Let It Be

Let Me Be
The Me
I Was
Meant to Be
The Person That
I Once
Was Supposed
To Be

Is it not ironic that I have a yearning and a life long dream to resettle in Korea, try my wings and search for happiness and luck -while one of my sisters did exactly the opposite. She did not marry a Korean man, nor did she settled in Korea she built a future overseas.

The culture that I long to know better and love tremendously she choose to reject and cast aside.  For reasons I am not sure off she decided to marry a foreign man. She knows the culture that we both are proucts of she knows what she dislikes about. Whereas I cannot reject or dislike anything Korean it is a part of me. If I reject it, I ignore a part of me.

I cannot change what happened or undo my adoption . I cannot disolve my adoption (it's supposedly not possible). Whould I even want to..? One part of me wants to do it, and another part doesnt' think its worth it. That would cause more pain for one or both of my families plus it was almost 29 years ago I was relinguished for adoption.

Plus I don't even know for sure if my birth ceritificate is real (social study).

R.I.P Angel KADs

My dear sweet angels and innocent souls. How much my heart yerns for you all, my heart is heavy for you all. You were all taken way to soon, I can't help but to think of your birthmothers.... Do they know, that you're no longer living- that your life was ended by the one person that was supposed to keep you safe ? 

• 1957, Wendy Kay Ott, 22 months old
• 1972, Kim Marie Firth, 2
• 1976, Danielle Kristine Neil, 13 months
• 1978, Lew Jones, 21
• 1992, Kayla Erlandson, 2
• 1994, Holly 15 & Nicole 14
• 2007, Chaeli Kyrie , 13 months
• 2008, Ethan 10, Seth 9, Mira 5 and Eleanor 3
• 2013, Hyunsu 3

제발 날 용서해 주세요. 우리는 당신의 아이를 보호해야.