Daughters are usually really close to their fathers when they are young, but in their teenage years that changes and the father is no longer as great and all knowing. No. And a girl's relationship to her mother is supposedly complicted until the young woman becomes a mother herself.
But who should I talk to then? There seems to be nobody that I can confide my inner thoughts too. So who will listen to me...
Regardless of challenges connected to being not only an adoptee but more so a reunited KAD, I've come to realize that I'm personally surrounded by love. That gives me a great comfort, but there's still so many things I've been deprived of because of adoption...
How much suffering and heartbreak can one heart take before it collapses in pain? How many difficulties does one person have to experience... I'm not sure, I don't have the answer.
Its a full moon tonight, are your cat crazy now ?
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Rejection
My Heart
Love
Sunday, 20 February 2011
Saturday, 19 February 2011
Daily Dose
I suppose you could say that I'm fortunate enough to get my regular dose of well, not kimchi maybe, maybe more of my daily dose of Asia or Asian spices but only figuratively. Maybe I should try to find a place that serves seaweed soup for my birthday this year.
I will after all celebrate my 300th month which is the same as 25 years... (by Western standards) and apparently women are supposed to marry once they turn 25 which means I should have been married for a few months by now, if I had lived in Korea.
At least that's what I imagine and what I've been told from certain people...
Above picture of nature's own washing powder; non edible nuts not meant for consumption. They're really expensive.
BTW, did you know that supposedly oldest organization for KADs will be celebrating its 25th anniversary this August ? Save the date, it will be held in Stockholm... the only question is weither or not I will be attending it... That remains to be seen.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Korean Language
Dirty Korean
Made In Korea
I will after all celebrate my 300th month which is the same as 25 years... (by Western standards) and apparently women are supposed to marry once they turn 25 which means I should have been married for a few months by now, if I had lived in Korea.
At least that's what I imagine and what I've been told from certain people...
BTW, did you know that supposedly oldest organization for KADs will be celebrating its 25th anniversary this August ? Save the date, it will be held in Stockholm... the only question is weither or not I will be attending it... That remains to be seen.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Korean Language
Dirty Korean
Made In Korea
Friday, 18 February 2011
Fourth Separation Or Temporary Farewell
My reunion trip ended sooner than everyone had expected and as I'm concerned we had just eased up to each other, that inital akwardness was not so much present as it was in the beginning of my journey. Of course the language barrier still made communication a bit difficult but compared to the first few days things had improved to the better.
Surprisingly two of my dongsaeng's seemed to be more open and accepting of me; the Swedish Oni. It really hurt that the siblings that seemed to be most curious and accepting of me as a younger sister was the ones I still couldn't speak directly to without anyone translating.
But can a farewell really be compared with a fourth separation? My life continues in the same path, almost untouched by the reunion. Their lives might be more changed than mine , but honestly I really should stop comparing everything and anything.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Separation
미안해
언니
Surprisingly two of my dongsaeng's seemed to be more open and accepting of me; the Swedish Oni. It really hurt that the siblings that seemed to be most curious and accepting of me as a younger sister was the ones I still couldn't speak directly to without anyone translating.
But can a farewell really be compared with a fourth separation? My life continues in the same path, almost untouched by the reunion. Their lives might be more changed than mine , but honestly I really should stop comparing everything and anything.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Separation
미안해
언니
Thursday, 17 February 2011
한국인 한국의
This is what I currently thinks about 한국의 Hangolôi 한국인 Hangôlin
A minor hint some of my blog posts are written for future publishing but I don't use automatic posting... To make one thing clear I have already planned which post to publish and since I only post once day I have preplanned post ready for posting until March and some even later... There's a very high possibility that posts that you currently are viewing right now have partially or entirely been written one or two months ago, but of course published in the actual date of the post.
I have now put the ball in motion, started to roll the wheels let's see what happens,but I'm not going to spill the beans just yet about what I'm planning and what it could be. Unfortunately, I think that I won't be able to share my secret with you, supposedly it won't be a secret for so long. But even so I prefer not reveil anything in case it will come back to haunt me, because you never know who's out there. And no, I'm actually not aware of what kind of people it is that are reading my blog. I have a guess about my ordinary readers but that's all...
Regarding secrets and confessions now.... It seems like the biggest secret and success of Coca Cola finally is out, the recepie has apparently leaked out... Could be just a rumour of course, but if it really is the recepie than I suppose the future of Coca Cola Company is threatened big time.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
한글
나의 가족
입양인
감사합니다
미안해
성형 수술
A minor hint some of my blog posts are written for future publishing but I don't use automatic posting... To make one thing clear I have already planned which post to publish and since I only post once day I have preplanned post ready for posting until March and some even later... There's a very high possibility that posts that you currently are viewing right now have partially or entirely been written one or two months ago, but of course published in the actual date of the post.
I have now put the ball in motion, started to roll the wheels let's see what happens,
Regarding secrets and confessions now.... It seems like the biggest secret and success of Coca Cola finally is out, the recepie has apparently leaked out... Could be just a rumour of course, but if it really is the recepie than I suppose the future of Coca Cola Company is threatened big time.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
한글
나의 가족
입양인
감사합니다
미안해
성형 수술
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
Hallyu
한류 Hallyu ... I guess most of you know what that word means, it's Korean and stands for Korean popular culture. Accordingly it's international popularity started to decrease in 2004 and the series Eternal Love, Autumn Tale, Winter Sonata, Spring Waltz and Summer Scent is supposed to be one of the major events.
Not be excluded is the drama, Full House featuring Song Hye Kyu and Rain in the main roles.
Recently historical costume dramas like Queen Seon Duk, Empress Chun Chu, Iljimae and Yisan is still broadcasted in Korea. And fact is that Korean dramas are very popular since it lacks unmoral elemtns like, violence, crimes and sex....
Empress Chun Chu Episode 1 Part 1
Unfortunately but not surprisingly not one of this dramas is broadcasted in Sweden, so if I want to watch them I either have to watch from my screen (computor) or order the drama from Korea, which I suppose is from where you order them.
Pop icons and singers like Rain, Clazziquai project and Shinhwa seems to have represented the spread of Korean pop music overseas. Nowadays more and more people have at least heard of pop groups like SS501, SNDS Wonder Girls and Super Junior.
I could easilly name more dramas and pop singers and pop groups but if I do I'm afraid that this post will be far to long... So I will refrain from doing so, at least this time.
Please note that this is my third post containing youtube clips...
Not be excluded is the drama, Full House featuring Song Hye Kyu and Rain in the main roles.
Autumn In My Heart Episode 1 Episode 1
Winter Sonata Episode 1 Part 1
Spring Waltz Episode 1 Part 1
Summer Scent Episode 1 Part 1
Empress Chun Chu Episode 1 Part 1
Queen Seon Duk Episode 1 Part 1
Yi San Episode 1 Part 1
Unfortunately but not surprisingly not one of this dramas is broadcasted in Sweden, so if I want to watch them I either have to watch from my screen (computor) or order the drama from Korea, which I suppose is from where you order them.
Pop icons and singers like Rain, Clazziquai project and Shinhwa seems to have represented the spread of Korean pop music overseas. Nowadays more and more people have at least heard of pop groups like SS501, SNDS Wonder Girls and Super Junior.
Rain
SNDS Wondergirls
SS501
SNDS Girls Generation
Super Junior
I could easilly name more dramas and pop singers and pop groups but if I do I'm afraid that this post will be far to long... So I will refrain from doing so, at least this time.
Please note that this is my third post containing youtube clips...
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Orphan
As defined by Oxford Online Dictionary...
Related posts:
Wall
Weil
Adoption
1. A person, esp. a child, both of whose parents are dead (or, rarely, one of whose parents has died). In extended use: an abandoned or neglected child.
a. fig. A person or thing deprived of protection, advantages, benefits, or happiness previously enjoyed; something which has been abandoned or ignored.See article orphan.n
Related posts:
Wall
Weil
Adoption
Monday, 14 February 2011
More From Itaewon
For Valentine's Day I decided to offer another set of pictures from Korea and Seoul these were also taken in Itaewon. Please excuze some of the pictures which are a bit blurry I know.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Open Market
Tourist Sights
Korean Nature
Seoul City
Itaewon
Sunday, 13 February 2011
Made In Korea
Too me Koreans are a very nice people until some extent, of course not being able to understand what some of them might say behind my back is a blessing sometimes. Actually people have never assumed that I'm from North Korea since I don't have that stamp made in Korea tattooed on my forehead.
I just look like an Asian, could be Chinese, Indian, Pakistani, you name it that is of course annoying at times but actually also a relief occassionally. But I'm proud to be Korean so I don't know what I could try to change to make people more aware of my real ethnic heritage.Me not knowing Korean isn't that strange if you believe I'm Indian, Pakistani or even Afghani. But once you understand that I'm Korean that's when it get's weird. Because I should know Korean since I'm Korean by birth but not by upbringing.
Then my knowledge of a foreign language regardless of my Asian origin will always be strange to other Asians. And my ability to speak Swedish fluently can only mean one thing.
I'm an adoptee or KAD. I just wish people wouldn't be so upthight, that instead of just assuming or secondguessing my supposed heritage I whish they , other Asian people could be brave enough to actually ask me !?
Why is it that most Swedes as well other foreigners and immigrants introduces themselves to me by using 20 really-personal-questions-because-it's-important-for-me-to-know-where-you're-from-you're parents don't look-Swedish... kind of questions. Those questions really annoys me but if it is the right person who ask them believe me, than I will actually do my best to answer them.
I have delibrately chosen to exclude fellow Swedish Korean adoptees, mainly because they don't blog in English ... At least that's my excuse... This way it also fells like I'm secure and safe able to write about things I imagine other Korean adoptees might dwell upon and this way I believe it's little chance other KADs in Sweden will get knowledge not only of this blog but also of my opinions...
The Seollal celebrations was funny, although my gut feeling said otherwise I soon got confrimation on my suspicions, and I now have the answer to something I've been wondering about for quite some time.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Separation
Korean Language
Unpatriotic Swede
I just look like an Asian, could be Chinese, Indian, Pakistani, you name it that is of course annoying at times but actually also a relief occassionally. But I'm proud to be Korean so I don't know what I could try to change to make people more aware of my real ethnic heritage.Me not knowing Korean isn't that strange if you believe I'm Indian, Pakistani or even Afghani. But once you understand that I'm Korean that's when it get's weird. Because I should know Korean since I'm Korean by birth but not by upbringing.
Then my knowledge of a foreign language regardless of my Asian origin will always be strange to other Asians. And my ability to speak Swedish fluently can only mean one thing.
I'm an adoptee or KAD. I just wish people wouldn't be so upthight, that instead of just assuming or secondguessing my supposed heritage I whish they , other Asian people could be brave enough to actually ask me !?
Why is it that most Swedes as well other foreigners and immigrants introduces themselves to me by using 20 really-personal-questions-because-it's-important-for-me-to-know-where-you're-from-you're parents don't look-Swedish... kind of questions. Those questions really annoys me but if it is the right person who ask them believe me, than I will actually do my best to answer them.
I have delibrately chosen to exclude fellow Swedish Korean adoptees, mainly because they don't blog in English ... At least that's my excuse... This way it also fells like I'm secure and safe able to write about things I imagine other Korean adoptees might dwell upon and this way I believe it's little chance other KADs in Sweden will get knowledge not only of this blog but also of my opinions...
The Seollal celebrations was funny, although my gut feeling said otherwise I soon got confrimation on my suspicions, and I now have the answer to something I've been wondering about for quite some time.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Separation
Korean Language
Unpatriotic Swede
Saturday, 12 February 2011
What I'll Never Be
I'll never be an ordinary woman, or that average Joe. Being adopted isn't normal and yet so many has been adopted overseas like I. Maybe I wouldn't feel so strongly about this if it wasn't for the fact that I do feel like in the equation of adoption there's one component that generally is overlooked and ignored. And that would be the birthparents, why do adoptive parents seem to believe that once you have your child safe in your arms then adoption isn't really that big of a deal !?
Adoption is common, but just because something is common it too me at least, doesn't neccessarilly mean that is normal. To tell me what my life would have been like if I hadn't been adopted is really uncalled for since it is nothing else but pure speculations. There's no room for that, generalizations or prejudices on this blog.
If my birth family would have consisted of either a or b I might have been more easilly assimilated into the Swedish culture. Of course I suppose I was while I was growing up but now I've started to walk along a different cold, dark and lonely road.
Why would it be so difficult for me to try to learn more about Korea while not forgetting my Swedish upringing...
I whish I didn't even have to write this post but I still chose to...
Adoptive families will never become an average Joe family despite the fact that many families consists of adoptees... Adoptive parents don't get their children from bird nests, adoptees already have a known history one that you should try to remember but not dwell on too much while the child is really young. But then again children are more mature than one says so you'll be the judge of that.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Synonyms
Challenge
Immigrant
Glossary
Adoption
Adoption is common, but just because something is common it too me at least, doesn't neccessarilly mean that is normal. To tell me what my life would have been like if I hadn't been adopted is really uncalled for since it is nothing else but pure speculations. There's no room for that, generalizations or prejudices on this blog.
If my birth family would have consisted of either a or b I might have been more easilly assimilated into the Swedish culture. Of course I suppose I was while I was growing up but now I've started to walk along a different cold, dark and lonely road.
Why would it be so difficult for me to try to learn more about Korea while not forgetting my Swedish upringing...
I whish I didn't even have to write this post but I still chose to...
Adoptive families will never become an average Joe family despite the fact that many families consists of adoptees... Adoptive parents don't get their children from bird nests, adoptees already have a known history one that you should try to remember but not dwell on too much while the child is really young. But then again children are more mature than one says so you'll be the judge of that.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
Synonyms
Challenge
Immigrant
Glossary
Adoption
Friday, 11 February 2011
Let's Make Some Piece Of Cake
Yesterday and earlier today it started snowing heavilly in Sweden as always when this happens it's chaos. Hopefully it will have stopped snowing tomorrow, I hope it does since I will be attending a Korean New Year's Party then...
Today I made my first attempt of Red Velvet Cake , you know the real Red Velvet Cake from the US... and also since it's Valentine's Day on Monday something kind of Swedish; Vanilla Hearts . Home made, and my dad also requested long time ago that I would make another Lemon Meringue Pie which I did. I almost forgot; the recepies used are in Swedish...
Is this blog turning into a food and cooking blog ? No, I assure you that it's not it just happens to be one of the many things I enjoy doing. And no baking sweets isn't really Korean, not Korean at all... but I will continue baking and occassionally publish my latest attempts in the kitchen.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
About Me
Today I made my first attempt of Red Velvet Cake , you know the real Red Velvet Cake from the US... and also since it's Valentine's Day on Monday something kind of Swedish; Vanilla Hearts . Home made, and my dad also requested long time ago that I would make another Lemon Meringue Pie which I did. I almost forgot; the recepies used are in Swedish...
The Vanilla Hearts looks like hearts but on the other side and they were delicious... not that I tried them. Next time I'm considering making my own custard as filling, this time I cheated a bit and used the ready made custard only adding milk.
Is this blog turning into a food and cooking blog ? No, I assure you that it's not it just happens to be one of the many things I enjoy doing. And no baking sweets isn't really Korean, not Korean at all... but I will continue baking and occassionally publish my latest attempts in the kitchen.
© Taste of Kimchi, Elle
Related posts:
About Me
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