Lost Lives

The sudden ferry accident outside Jindo where 80 % of the passengers were High School students from Anam , Hanwon High School is indeed a tragic loss. I do believe it could have been prevented.. I honestly do.

Korea is a very competitive society were the collective good comes before individual needs. This means the Korean mentality basically says that showing emotion in public is not socially accepteed.
"Only small children cries" instead of talking openbly about their feelings, emotions and reactions to things they don't mention it at all.

With more over 200 missing or dead teenagers there is a fear that the suicide rate will increase, because it is a parents worst nightmare to survive while they loss their children instead.

The 22year old female part time worker who refused to leave and save herself, who tried to rescue as many as she could, the engaged 20s couple who tried to look for more or the middleaged teacher who wanted to try to rescue and save his students.There were many brave teenagers onboard the Sewol ferry, the Choi boy who made the 911call, the part time worker, the engaged couple, or the boy who gave away his lifejacket to a friend and the teenage couple who died tied together... And the brave civilians that stepped in and helped to rescue some, some who even lost their own lives...

Will this nightmare mean that Korea has to change their view on healthcare ? Nobody did approch the assigned Health Care workers at the Jindo gymnasium. Many parents have mentioned not wanting to live...

If it would have been a ferry with 80% adult passengers instead of High School students would the captain have acted differently would the expected death toll not have been as high.. !? Who knows.
I can't imagine how this feels, but I feel the collective grief. Experts talk about a collective depression yet depression isn't a common word in the Korean vocabulary. Depression 불경기 (bulyeongki) while suicide is 자살 jasal (chasal) and the incident has already claimed it's first victim by suicide, the vice principal of the Anwon High School in Anam.

(I will not write about the president or crew members of the Sewol ferry -this is not the time. I will find another place to write about the crew and suspected wrongdoing and criminal act..)

Try to not feel guilty for having survived, celebrate it even if it's hard.

To those who survived

죄책감을하지 말아주세요...

Il Divo, 
꽃, 꽃이 필까 예 예 그들은 그들은 것입니다 윌 
당신이 여기 아직 태어나의 경우가 있습니다. 
그들은 꽃을하겠다는 그들은 것 및 그 때까지 다시 개화 
거기에는없는 슬픔은 없습니다 및 이유 애도 남아

Onni's Daughter

Transnational adoptions from many countries have declined over the past years while others just begun, one of those countries would be South Korea. Instead of continuing to send orphans abroad they have seriously tried to promote domestic adoptions insted. We can already see the consequences of such efforts, and I do think it's a positive step for them and I'm happy for them.

Yet society still doesn't welcome adoptees in Korean families because of the importance of blood ties and future of family surnames, since women marry into their husbands family but still keep their maiden names. One my sisters recently got married to a very nice, respectable man and she seemed to be so loving and caring. I so wish so could would be able to experience motherhood and raising children of her own. I know she would be the perfect mother, because I have felt her love and warm and tender heart. That might not be possible though unless she and her husband doesn't choose adoption...

 But then again she may just as well be as content with being an Onni to all of her nieces and nephews. I wonder what her husband feels about the possibility of a barren wife and no likelihood of future offsprings and children - that is if they don't decide to become domestic adoptive parents. She may as well be content with that just being a cool hip aunt but it honestly breaks my heart to know that it's possible my beloved sister possibly never will be able to know the unconditional love a child offers it's parents, how a daughter adores her father and wants to be like her mother and how a son idolizes his mother. That could be the burden that my sweet innocent sister might have to carry for life. It's the burden on her shoulders perhaps, but it could just as well be a possibility for a new and daring future.

Maybe Omma and Appa only wished for their remining children to be happy, and experience love and build a family. It is possible that they prioritized my siblings happiness and was less concerned with blood ties... The loss of me, could mean that they now try hard to make up for things they lost with me. Both Omma and Appa are crazy for their grandchildren and spoils them rotten whenver they get the chance...

Since my birth family already have a foreigner in the family as well as half Korean children, I can't be certain of how they feel about adoption. They don't seem like most Koreans which is why I can't say for sure that they never would consider it. They might for all I know, yet they have experienced the loss and separation from adoption which honestly could be in favour of domestic adoption just as well as it could mean that never would consider it...