muncipality elections only and by 1921 female suffrage was implemented and ever since then Sweden has practized general suffrage.
Compared to South Korean women who was not given female suffrage until 1948 after World War II during the rein of Syngman Rhee under what was called The Representative Democratic Council. Please note that the above information about female suffrage in Korea might not be accurate because of my inexperience...
♥쳐금은 안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Consequences Of The General Election
Saturday, 25 September 2010
How To Make ♥ Korean Food♥
Learn how to make authentic Korean Kimchi
Learn how to make sweet Korean rice cake Mochi
Learn how to make Korean Kalbi Beef Barbeque
Learn how to make Korean Bulgogi
Learn how to make Korean Bibimbap
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now.♥
Related posts:
Korean Food
Learn how to make sweet Korean rice cake Mochi
Learn how to make Korean Kalbi Beef Barbeque
Learn how to make Korean Bulgogi
Learn how to make Korean Bibimbap
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now.♥
Related posts:
Korean Food
Friday, 24 September 2010
♥Korean Food♥
Pictures of authentic Korean food while in Korea
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now. ♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now. ♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Word Of Advice
I would strongly advise prospective parents to truly assess if they are mentally prepared, stable and mature enough to handle an inter country adoption no matter from what relinqusing country. If one of the prospective parents might be very insecure or need constant reassurance and confrimation then I wouldn't exactly advise against it but especially; for a person that might portray such tendencies it will become much more complicated and difficult for that person to satify not only the needs of their future adoptive child but might actually only increase their own insecurities in the end...
If you still feel determind to finish an international adoption process then I just hope that in case of insecurity in the adoptive parents they are wise enough to seek professional help...
♥쳐금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
My Personal Experience
Exception From The Rule
If you still feel determind to finish an international adoption process then I just hope that in case of insecurity in the adoptive parents they are wise enough to seek professional help...
♥쳐금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
My Personal Experience
Exception From The Rule
Inter Country Adoption Swedish Style
The following is only based on my personal experiences and shouldn't be viewed or considered as a general representation or experience of Korean adoptees in Sweden or abroad...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
My Adoptive Parents A Real Contradiction
- When prospective adoptive parents is informed of an available child they very often pressume it is an orphan or child who needs to be rescued from a very bad life
- Almost immediately or even before getting the message they've been waiting for so long to recieve they start to think of babynames, Swedish baby names
- They don't even consider the need for the child to gain knowledge and experiences of Korean culture other then from fellow adoptive families and such
- They truly seem to believe that adoption the child's happiness is restored and their original culture and possible memories of it is also erased
- They repeat, remind and tell the adoptive child mostly indirectly or by minor indications the child was saved and therefore should be grateful towards his or her's new parents
- By impossing the belief that child should be forever grateful the child may at first truly start to believe this; what adoptive parents not only wants the child to believe but also very much belives themeselves
- An adoptee that has been saved and gained a new loving family should be happy and not become critical towards international adoption or especially Korean adoption...
♥쳐금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
My Adoptive Parents A Real Contradiction
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
My Adoptive Parents A Real Contradiction
My adoptive parents are happily married to each other, they had everyhting that they could wish for, almost everything. The only thing they both missed was the pitterpatter of small feet, the sound of children's voices so instead of trying to concive naturally but with assisstance they mutually decided on inter country adoption.
By adoption internationally, an orphan child they would have preformed a good deed and saved a poor child from his or hers unfortunate future.
We might not be able to rescue them all but if we can help only one or two children by adoption them, then we would have rescued them.
Is international adoption really that bad? Wouldn't you much rather prefer to be raised in a new family instead of growing up in an orphanage or left on the streets ?
Being raised in an orphanage without the care of living parents is very cruel, every child should have a right to their own family with parents who love them unconditionally.
Inter country adoption is a very fast solution to in a simple way erase any memories from a child's birth family and culture, almost ensuring them of the impossibility or difficulty to learn their native tongue when they grow older.
My adoptive parents has encouraged me to search for my birth family and my dad was the one that insisted that I would request a reunion this summer.
Yet I'm not sure if they really were mentally prepared for the outcome and results out of it... Maybe you never can be...
My adoptive parents almost immediately decided to change my Korean birth name into a more Swedish one.
As a result of being reunited with my birth family I decided to look into the possibility of regaining my birth name, this has for obvious reasons upset my adoptive parents.
Maybe I wouldn't be so drawn to my birth family had you been more open and accepting to the fact that it was nothing else than luck that made me become your daughter. Maybe then I wouldn't have felt a need to apply for a name change or to start studying Korean as an adult.
In my earlier childhood year I wasn't avare of the fact that it would have been possible for me to enrol in a Korean school to learn my native tongue. Niether did I know that the muncipalities is obligated to offer possibilites of native language courses for adopted children if a requested amount of children applies for it.
I'm not sure if my mum and dad knew this or not or if they simply wasn't interested because they truly considered me as their daughter which means that I shouldn't learn Korean as by my adoption made me as close to an ethnic Swede as I possibly could be.
When the actual reunion was planned my dad was the first one I wanted to join me, my mum later also insisted joining us. I'm not sure what they believed they would experience or not... But I'm almost convinced my mum was dissaponited because why else would she especially feel a need to cause a scence by diciplining me, or ordering me not to this and that and why else would my dad order that I gave him my camera? Dad was did something you decided to do out of your own head or had mum ordered you to this? All I knew when this first happened twice; but at two different occassions was that I felt really humiliated. Now I also know that it's not allowed to take an adults things from them, it's not allowed according the Swedish law and not to forget it felt like I was treated like child and someone who didn't understand.
Wasn't it so that you both became so insecure, being in an unknown culture, with unknown people in an unknown situation that you felt you had impose your owner rights on me? Making people avare of the fact that I wasn't just an ordinary Korean but belonged to you, even if that meant making me uncomfortable and even causing a scene...
Once I asked my mum if I would have screamed being born and mum answered:
You don't really think your birth mother got to see, do you? Because it says in your pappers that she didn't ....
Prior to that I had asked if she believed my birth parents and mostly my birth mother would have been able to see me.... This happened years ago, before I knew what really happened.
There must have been some really justified and hidden meaning with you become our daughter...
I confess that I used to believe this was true only a few years ago... The meaning is that I was relinqused for inter country adoption and eventuelly ended up in your family. But if you imply that this would conspire and lead to a happier life for me once I found the purpose then I'm sorry. I don't believe this for one second and no I'm actually not even sorry.
You only say this things out loud and to yourself to make yourself look better and to ultimately stop me from thinking of my birth family and all the what if's...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
♥쳐근음안녕. Bye for now.♥
Related posts:
Inter Country Adoption Swedish style
Adoption Agencies In Sweden
By adoption internationally, an orphan child they would have preformed a good deed and saved a poor child from his or hers unfortunate future.
We might not be able to rescue them all but if we can help only one or two children by adoption them, then we would have rescued them.
Is international adoption really that bad? Wouldn't you much rather prefer to be raised in a new family instead of growing up in an orphanage or left on the streets ?
Being raised in an orphanage without the care of living parents is very cruel, every child should have a right to their own family with parents who love them unconditionally.
Inter country adoption is a very fast solution to in a simple way erase any memories from a child's birth family and culture, almost ensuring them of the impossibility or difficulty to learn their native tongue when they grow older.
My adoptive parents has encouraged me to search for my birth family and my dad was the one that insisted that I would request a reunion this summer.
Yet I'm not sure if they really were mentally prepared for the outcome and results out of it... Maybe you never can be...
My adoptive parents almost immediately decided to change my Korean birth name into a more Swedish one.
As a result of being reunited with my birth family I decided to look into the possibility of regaining my birth name, this has for obvious reasons upset my adoptive parents.
Maybe I wouldn't be so drawn to my birth family had you been more open and accepting to the fact that it was nothing else than luck that made me become your daughter. Maybe then I wouldn't have felt a need to apply for a name change or to start studying Korean as an adult.
In my earlier childhood year I wasn't avare of the fact that it would have been possible for me to enrol in a Korean school to learn my native tongue. Niether did I know that the muncipalities is obligated to offer possibilites of native language courses for adopted children if a requested amount of children applies for it.
I'm not sure if my mum and dad knew this or not or if they simply wasn't interested because they truly considered me as their daughter which means that I shouldn't learn Korean as by my adoption made me as close to an ethnic Swede as I possibly could be.
When the actual reunion was planned my dad was the first one I wanted to join me, my mum later also insisted joining us. I'm not sure what they believed they would experience or not... But I'm almost convinced my mum was dissaponited because why else would she especially feel a need to cause a scence by diciplining me, or ordering me not to this and that and why else would my dad order that I gave him my camera? Dad was did something you decided to do out of your own head or had mum ordered you to this? All I knew when this first happened twice; but at two different occassions was that I felt really humiliated. Now I also know that it's not allowed to take an adults things from them, it's not allowed according the Swedish law and not to forget it felt like I was treated like child and someone who didn't understand.
Wasn't it so that you both became so insecure, being in an unknown culture, with unknown people in an unknown situation that you felt you had impose your owner rights on me? Making people avare of the fact that I wasn't just an ordinary Korean but belonged to you, even if that meant making me uncomfortable and even causing a scene...
Once I asked my mum if I would have screamed being born and mum answered:
You don't really think your birth mother got to see, do you? Because it says in your pappers that she didn't ....
Prior to that I had asked if she believed my birth parents and mostly my birth mother would have been able to see me.... This happened years ago, before I knew what really happened.
There must have been some really justified and hidden meaning with you become our daughter...
I confess that I used to believe this was true only a few years ago... The meaning is that I was relinqused for inter country adoption and eventuelly ended up in your family. But if you imply that this would conspire and lead to a happier life for me once I found the purpose then I'm sorry. I don't believe this for one second and no I'm actually not even sorry.
You only say this things out loud and to yourself to make yourself look better and to ultimately stop me from thinking of my birth family and all the what if's...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
♥쳐근음안녕. Bye for now.♥
Related posts:
Inter Country Adoption Swedish style
Adoption Agencies In Sweden
Happy Chuseok!!!!
So it's an official holdiday for 3 days in Korea now called Chuseok Harvest Moon Festival. It's supposed to be similar to Thanksgiving...
Dates for Chuseok:
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Future Plans
Change Of Plans Sort Of
Dates for Chuseok:
- the 22 of September of 2010
- the 12th September of 2011
- the 30th September of 2012
- the 19th September of 2013
- the 8th September of 2014
- the 27th of September 2015
- the 15th September of 2016
- the 4th October of 2017
- the 24th September of 2018
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now.♥
Future Plans
Change Of Plans Sort Of
Tuesday, 21 September 2010
Exception From The Rule
I didn't intend to make prospective adoptive parents afraid of adopting internationally, neither did I attemp to try to make them have a change of heart. I do respect that people have different value systems and I don't intent to change them. I'm avare of the fact that my case for adoption might be one of the few excepetions from the rule, but I do stress that I still don't know exactly what happened or know the entire story. And I assume it would be hard to prove if this that has happened to me is common, I don't think it is. Based on this I might come across as angry, sad and maybe even resentful...
Hopefully I'm the only exception to the basic rule but since I don't know for sure if anyone has had the same thing happen I would let that rest its case. Yet I also know that because of the many Korean children that is being adopted and has been adopted so far I'm sure I'm not the only who have been a victim of irregularity of some kind. Not all Korean birth mother's are single mothers, unmarried or widowed some are married and maybe even have had other children in the past... But just be aware of the fact that your child's real family history and reason for adoption might be more complicated then you think...
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
My Personal Experience
Hopefully I'm the only exception to the basic rule but since I don't know for sure if anyone has had the same thing happen I would let that rest its case. Yet I also know that because of the many Korean children that is being adopted and has been adopted so far I'm sure I'm not the only who have been a victim of irregularity of some kind. Not all Korean birth mother's are single mothers, unmarried or widowed some are married and maybe even have had other children in the past... But just be aware of the fact that your child's real family history and reason for adoption might be more complicated then you think...
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
My Personal Experience
Kim Jung - Un
Who's Kim Jung - Un? Never heard of him, but apparently he is the youngest grandson to Kim Il Sung and youngest son to Kim Jong Il. Not only that but he's believed to be the heir to step into power once his father resigns from office... But no one has yet seen any pictures of him or know what he looks like...
♥쳐금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
♥쳐금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
♥To Omma♥
Omma, or eomoni as I will call you most of the time, you have never had the experience of raising me, not even seen my face. Instead I've had another mother, which I've come to call my mum, she is the one I take after in behaviour and such, she raised my as her daughter. But omma, I never forget you, every time I look in the mirror I remember you and Aboiji... Every time before I sleep I think of you, my other family; my first family on the other side of the world. I might be Swedish in many ways a part from my appearance and maybe also other physical and heredatory things of which I'm not aware. Maybe one day will come when I will be able to meet you and Appa, then you could get a first look at me. I really hope I do resemble at least one of you...
♥쳐금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Arirang And Mideum
Things I do
♥쳐금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Arirang And Mideum
Things I do
The What If And Maybe
During my childhood especially I was concerned with questions such as what if if... what if I wasn't born in the hospital... what if my birth mother had seen me after birth... what if the adoption papers never had been signed.. what if I would have remained at the orphanage... Would I have been taken home to my birth family?
When I was in Korea this summer I asked about my social study and I was informed that someone else other than my birth father had signed the consent for inter country adoption with his name...
Mum you know this to, so why do you blame me for my feelings and opinions...? I can't change the past and I wouldn't try to even if I could. But knowing this makes me realize that if everything would have been as it should I never would have been relinqused in the first place, never offered to you and dad. I know this and the knowledge of this hurt so much and sometimes mum I know I might be drawn far to much to my birth mum and dad.... It isn't because I want to delibrately hurt you or to make you or dad cry it is simply because I want to try to make things right.
Mum why do I feel like I have to explain and justify myself to you?
You know it as much as I do, that it was nothing else than a series of unfortunate events that made it possible for you to adopt me. If things would have developed as they should have I might never have become your daughter by adoption, our paths and faiths most likely would never have meet...
Mum are you aware of this? Mum please don't make me feel guilty for wanting to get to know my birth family or to try to make things right again...
♥쳐금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Mum and I
Changes
When I was in Korea this summer I asked about my social study and I was informed that someone else other than my birth father had signed the consent for inter country adoption with his name...
Mum you know this to, so why do you blame me for my feelings and opinions...? I can't change the past and I wouldn't try to even if I could. But knowing this makes me realize that if everything would have been as it should I never would have been relinqused in the first place, never offered to you and dad. I know this and the knowledge of this hurt so much and sometimes mum I know I might be drawn far to much to my birth mum and dad.... It isn't because I want to delibrately hurt you or to make you or dad cry it is simply because I want to try to make things right.
Mum why do I feel like I have to explain and justify myself to you?
You know it as much as I do, that it was nothing else than a series of unfortunate events that made it possible for you to adopt me. If things would have developed as they should have I might never have become your daughter by adoption, our paths and faiths most likely would never have meet...
Mum are you aware of this? Mum please don't make me feel guilty for wanting to get to know my birth family or to try to make things right again...
♥쳐금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Mum and I
Changes
Monday, 20 September 2010
Little Or No Background Versus A Known Background
I have unlike my adoptive brother always known about my birth family while my brother had very little and vague information in general. My brother's birth mother was an unmarried woman and his birth father is believed to be married with another woman. Because of the fact that he seemed to be the result of a love affair the information we had about his birth family is likely to be a constructed version of reality with dishonest information.
Because he knew very early on in life that the likelihood for him to find his birth mother would be very slim he seemed to be accepting this, maybe because he thinks it would be next to impossible to find his birth mother. While I on the other hand has the very opposite personality compared to him; he being outgoing, social and popular while I am more introvert, not as social and not having as many friends. As far as I know my brother has never thought as much about his Korean birth parents as I have, but I can't be sure about it...
I'm to be honest not sure if he really believes this be true or if he believes he would never be able to find his birth father because of the fact that my mum has told him the likelihood of that. When I took the first insecure steps towards locating my birth family my mum in particular asked me not to talk to my brother about this, possibly thinking that if I did my brother might begin to think about his birth parents as well. Maybe thinking about doing a family search too but knowing from the start that he wouldn't be able to get the wished result from it.
When my brother and I talked about our respective birth familes it went something like this;
"My father was a coop and my maternal grand father a business man.
"My birth parents was married and had already had older children."
Because the dominant heridatory rule of male heirs in Asia and also based on what it said in my papers my adoptive parents also told me at a very young age that I was adopted because I was a daughter, not a son.
This did no matter how you look at it make me resenting my birth parents at first and when my mum and dad continued to tell me that I might have had a younger brother by birth.... Let's just say things didn't exactly get any easier, my initial reaction and thought was that I was unwanted and unloved because of my gender and I was jealous of my younger brother.
My adoptive parents has later on told me that compared to my birth family my life has been much easier and happer. Again how could they possible know this? Has my mum or dad ever visited Korea or do they know any ethnic Koreans on which they could base this opinion? No, not really. I wouldn't like to go as far as to say that I'm happier than I would have been in Korea with my birth family. Because of the different cultures I'm convinced that our life's has been very different but not less happier and happier. No only different.
So no, mum, I'm sorry. But my life might have been happy even if I would have remained in Korea... My birth parents wanted me but unfortunate events made things progress they way they did. Mum, you're partially right that my life might not have been as free would I have lived in Korea, but not unhappier. What I might have lacked in terms of material possessions and wealth I would experience and receive in terms of family love and sibling love, the special relationship you form when you are raised in a big family household. I might have been poor in money but rich in terms of love...
For one thing mum, I would never have had to be alone for the first 5 years of my life... Honestly mum do you consider money is more important then love?
What was so horrible and of such major importance that you ordered me not to talk about my birth family and birth family search... Was it the notion and chance of my brother getting similar thoughts and your own insecurity and worst fear; of losing your younger son as well, had I talked to him about it? Were you and dad truly afraid that you might end up losing twoo children instead of one or was it just a reflection of your own insecurities mum?
♥쳐근은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Blame
What If And Maybe
Because he knew very early on in life that the likelihood for him to find his birth mother would be very slim he seemed to be accepting this, maybe because he thinks it would be next to impossible to find his birth mother. While I on the other hand has the very opposite personality compared to him; he being outgoing, social and popular while I am more introvert, not as social and not having as many friends. As far as I know my brother has never thought as much about his Korean birth parents as I have, but I can't be sure about it...
I'm to be honest not sure if he really believes this be true or if he believes he would never be able to find his birth father because of the fact that my mum has told him the likelihood of that. When I took the first insecure steps towards locating my birth family my mum in particular asked me not to talk to my brother about this, possibly thinking that if I did my brother might begin to think about his birth parents as well. Maybe thinking about doing a family search too but knowing from the start that he wouldn't be able to get the wished result from it.
When my brother and I talked about our respective birth familes it went something like this;
"My father was a coop and my maternal grand father a business man.
"My birth parents was married and had already had older children."
Because the dominant heridatory rule of male heirs in Asia and also based on what it said in my papers my adoptive parents also told me at a very young age that I was adopted because I was a daughter, not a son.
This did no matter how you look at it make me resenting my birth parents at first and when my mum and dad continued to tell me that I might have had a younger brother by birth.... Let's just say things didn't exactly get any easier, my initial reaction and thought was that I was unwanted and unloved because of my gender and I was jealous of my younger brother.
My adoptive parents has later on told me that compared to my birth family my life has been much easier and happer. Again how could they possible know this? Has my mum or dad ever visited Korea or do they know any ethnic Koreans on which they could base this opinion? No, not really. I wouldn't like to go as far as to say that I'm happier than I would have been in Korea with my birth family. Because of the different cultures I'm convinced that our life's has been very different but not less happier and happier. No only different.
So no, mum, I'm sorry. But my life might have been happy even if I would have remained in Korea... My birth parents wanted me but unfortunate events made things progress they way they did. Mum, you're partially right that my life might not have been as free would I have lived in Korea, but not unhappier. What I might have lacked in terms of material possessions and wealth I would experience and receive in terms of family love and sibling love, the special relationship you form when you are raised in a big family household. I might have been poor in money but rich in terms of love...
For one thing mum, I would never have had to be alone for the first 5 years of my life... Honestly mum do you consider money is more important then love?
What was so horrible and of such major importance that you ordered me not to talk about my birth family and birth family search... Was it the notion and chance of my brother getting similar thoughts and your own insecurity and worst fear; of losing your younger son as well, had I talked to him about it? Were you and dad truly afraid that you might end up losing twoo children instead of one or was it just a reflection of your own insecurities mum?
♥쳐근은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Blame
What If And Maybe
Blame
Mum, please don't blame for being critical towards Korean inter country adoption, how could I possibly have a positive opinion about it? Why, do you seem so surprised when you know exactly what I base my opinion on. And please don't ask to feel grateful towards you and dad when I'm constantly reminded of what I lost....
I think it's safe to say that I for sure will not be turning to international adoption if I would be unable to conceive in the future. Especially based on my experiences from Korean inter country adoption I personally can't even be supportive of it. I'm not willing to be responsible for an innocent child and really, honestly what kind of a role model would I be? And could I honestly and truthfully say that I would be able offer a child a safe environment and stable foundation? If I did the circle would never.. only continue... So no I will not..
I don't blame my birth family for one second, even if some might say I should. As far as I'm concerned they and I were both victimized. But mum, please don't try to change my opinion, you don't need to agree with me which you has repeated and proved more than once. But please try to at least respect my opinion as I respect yours even if I don't accept it. To change a person's opinions and beliefs; something out of the ordinary must happen or else the person will never change which usually happens. Mostly a person can develop his or her own critical thinking by time or a newly gained knowledge but don't try too force a person to change their mind.
♥쳐근은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Pain Is Relative
I think it's safe to say that I for sure will not be turning to international adoption if I would be unable to conceive in the future. Especially based on my experiences from Korean inter country adoption I personally can't even be supportive of it. I'm not willing to be responsible for an innocent child and really, honestly what kind of a role model would I be? And could I honestly and truthfully say that I would be able offer a child a safe environment and stable foundation? If I did the circle would never.. only continue... So no I will not..
I don't blame my birth family for one second, even if some might say I should. As far as I'm concerned they and I were both victimized. But mum, please don't try to change my opinion, you don't need to agree with me which you has repeated and proved more than once. But please try to at least respect my opinion as I respect yours even if I don't accept it. To change a person's opinions and beliefs; something out of the ordinary must happen or else the person will never change which usually happens. Mostly a person can develop his or her own critical thinking by time or a newly gained knowledge but don't try too force a person to change their mind.
♥쳐근은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Pain Is Relative
Sunday, 19 September 2010
Consequences Of The General Election
As an international adoptee I've for sure experienced my shares of problems relating to my ethnicity and appearance not being that of a stereotype Swede. But let me just, point out that Sweden is a multicultural society with many different ethnicities. Also coming from a smaller suburbian town where the xenophobic Political Parties was represented I became aware of this concern very early in my life.
This tendencies seemed to grow even stronger as the years went on and in the last election in 2006, one xenophobic political party was able to gain representation in the muncipal representation in a few muncipalities all over the country. The results from the last election meant that we in Sweden experienced a political party shift from the left wing Social Democratic Party which had held a majority government ever since 1989, to the right wing Moderate Party which gained majority votes mainly because of a political Alliance with the collaboration between the Moderate Party, The Centre Party, The Liberal People's Party and the Christian Democrats.
This year, the 19th September of 2010, as we I'm writing this post the election party watch is ongoing as the votes is in the process of being counted. This year the threat, at least as media portrays it is that the xenophobic party is going to get enough majority votes to be represented in the Swedish government. If you're interested to know if I voted and what I voted for let's just say I didn't vote for the xenophobic Party or any political party within the Alliance.
The likelihood of this election is that the Alliance or more particularly, the Moderate Party will not be able to gain enough majority votes to form a majority government. Instead expert predictions and the voting tendencies seems to aim for a minority government between the left wing parties such as the Swedish Social Democratic Party, Left Party and the Green Party.
The only threat to not only the election but also the democratic foundation to Swedish politics and society is that the xenophic party gains enough percentages to get representation in the government. If this happen they would lobby for a xenophic Sweden and being an intertional adoptee, as I am I'm a threat to the Swedish foundation and beliefs as far as the xenophic party is concerned. I represent the multicultural immigration to Sweden that is the very thing that the xenophic Sweden Democrats dislikes and wants significantly to reduce.
Also prior the election the Swedish Democrats not only fired their Party leader but also cancelled his membership when it gained knowledge of his grown Indian adopted daughter...
I think that says it all about what that party represents, and I'm sorry if this small information about an xenophobic party is uppsetting for some. The Party leaders has stated that as long as they are able to gain support for their three biggest political issues they will not cause any political problems. If they gain enough votes for reprenstation in the government...
Let me just reasure everyone who might be reading, that I don't support their opinions or belief because to me that would be like resenting myself...
At the same time the Green Party especially has stated that they are prepared to request a reelection if the xenophobic party gains representation in the goverment...
But I wonder if a re- eclection really would be that wise, wouldn't it turn out to be to the Sweden Democrats advantage possibly and likely giving it even more percentages and parliamentary seats...
Like in any elections there are a few percentages of voters who decides to don't vote or simply don't care enough, so is the threat of the Sweden Democrats a pr - stunt to influence more voters to participate in the voting process ? Or is it as a big a threat that media claims?
According to statitistics the Sweden Democrats supporters, most likely to vote for them are; men, young people, unemployed and members of the Swedish Trade Union... A likely scenaro is that Sweden will have a minority government where the Sweden Democrats is given the final voice, in earlier governments the Green Party has had the last voice.... If the left wing , right wing parties and the Green Party isn't open to create an alliance then it's like the Sweden Democrats might be given an ideal role.
Tomorrow I will wake up to more xenophobic Sweden compared to yesterday and I only have one thought in mind. As many of you know Korean adoptees will be accepted for application of reclaiming their Korean nationality and I have had thoughts of doing this, and I might still consider this... But now when Sweden is likely to become more xenophobic I wonder what would happen if I not only applied for it bot also was granted joint nationality; Swedish and Korean. Would I no longer be able to access the rights of Swedish ciztizens? Would my home country no longer be Sweden, would I be forced to move to Korea?...
Maybe, maybe not.. only time will tell...
I'm sorry, but I'm not so concerned with who Sweden's next Prime Minister will be.. but I know I should... Apparently as expected the Alliance and the Red Green movement is open to a cross political barriers alliance which would mean that Sweden Democrats might not gain so much to say after all... so maybe there will be not be so many permanent and lasting changes that would forever transform Sweden and make it more hostile towards immigrants and most Swedish citizens... But the xenophobic party will represent Sweden in the Parliament starting from the 22 of September as well as the Swedish government unfortunately...
As no party was fortunate enough to gain enough percentages to became a majority government it is up to the Swedish Speaker to announce the new Swedish Prime Minister who will start reign on the 8th of October later this year... And it isn't sue that the Swedish Prime Minister will be a Moderate Party leader which means Mr Reinfeldt might be forced to step down...´
And as of right now it looks the Sweden Democrats will be representing in the government but what many seemed to have forget is that the election isn't completed until Swedes residing overseas has had their votes sorted and the same goes for the pre votes for Tuseday and Wednesday they still need to counted as well.... The Moderate Party needs only 3 more mandats to be able to create a majority government...
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
New Era In Swedish Politics
This tendencies seemed to grow even stronger as the years went on and in the last election in 2006, one xenophobic political party was able to gain representation in the muncipal representation in a few muncipalities all over the country. The results from the last election meant that we in Sweden experienced a political party shift from the left wing Social Democratic Party which had held a majority government ever since 1989, to the right wing Moderate Party which gained majority votes mainly because of a political Alliance with the collaboration between the Moderate Party, The Centre Party, The Liberal People's Party and the Christian Democrats.
This year, the 19th September of 2010, as we I'm writing this post the election party watch is ongoing as the votes is in the process of being counted. This year the threat, at least as media portrays it is that the xenophobic party is going to get enough majority votes to be represented in the Swedish government. If you're interested to know if I voted and what I voted for let's just say I didn't vote for the xenophobic Party or any political party within the Alliance.
The likelihood of this election is that the Alliance or more particularly, the Moderate Party will not be able to gain enough majority votes to form a majority government. Instead expert predictions and the voting tendencies seems to aim for a minority government between the left wing parties such as the Swedish Social Democratic Party, Left Party and the Green Party.
The only threat to not only the election but also the democratic foundation to Swedish politics and society is that the xenophic party gains enough percentages to get representation in the government. If this happen they would lobby for a xenophic Sweden and being an intertional adoptee, as I am I'm a threat to the Swedish foundation and beliefs as far as the xenophic party is concerned. I represent the multicultural immigration to Sweden that is the very thing that the xenophic Sweden Democrats dislikes and wants significantly to reduce.
Also prior the election the Swedish Democrats not only fired their Party leader but also cancelled his membership when it gained knowledge of his grown Indian adopted daughter...
I think that says it all about what that party represents, and I'm sorry if this small information about an xenophobic party is uppsetting for some. The Party leaders has stated that as long as they are able to gain support for their three biggest political issues they will not cause any political problems. If they gain enough votes for reprenstation in the government...
Let me just reasure everyone who might be reading, that I don't support their opinions or belief because to me that would be like resenting myself...
At the same time the Green Party especially has stated that they are prepared to request a reelection if the xenophobic party gains representation in the goverment...
But I wonder if a re- eclection really would be that wise, wouldn't it turn out to be to the Sweden Democrats advantage possibly and likely giving it even more percentages and parliamentary seats...
Like in any elections there are a few percentages of voters who decides to don't vote or simply don't care enough, so is the threat of the Sweden Democrats a pr - stunt to influence more voters to participate in the voting process ? Or is it as a big a threat that media claims?
According to statitistics the Sweden Democrats supporters, most likely to vote for them are; men, young people, unemployed and members of the Swedish Trade Union... A likely scenaro is that Sweden will have a minority government where the Sweden Democrats is given the final voice, in earlier governments the Green Party has had the last voice.... If the left wing , right wing parties and the Green Party isn't open to create an alliance then it's like the Sweden Democrats might be given an ideal role.
Tomorrow I will wake up to more xenophobic Sweden compared to yesterday and I only have one thought in mind. As many of you know Korean adoptees will be accepted for application of reclaiming their Korean nationality and I have had thoughts of doing this, and I might still consider this... But now when Sweden is likely to become more xenophobic I wonder what would happen if I not only applied for it bot also was granted joint nationality; Swedish and Korean. Would I no longer be able to access the rights of Swedish ciztizens? Would my home country no longer be Sweden, would I be forced to move to Korea?...
Maybe, maybe not.. only time will tell...
I'm sorry, but I'm not so concerned with who Sweden's next Prime Minister will be.. but I know I should... Apparently as expected the Alliance and the Red Green movement is open to a cross political barriers alliance which would mean that Sweden Democrats might not gain so much to say after all... so maybe there will be not be so many permanent and lasting changes that would forever transform Sweden and make it more hostile towards immigrants and most Swedish citizens... But the xenophobic party will represent Sweden in the Parliament starting from the 22 of September as well as the Swedish government unfortunately...
As no party was fortunate enough to gain enough percentages to became a majority government it is up to the Swedish Speaker to announce the new Swedish Prime Minister who will start reign on the 8th of October later this year... And it isn't sue that the Swedish Prime Minister will be a Moderate Party leader which means Mr Reinfeldt might be forced to step down...´
And as of right now it looks the Sweden Democrats will be representing in the government but what many seemed to have forget is that the election isn't completed until Swedes residing overseas has had their votes sorted and the same goes for the pre votes for Tuseday and Wednesday they still need to counted as well.... The Moderate Party needs only 3 more mandats to be able to create a majority government...
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
New Era In Swedish Politics
Pain Is Relative
I know my adoption, or rather they way I choose to portray it, might seem a bit dark and painful. This is exactly how I feel... But I know that if I would have been adopted at an older age or placed at an orphanage permanently the pain from that would most likely have been much greater compared to being adopted as an infant...
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
What If And Maybe
♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
What If And Maybe
My Personal Experience
My adoptive parents and I have a loving but complicated relationship, I wasn't able to figure out the cause of it but now I think I finally have. First of all, my adoptive parents which I call mum and dad, was unable to have their own biological children thus they decided to choose inter country adoption... So far everything is good.
Here come's the tricky part which I will try my best portray in a fair way; my mum and dad they actually represent that annoying misconsumption about inter country adoption. I know this for a fact because my mum especially has talked to me and during some of our talks and discussions she has said exactly what an adoptive parent shouldn't say, no matter what the circumstances... At least not at loud and especially not to her adoptive children... Your life would have been harder. What!!?? How could my mum even say such a thing!!?? Does she; my adoptive mum have that much knowledge of Korean culture and life first of all. Second, how could she know for sure how my life would have been if I wasn't adopted ...
My adoptive parents truly believe they have done a good deed when they adopted me over 20 years ago, as far as they're concerned they have preformed a good deed. They've saved me from a harsh faith and hard life.. This is what they truly believe....
And I even used to believe this was true, unfortunately, but since I've was very young I've always known about my other family. My first family; my birth parents; eomoni and aboiji, as well as my older siblings. Knowing that I had parents that were married to each other and who had more children besides me I've spent a lot of time thinking of them....
But as I grew older my mum and dad told me that my birth parents might not be alive...
Knowing of my birth family, and the fact that I was seperated from them and robbed of not only my real family but also my culture and language I refuse to accept the notion and belief of me being saved by my adoptive parents. The reason for this is simply, because I had to loose everything, and I mean everything I had; to gain a new bright future in another culture, society and state with strangers for parents.
I lost the two most important people in a young girl's life, because of adoption, I've also lost the bound between my older siblings, never been able to experience real sibling love. Not been able to talk about boys with my sister's, not been able to barrow clothes from them or quarelled with them over some nonsense thing. These are all the things I've lost so no I will not go around believing or conforming what you want me to say;
I will never confirm that I was saved and gained a better life and brighter future because I know what I have lost, some of the things I've lost I could easily regain others I might never be able to recieve or experience....
♥쳐금은 아녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Please Read
Social Discrimination of Adoptees
Here come's the tricky part which I will try my best portray in a fair way; my mum and dad they actually represent that annoying misconsumption about inter country adoption. I know this for a fact because my mum especially has talked to me and during some of our talks and discussions she has said exactly what an adoptive parent shouldn't say, no matter what the circumstances... At least not at loud and especially not to her adoptive children... Your life would have been harder. What!!?? How could my mum even say such a thing!!?? Does she; my adoptive mum have that much knowledge of Korean culture and life first of all. Second, how could she know for sure how my life would have been if I wasn't adopted ...
My adoptive parents truly believe they have done a good deed when they adopted me over 20 years ago, as far as they're concerned they have preformed a good deed. They've saved me from a harsh faith and hard life.. This is what they truly believe....
And I even used to believe this was true, unfortunately, but since I've was very young I've always known about my other family. My first family; my birth parents; eomoni and aboiji, as well as my older siblings. Knowing that I had parents that were married to each other and who had more children besides me I've spent a lot of time thinking of them....
But as I grew older my mum and dad told me that my birth parents might not be alive...
Knowing of my birth family, and the fact that I was seperated from them and robbed of not only my real family but also my culture and language I refuse to accept the notion and belief of me being saved by my adoptive parents. The reason for this is simply, because I had to loose everything, and I mean everything I had; to gain a new bright future in another culture, society and state with strangers for parents.
I lost the two most important people in a young girl's life, because of adoption, I've also lost the bound between my older siblings, never been able to experience real sibling love. Not been able to talk about boys with my sister's, not been able to barrow clothes from them or quarelled with them over some nonsense thing. These are all the things I've lost so no I will not go around believing or conforming what you want me to say;
I will never confirm that I was saved and gained a better life and brighter future because I know what I have lost, some of the things I've lost I could easily regain others I might never be able to recieve or experience....
♥쳐금은 아녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Please Read
Social Discrimination of Adoptees
Social Discrimination Of Adoptees
I don't know how many is aware of this even in Sweden, and unfortunatly I don't know that much of it... But the thing I know is that the Swedish authorities started to issue specific number combinations in the last for digits in the Swedish adopted children's personal number.
I am one of those who was unfortunate to recieve this specific number combination in my personal identification number. When my brother was adopted 5 years later or so he wasn't given this specific number combination. This was because the government a few years erlier decided to end that obvious discrimination.
♥챠금은 안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Word of Advice
Inter Country Adoption Swedish style
I am one of those who was unfortunate to recieve this specific number combination in my personal identification number. When my brother was adopted 5 years later or so he wasn't given this specific number combination. This was because the government a few years erlier decided to end that obvious discrimination.
♥챠금은 안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Word of Advice
Inter Country Adoption Swedish style
Please Read
My blog Vocabulary.
Please read this if; it’s your first time on this blog.
This blog is run by me a reunited KAD, not an authority or organization. I write about life in Sweden, my thoughts, experiences and feeling. Because internationally adopted is not as easy people generally thinks.
Greatfulness, gratitude or anything similiar is not a word I try too use so please try to avoid using this word.
God/Jesus/Allah/Muhammed/Buddha what have you, these words don’t belong on this so don’t bring it up here. The only time religion might be discussed is if I bring up Korea's religion.
Please note ; stupid questions will get... stupid answers!!!???
Better of... expressions like better of now will not be tolerated, whatsoever.
Happier now.../here or whatever is also not an expression I’m found of.
Go back home... don’t get me started in this comment, you don’t know how many times that thought has crossed my mind. But going back home for me is not easy since I do at times not know where I’m supposed to be. Ultimately I don’t know where my real home is.
You’re an immigrant... well, yes I would like to call myself an immigrant since I’m not an ethnic Swede first of all but also since I have another cultural or ethnical belonging.
You’re adoptive parents aren’t you’re real parents... Seriously if you choose to say this too me here or in person. You’ve seriously crossed the line... I’m aware of the reasoning, but then let me ask what’s real? Is it really that easy?
You was adopted since you were a girl...well yes, indircetly it is true but try too say this too my face and well.. you’ll be very sorry.
You’re birth parents didn’t love you... again seriuosly you don’t want this discussion with me. So don’t start it.
Important facts, please read this before asking questions...
1.I was adopted to Sweden from Korea at a very young age, my birth mother never even got too see my or hold me after my birth. They never knew what I looked like, they didn’t even choose my personal name... Instead my adoptive parents who I sometimes call adoptive parents, Swedish parents mum or dad ; mother and father. They’re the people that’s that’s my parents. They’ve raised me learned me everything I know, apart from my vivid memories from Korea and my appearances and DNA I do feel more Swedish then Korean at times.
2. I was raised with a younger adoptive brother in Sweden, he is the brother I was raised with and has grown to love unconditionally dispite no real blood relation.
3. No, I will never truly understand or consent too families in Sweden having big families because we don’t need children in order to survive so don’t attack me with comments about that.
4. No, I don’t think I ever will support inter country adoption, at least not in cases were there is a complete family in involved one way or another. I believe its better to try too focus on improving and strengtening the living conditions within the country and only resort to inter country adoption as a last resort. When no other option is available.
5. Personally speaking I don’t believe I would ever be able to resort to inter country adoption if I was unable to have biological children. But I may at one time change my mind, but as of right now that’s not very likely...
6. Being reunited with your birth family is never easy and don’t give me advice on that topic unless I havn’t asked for it...
7. None of the published pictures is up for grabs. I will not tolerate it.
8. If you would like to contact me please leave a comment and I might get back to you.
9. Get you’re facts straight if you’re legally adopted your legal parents are called adoptive parents if you weren’t legally adopted you’re parents wouldn’t legally be yours then they would be called foster parents.!!??
10.Only expection from the rules are; people who have meet me in person, knows me really well or is either a friend or family member
♥챠금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Please read this if; it’s your first time on this blog.
This blog is run by me a reunited KAD, not an authority or organization. I write about life in Sweden, my thoughts, experiences and feeling. Because internationally adopted is not as easy people generally thinks.
Greatfulness, gratitude or anything similiar is not a word I try too use so please try to avoid using this word.
God/Jesus/Allah/Muhammed/Buddha what have you, these words don’t belong on this so don’t bring it up here. The only time religion might be discussed is if I bring up Korea's religion.
Please note ; stupid questions will get... stupid answers!!!???
Better of... expressions like better of now will not be tolerated, whatsoever.
Happier now.../here or whatever is also not an expression I’m found of.
Go back home... don’t get me started in this comment, you don’t know how many times that thought has crossed my mind. But going back home for me is not easy since I do at times not know where I’m supposed to be. Ultimately I don’t know where my real home is.
You’re an immigrant... well, yes I would like to call myself an immigrant since I’m not an ethnic Swede first of all but also since I have another cultural or ethnical belonging.
You’re adoptive parents aren’t you’re real parents... Seriously if you choose to say this too me here or in person. You’ve seriously crossed the line... I’m aware of the reasoning, but then let me ask what’s real? Is it really that easy?
You was adopted since you were a girl...well yes, indircetly it is true but try too say this too my face and well.. you’ll be very sorry.
You’re birth parents didn’t love you... again seriuosly you don’t want this discussion with me. So don’t start it.
Important facts, please read this before asking questions...
1.I was adopted to Sweden from Korea at a very young age, my birth mother never even got too see my or hold me after my birth. They never knew what I looked like, they didn’t even choose my personal name... Instead my adoptive parents who I sometimes call adoptive parents, Swedish parents mum or dad ; mother and father. They’re the people that’s that’s my parents. They’ve raised me learned me everything I know, apart from my vivid memories from Korea and my appearances and DNA I do feel more Swedish then Korean at times.
2. I was raised with a younger adoptive brother in Sweden, he is the brother I was raised with and has grown to love unconditionally dispite no real blood relation.
3. No, I will never truly understand or consent too families in Sweden having big families because we don’t need children in order to survive so don’t attack me with comments about that.
4. No, I don’t think I ever will support inter country adoption, at least not in cases were there is a complete family in involved one way or another. I believe its better to try too focus on improving and strengtening the living conditions within the country and only resort to inter country adoption as a last resort. When no other option is available.
5. Personally speaking I don’t believe I would ever be able to resort to inter country adoption if I was unable to have biological children. But I may at one time change my mind, but as of right now that’s not very likely...
6. Being reunited with your birth family is never easy and don’t give me advice on that topic unless I havn’t asked for it...
7. None of the published pictures is up for grabs. I will not tolerate it.
8. If you would like to contact me please leave a comment and I might get back to you.
9. Get you’re facts straight if you’re legally adopted your legal parents are called adoptive parents if you weren’t legally adopted you’re parents wouldn’t legally be yours then they would be called foster parents.!!??
10.Only expection from the rules are; people who have meet me in person, knows me really well or is either a friend or family member
♥챠금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
New Blog
I've decided to move from metrobloggen: 7thsister - this is me over to this one because I didn't like the narrow options and possibilites for blog layouts. See link in my blogglinks.This blog has been deleted by now.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
♥챠금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
Related posts:
Please read
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
♥챠금은안녕. Bye for now.♥
Related posts:
Please read
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