Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Friendships And Reunions

Sadly it seems that sometimes don't mix, I learned it the hard way... Most of my friends since my teens and young adulthood have not been ethnic Swedes but mostly immigrants, exchange students and adoptees. It's not that I have something against Swedes honestly I don't. Why it's like I can't really say.

Recently though, as I was preparing for my first reunion trip, some of friendships begun to develop into something that was less like friendship if anything and it was out my control. You, see I used to share the rejection from adoption as well as the challenge of not knowing, not knowing anything about my roots my birth or my first parents. But that suddenly changed as I begun planning my first reunion back, I begun to talk about my first family and the fears connected to it. People suddenly turned their back on me, stopped returning my phone calls and even stopped greeting me whenver they saw me. To me that is not what a friendship is all about, turning your back on someone just because you feel it's uncomfortable or whatever is not something you do. Not even you consider yourself a really close friend.

This post is about a recent friendship that I found during my University studies and who recently ended because it was heading in the wrong direction. And maybe it's a mistake made from both of our parts...

 Sadly to say, I don't miss those friendships anymore it's true, the friendships that I chose to leave behind for different reasons. Not the new ones I'm still working on... I guess I probably offended some of my readers. Sorry...

I can't just ignore what big life change my reunion meant for me, and it's not likely that I will stop thinking, wondering or talking about them. I love them, each and every one they're my family. Don't ask me to sacrifice that part of my life, just keep a friendship. That's not fare...

Either accept that my priorities and goals have changed or rather move on to something new. If people can't accept me for who I am then what's the point of sticking around, trying to make an effort to create a lasting band...

And as we all know there are many different dimensions to a friendship, it's not about just one person calling the shots. Friends don't have to share something in common, what it takes is respect, acceptance, loyality and trust and also occational pieces of humble pie...  Take me for example I either have to consume an incredible amount of humble pie or learn how to manage my frankness of always syaing what's on my mind regardless of situation or the people I'm around... It's both a blessing and a curse I suppose.

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle

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  1. Thanks for sharing your feelings with us. I am in the same boat right now. My friends are changing and everyone around seems to be changing as well. Sometimes it is hard to let go, but sometimes it is what's meant to be. We cannot be afraid to let go. I have recently found my family and I am going to meet them this summer. I am happy to hear that you are eagerly reaching out and getting to know them. Just want to remind you to keep your head up through it all. It is through the pain that we find out purpose. Bless

    1. Hi Muzik, I'm happy to hear that you've found your family as well.If someone decides to turn their back on me, I guess that's a friendship I could live without. Thanks for your kind words.