Time To Sneeze

I do love summer but I'd pefer it even more if I could avoid the annual Hay fever. That's why I prefer winter the most. Which season do you like?

Sometimes Ido feel like I do carry the world on my shoulders... Yeah my birth parents were unable to care for me or otherwise prevented top do so. I know that. But some days I feel my adoptiv parents did something cruel by taking my from my birth country more than my birth parents. I'm legally not theirs anymore, I can't and shouldn't go around thinking what if. Because what if never materialized.

Biologically I'm theirs of course, and I really hope I've found the right birth parents. Will my doubt ever disapear I wonder. I do hope so, I really do but who knows maybe I'll always be less 2 % uncertain...
My legal family has tried their best believe me, they have. Most of the days I get along with them but I just wish there was a way that I could honour my birth family while still not disrespecting or threatening my legal (adoptive) family.

Maybe, I should try to bend over backwards to try to please everyone, maybe I should stop trying and instead focus on the now. The things I have. Basically taking a child from their birth culture and family some days feels like a to big a burden to carry. If that's adoption in a nutshell than I've lost my trust in humanity at least partially. And I do know many sunshine stories, but personally I am only aware of the things I gained access to and I basically have no knowledge of my supposed what if life.

Now, I'm a proud owner of one of those smart phones, and it's a Samsung...

And no I'm not a coward for not wanting to publish pictures in my blog and more importantly to blog under a nickname. If you've followed my blog once in a while you would know why... And I personally don't feel like it's up to me to publish pictures of my birth family because.. I'm afraid that would hurt them and me as well. Yesterday there was an article about a Swedish woman who had gotten her facebook account hacked, and the attacker supposedly also read her blog and claimed ownership of pictures from that blog and is supposed to have been trying to portray that woman. Living this woman's life, as she would have done it.

That's another argument not publish pictures, blog with alias and to not have a facebook account... If it actually is true...

© Taste of Kimchi, Elle


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