I have a hard time trusting people, believing in compliments is also not something I generally do, if someone anyone says that I'm pretty , handsome, cute or beautiful I will not believe them. Because here in Sweden nobody has never said that to me so how can I trust someone who might say that to me !?
What makes a person beautiful ? What makes one person more beautiful than others? Is it purely looks and genes or is something else... Can an average looking person with a good heart and nice attitude be translate into good looks.. !?
I don't like body contact, especially not from strangers even friends. Hugs is really annoying to me, they make me feel uncomfortable for some reason. Just like an innocent stroke on the back, would be recieved by me.
Yeah, right like that would happen !? Of course not, I'll always be the ugly akward girl (sorry, woman) no matter what. This means I won't have to decide between keeping my cat or giving him up, which is good because I love my cat very, very much. Too much I think, but I don't care, not right now. He's the only one I can rely on and yes he is just a cat.
I havn't called my grandma once I used to call her at least once a week sometimes several times a week. But it feels like I really messed things up with basically everyone; my birth family and my adoptive family and maybe other peoplle too. But fact is I'm not an easy partygirl, I rarely party but even so I managed to rebel like rebelious teenager towards my older sisters. Not good. I stayed out until 3 AM and didn't go home even though my sister called me. The thing is my phone was switched off at the time and I didn't think of calling home to say I be late, I didn't want to barrow someone else's phone and have them being charged for my phone call...
Now I'm not sure where I stand with my birth family, I think the only one I didn't manage to step on the toes was my brother. But I havn't spoken to him since that first akward phone call...
©Taste of Kimchi, Elle
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Those Days
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