My adoptive parents are happily married to each other, they had everyhting that they could wish for, almost everything. The only thing they both missed was the pitterpatter of small feet, the sound of children's voices so instead of trying to concive naturally but with assisstance they mutually decided on inter country adoption.
By adoption internationally, an orphan child they would have preformed a good deed and saved a poor child from his or hers unfortunate future.
We might not be able to rescue them all but if we can help only one or two children by adoption them, then we would have rescued them.
Is international adoption really that bad? Wouldn't you much rather prefer to be raised in a new family instead of growing up in an orphanage or left on the streets ?
Being raised in an orphanage without the care of living parents is very cruel, every child should have a right to their own family with parents who love them unconditionally.
Inter country adoption is a very fast solution to in a simple way erase any memories from a child's birth family and culture, almost ensuring them of the impossibility or difficulty to learn their native tongue when they grow older.
My adoptive parents has encouraged me to search for my birth family and my dad was the one that insisted that I would request a reunion this summer.
Yet I'm not sure if they really were mentally prepared for the outcome and results out of it... Maybe you never can be...
My adoptive parents almost immediately decided to change my Korean birth name into a more Swedish one.
As a result of being reunited with my birth family I decided to look into the possibility of regaining my birth name, this has for obvious reasons upset my adoptive parents.
Maybe I wouldn't be so drawn to my birth family had you been more open and accepting to the fact that it was nothing else than luck that made me become your daughter. Maybe then I wouldn't have felt a need to apply for a name change or to start studying Korean as an adult.
In my earlier childhood year I wasn't avare of the fact that it would have been possible for me to enrol in a Korean school to learn my native tongue. Niether did I know that the muncipalities is obligated to offer possibilites of native language courses for adopted children if a requested amount of children applies for it.
I'm not sure if my mum and dad knew this or not or if they simply wasn't interested because they truly considered me as their daughter which means that I shouldn't learn Korean as by my adoption made me as close to an ethnic Swede as I possibly could be.
When the actual reunion was planned my dad was the first one I wanted to join me, my mum later also insisted joining us. I'm not sure what they believed they would experience or not... But I'm almost convinced my mum was dissaponited because why else would she especially feel a need to cause a scence by diciplining me, or ordering me not to this and that and why else would my dad order that I gave him my camera? Dad was did something you decided to do out of your own head or had mum ordered you to this? All I knew when this first happened twice; but at two different occassions was that I felt really humiliated. Now I also know that it's not allowed to take an adults things from them, it's not allowed according the Swedish law and not to forget it felt like I was treated like child and someone who didn't understand.
Wasn't it so that you both became so insecure, being in an unknown culture, with unknown people in an unknown situation that you felt you had impose your owner rights on me? Making people avare of the fact that I wasn't just an ordinary Korean but belonged to you, even if that meant making me uncomfortable and even causing a scene...
Once I asked my mum if I would have screamed being born and mum answered:
You don't really think your birth mother got to see, do you? Because it says in your pappers that she didn't ....
Prior to that I had asked if she believed my birth parents and mostly my birth mother would have been able to see me.... This happened years ago, before I knew what really happened.
There must have been some really justified and hidden meaning with you become our daughter...
I confess that I used to believe this was true only a few years ago... The meaning is that I was relinqused for inter country adoption and eventuelly ended up in your family. But if you imply that this would conspire and lead to a happier life for me once I found the purpose then I'm sorry. I don't believe this for one second and no I'm actually not even sorry.
You only say this things out loud and to yourself to make yourself look better and to ultimately stop me from thinking of my birth family and all the what if's...
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
♥쳐근음안녕. Bye for now.♥
Related posts:
Inter Country Adoption Swedish style
Adoption Agencies In Sweden
No comments:
Post a Comment