Justificiation

Because of South Korea's established history of inter country adoption starting from the Korean war many Koreans has been adopted mostly to the US but also some to Sweden and a few other Western countries. However even if the percentages of Korean adoptees in Sweden is supposedly rather high given that 200.000 Korean children has been relinqused for inter country adoption you would think that most Swedes would be aware of this...

Actually this isn't true, many, many times I found myself trying to explain and often even defending and justifying my ethnicity and nationality knowing beforehand that I could be judged as a liar and that if I told someone I was adopted the most common questions would follow:

aren't  you grateful...
happier now...
you're new  parents really seems to love you
have you seen your birth family...
do you want to see them...
what's you're birth family like...
you're adoptive parents isn't you're real parents

In my case not having a destinct Korean appearances has made most foreign people second guessing themeselves about my identity. Among Swedes I am regarded as an immigrant for most people until they found out one way or another that I am an adoptee and not an ordinary immigrant...

Because of how I look people often speak to me in English, and talk behind my back in Swedish... Just because I don't look like an ethnic Swede it doesn't mean I don't know Swedish...

I'm, sorry mum but the reunion trip has changed me because of what I did find out about my birth family... None of my birth parents had agreed to sign me of to relinqishment, someone else did in my birth father's place even using his name... Naturally this has created many new doubts, feelings and opinions many which neither you or dad seems able to understand...

But try too walk in my shoes; finding out that the adoption was a mistake that it never should have happened in the first place... I don't regret that you raised me, how could I? Although the knowledge possibly changes my impression of my birth family it actually makes me even more determind to try to regain what I can...

This blog isn't even one month old yet and I've managed to talk about my adoption not once but twice or maybe even more....

♥쳐금은안녕.Bye for now.♥

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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Appreciation