If I don't get after my dream then I will always be on my mind.
Of course I could always settle and try to contempt-but I would never be it.
Most likely I would turn into an angry bitter woman and that should say a lot.
I am not willing to sacrifice my dream for anyone not even if I gain unconditional love in return.
Not until I tried my best would be inclined to consider recreating a new life under new circumstances.
I just think a lot about my birth mother and my olders sisters. Now I know that it is my mother that somehow is accountable for their nonexistant contact with me. My maternal grandmother refused me the oppertunity be raised with my older siblings. I have been rejected by three generations of women in my birthfamily and also two generations of men.
